A Sign of Hope

AJCagle82 · October 2013

I just thought I would share this special moment with all of you. First off, let me say it is my personal belief that there is a God. I am a christian, but I admittedly haven't had the relationship I should with God in the past few years. That being said, the loss of Parker has put more of a strain on our relationship, and there are issues that God and I are having to work out. This post isn't to push my beliefs on anyone. It is simply to share a moment that brought me great comfort, and, dare I say, joy during this dark time.

Late last week, I was on my porch thinking about Parker and I started talking to God (something I haven't done in a while). I was asking Him what he wants from me, why He allowed Parker to be taken from us, etc. I felt nothing in response to my questions and I was extremely frustrated. I wanted to feel something from Him. Last Saturday I finished reading the book "Heaven is for Real." My in-laws sent it to us because we had talked about it while I was in the hospital, and my husband asked them to send it. If you aren't familiar with the book, it is about a young boy's story of going to heaven and what he told his parents about it. There is a lot of talk about rainbows in the book.

The next day, on Sunday, I was in a very somber mood. I was spending the day reflecting on Parker. It was the one month anniversary since I delivered her. My husband and I looked at her pictures and spent some time talking about her and crying. Later that day, MH left to run some errands. I was cooking dinner and my dogs needed to go outside. I started feeling really sick and didn't want to take them out. I went back and forth on whether I would just wait for MH to get home and let him take the dogs. I decided that I would quickly run them outside and then lay down so I might start feeling better. When I walked outside I saw the brightest rainbow arching over our townhouse. It was surrounded by dark clouds, but the rainbow was still so bright. I immediately knew that the rainbow was a message to us. For me it represented that Parker is ok, that there is hope in the future, and that God did hear me no matter how I felt. It was such a special moment for me. It could not have come at a better time. If it happened on any day other than Parker's anniversary, I don't know if I would have seen the same thing. For me, this sign of hope came at a time when I needed it most.

Dixon813 · October 2013

Thank you so, so much for sharing!

Hope is the one thing that keeps me going...

MrsZ816 · October 2013

Lovely story. I love when I experience what I call a "God moment" and feel His presence like that. Thanks for sharing!

AJCagle82 · October 2013

Hope is the only thing that really gets me through. I'm not saying there aren't dark times, because there are plenty of those! Knowing that my sweet little girl is OK and being loved by the only one who could possibly love her more than me gives me peace during those dark times.