Community› The Bump Message Boards› Single Parents
Single Parents
New Discussion

I'm new here and just need some advice.

kaitaloonkaitaloon member
in Single Parents
So DH and I have been together for 12 years and married for 5. We have two DDs, almost 5 and 1. I have had a lot of trust problems with him in the past year. He has lied to me about a lot. "Business trips", working late but really going out drinking, stuff like that. Earlier this year we both agreed that we were pretty much done, neither of us feel anything towards the other. We decided to work through it, our 4 year old was about to have surgery, and we needed to focus on her. So now I caught him in another lie and said I was done. He said that was fine bc he didn't feel anything towards me, and vice versa. As bad as it is, I've put everything behind me and we are just civil. We both agreed that we are just relieved to agree to be done. We are in no big rush to do anything, it's just mutual, our marriage didn't work. Our families are shocked, no one saw it coming. I guess I'm here for advice. Is being civil and mutual even possible? We don't hate each other and we are both totally willing to work with each other. It just sucks. Thanks for listening to my rambling on, but no one in our families have been divorced and none of our friends are, so I have no one in my "situation" to talk to.
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: I'm new here and just need some advice.

  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    What is the statistic? Half of all marriages end in divorce? While that shows the number is staggering, it is kind of hard to find people to relate to regarding divorce because all the hurt and suffering is not usually a go-to topic of conversation in society.  Your situation, well, that is a more rare kind of divorce.  I don't really have advice, I was a child of divorce so I have a different perspective and I also witnessed fighting, pain, and experienced the heartbreak. I was not married and BD and I are on and off fighting and his mom is being the middleman even though she just can't take it anymore.  I hope you find someone to talk to about your situation.

    Much love and good vibes sent your way
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • mamaHippo23mamaHippo23 member

    We were not married and when we broke up he insisted we could be civil and still work together. I have to be honest and say it is not going well. We have never yelled or gotten really ugly, but now I can barely speak to him without wanting to jump out the window.

    Despite that, I really do think two people can remain civil and friendly if they have decent communication and there's no residual bitterness. As long as you two can still listen to each other, solve problems, and make decisions together then I believe it can work. We have horrible communication and argue about almost everything. It sounds like you guys are more stable and mature, so I'm sure you'll find a way to work it out.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"