Reading about birth & perineal tears is a gut check

wtfisup · October 2013

I've been pretty happy, positive, all is well, isn't this wonderful about being pregnant, but I woke up at 4 a.m. (horribly) and wound up reading this albeit well-written, informative article. And now I'm like, "Ummm. What. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat am I doiiiiiiing?"

PrimRoseMama · October 2013

I've had two tears. Pain meds & numbing spray are your friend but its not that bad.

momofmanyinthemitten · October 2013

Truth be told, my c-section was an easier recovery than the 2nd degree tear (and more lovely things) from my VBAC.

jasrun80 · October 2013

its true, but you wont care after it heals. with my first my labor was 2 hours and i went from 4-10 in ten minutes & it was time to push. i think because my labor was so crazy fast, that it was worsened because i had no time to stretch. i was induced with my second because i live far from our hospital & the labor period that felt comparable was about 4-5 hours, i still got snipped, but i was fine the next day. absolutely fine.

asheri · October 2013

I had a surprise episiotomy ( a "...What are you doing with those scissors?!" Surprise) with my first. It did take a while to heal, but it's really not that bad. That is what Motrin is for!

awc1986 · October 2013

I'm firmly in the "lalala I can't hear you" camp when it comes to the birth and I intend to stay that way.

tbmadeamistake · October 2013

An episiotomy/tearing was literally my biggest fear surrounding labor/delivery. When the time came, and the pressure to so immense, my midwife mentioned she might want to make a small cut. I said fine. DH stopped the entire process (yelled out stop, every one turned and looked at him, he double checked with me that I was really ok with it...apparently he DOES listen!). I told him he wasn't feeling the pressure that I was, she could make the damn cut. It was not half as bad as I thought it was going to be and healed up quickly. I didn't even need many pain meds. If you're going to read articles like that, read up on sitz baths as well. They are amazeballs.

alm288 · October 2013

Oh geez. I could have written this! This is my biggest fear!! I've heard too many horror stories.

@lilygrace48: that's funny - made me crack up

AmyfromMI · October 2013

I has 2 episiotomies and an epidural with both and if the Dr wouldn't have told me I never would have know. Apparently using scissors is better than allowing someone to tear.

My biggest fear was always pooping on the table

tbmadeamistake · October 2013

AmyfromMI said:

I has 2 episiotomies and an epidural with both and if the Dr wouldn't have told me I never would have know. Apparently using scissors is better than allowing someone to tear. My biggest fear was always pooping on the table

This also really isn't as bad as people think. It's not like when you sit on the toilet and poop, it's a not big formed log. It's more like a little leakage here and there. The nurses wipe it up before you even realize you've done it.

ncbelle · October 2013

It's MUCH better to tear naturally than to be cut. Episiotomies are no longer considered best practice.

Of course you may not tear at all or badly. My first was 8 lb 6oz with a 99th percentile head - I had two stitches. My second was 10 pounds with a 99th percentile head and I didn't tear at all. I had super easy recoveries both times.

Just so you don't have only horror stories in your head

Lynnja616 · October 2013

I had an episiotomy with my first, second degree tear with my second. The tear was MUCH easier to heal and recover from. I honestly was fine and didn't even really need the Motrin/pain meds. Second one was really NBD.

abbyful · October 2013

ncbelle said:
It's MUCH better to tear naturally than to be cut. Episiotomies are no longer considered best practice.

My birth plan with baby #1 was to tear naturally. My OB gave me choice during labor, he said we can wait for the tear which would probably be 20 minutes longer, or he could make the cut. Natural birth, and at that point I was just like "get it OUT!". The sound of the scissors though, ugh, hearing the snip was worse than the cut itself.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined.

wtfisup · October 2013

I think the part of the article that got me the most was describing all the pressure. Keep in mind, I was reading this at 4 a.m. when I couldn't sleep. I just kept imagining my pelvic bone breaking. (I know that won't happen, BUT.)

It will be fine. Fine. Baby will slip out like a wet spaghetti noodle, RIGHT?

momofmanyinthemitten · October 2013

Lilygrace48 said:

AmyfromMI said:

I has 2 episiotomies and an epidural with both and if the Dr wouldn't have told me I never would have know. Apparently using scissors is better than allowing someone to tear. My biggest fear was always pooping on the table

This also really isn't as bad as people think. It's not like when you sit on the toilet and poop, it's a not big formed log. It's more like a little leakage here and there. The nurses wipe it up before you even realize you've done it.

Speak for yourself, yo! I was super constipated before I gave birth and pooped logs multiple times with my VBAC. When it's happening, you really don't care. You're too worried about shooting that sucker out.

jenb_99 · October 2013

I must admit this is the biggest reason I'm glad I had a c-section. DS's head was so big he never dropped or engaged and I never dilated past a 3 even with my weeklong induction involving Prostin, Cytotec, and Pitocin. It's unlikely I would've been able to have him vaginally even if my doctor had continued to let me labor, but if by some miracle I had, he would've ripped me to shreds. Eep!

Not helpful, I know. Sorry. lol

yvanehtnioj · October 2013

All BTDT moms--- will kegels help my vagina tear less?

mamabird19 · October 2013

I do my best not think about the actual birth part.. I suppose a time will come when I will have to face it but it freaks me out. I am planning on having a home birth which I feel great about but the tearing and what not gives me the willies. I already feel bad enough with morning sickness!

LLolaBean · October 2013

I had an epidural, so during the actual episiotomy and then tear, it wasn't bad. But I had a 3rd degree tear and the recovery was pretty long and very painful. And since the sphincter was involved, there's no more waiting and holding it to go to the bathroom anymore, if you know what I mean..
If I have a long labor this time I'm going straight to a c-section.

Meery82 · October 2013

I had a 2nd degree tear and it really wasn't too bad for me. I think the worst part was laughing with stitches.

rona118 · October 2013

Lilygrace48 said:

An episiotomy/tearing was literally my biggest fear surrounding labor/delivery. When the time came, and the pressure to so immense, my midwife mentioned she might want to make a small cut. I said fine. DH stopped the entire process (yelled out stop, every one turned and looked at him, he double checked with me that I was really ok with it...apparently he DOES listen!). I told him he wasn't feeling the pressure that I was, she could make the damn cut. It was not half as bad as I thought it was going to be and healed up quickly. I didn't even need many pain meds. If you're going to read articles like that, read up on sitz baths as well. They are amazeballs.

I tell all my friends having babies (and their friends too) to make sure the nurse shows you how to use the sitz bath!! Who ever invented really deserves a prize or something. lol

Pepper6 · October 2013

kielpinskim said:

Lilygrace48 said:

AmyfromMI said:

I has 2 episiotomies and an epidural with both and if the Dr wouldn't have told me I never would have know. Apparently using scissors is better than allowing someone to tear. My biggest fear was always pooping on the table

This also really isn't as bad as people think. It's not like when you sit on the toilet and poop, it's a not big formed log. It's more like a little leakage here and there. The nurses wipe it up before you even realize you've done it.

Speak for yourself, yo! I was super constipated before I gave birth and pooped logs multiple times with my VBAC. When it's happening, you really don't care. You're too worried about shooting that sucker out.

This is why I want DH to stay by my head during delivery. The only people I want all up in my business are ones with medical degrees...

abbyful · October 2013

Pepper6 said:
<
This is why I want DH to stay by my head during delivery. The only people I want all up in my business are ones with medical degrees...

This is what I thought with baby #1. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even if he's by your head, he'll be able to see everything. You will be able to see most of it too.

MJC1116 · October 2013

The episiotomy was really not that bad. But, I had been pushing for 2 1/2 hours, so when the dr said episiotomy or she will have to use the vacuum, I opted for the cut. 1 push later and DD was out. Totally cornball response, but seeing my precious baby distracted me from all the pain and discomfort. After, pain meds and ice helped a lot!! A friend suggested soaking some diapers and freezing them. Then you have a nice sized ice pack for your lady parts! Edit: spelling

tbmadeamistake · October 2013

DH saw everything but said it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. I didn't want to see, and turned down the mirror, but my midwife had glasses on so I got to watch it all anyway!

pigtails1031777 · October 2013

I didn't tear at all with number one which was natural no drugs.
I think a lot if people tear that get the epi. It's hard to feel because they tell you when to push.
My sec was a c and never again would I take that route

PrimRoseMama · October 2013

yvanehtnioj said:
All BTDT moms--- will kegels help my vagina tear less?

Doubtful. Though they can help your pelvic floor muscles not get so beat up.

JessElam · October 2013

I had to have a 3.5 degree episiotomy because all the fluid that accumulated in my ankles moved down to my vagina when I was pushing. I swelled up and he couldn't come out - and the epi wore off. I was just telling my husband last night that of all the pregnancy concerns - my biggest concern is the post partum recovery.

I cried sitting on the toilet because I was so terrified to poop when I got home. I developed 3 hemi's, plus the stitches...it was a hot mess I the thought of how bad it would hurt scared the hell out of me!! Praying I don't experience it that bd again this time!

singingsea · October 2013

:::Lurking:::

After a 30 hour labor I was in "do whatever you need to do to get him out healthy" mode.

If you choose to go the epidural route you won't feel it. I had second degree tearing and all I felt the was most insane pressure I've ever felt in my life.

The aftermath isn't pretty. I definitively had to get some stitches. The doctor sewed me up and sent me home with some pain pills and I had me a nice 4 week period

Invest in a boppy pillow to sit on and take all the disposable underwear and ice pads they'll allow you to walk out with at the hospital.

Little man is now 8 months and everything is back to normal down there

singingsea · October 2013

Lilygrace48 said:

AmyfromMI said:

I has 2 episiotomies and an epidural with both and if the Dr wouldn't have told me I never would have know. Apparently using scissors is better than allowing someone to tear. My biggest fear was always pooping on the table

This also really isn't as bad as people think. It's not like when you sit on the toilet and poop, it's a not big formed log. It's more like a little leakage here and there. The nurses wipe it up before you even realize you've done it.

I kept my nurses laughing. I was all like "Oh crap I'm pooping". Klassy.

ncbelle · October 2013

True story about pooping in labor - first, you really WILL NOT care

So my second was a water birth (sort of - long story). They totally use those little nets like you use to scoop fish out of an aquarium to "fish" out your poop - yup! I mean, what can you do but laugh

Birth isn't dainty - but you really WILL NOT care!

kTedesco10 · October 2013

@ncbelle I'm dying. The mental image hahaha. I would definitely laugh at myself too. No embarrassment happens during birth lol. Seriously when I had my second there were so many people in the room looking at my vagina I should have charged a fee! Haha. Back tot the topic, my OB has me sign a paper understanding they would prefer to let patients tear on their own mules there is a serious complication, because it is just better then cutting through every layer purposely. I tore with my first (4hours of labor start to end)she was 6lb 5oz. Just had maybe 4/5 stitches, I thought I was dying, I swear I didn't poop for a week because I thought I would rip open and bleed out everywhere. My second was 8lb 15oz and I didn't tear a bit. (2 hours of labor start to finish) It definitely doesn't hurt right after they come out, it takes a little to sink in. There's to much relief when they first come out and excitement. I didn't think I had a almost 9 pound baby naturally until they said her weight, I was shocked!! I have to agree the ring of fire was way worse for me. Such am appropriate name for it lol

srcr2011 · October 2013

As far and tearing and episiotomy...in nursing school I was told tearing is better than an episiotomy. It's a cleaner cut so you could potentially rip more vs a natural tear, will only go as far as is needs to and is more jagged. Only in emergency cases will they cut you. There was no research done proving one heals better than the other. I was in nursing school about 6 years ago, research may have changed, so don't quote me on that. I am not an L&D nurse either (I'm a middle school nurse). What helped me through L&D was knowing what I know as a nurse. I knew the medical lingo, what to expect during an epidural, and what they were talking about as far as meds and why I needed them.

What freaked me out, was pooping! I was terrified to poop, didn't happen thank God, not sure how it didn't either, I pushed hard for 2 1/2 hours! I thought after 1 hour, something had to come out! lol They also brought in a mirror! Oh my gosh! Freaked me out! They thought if I saw the progress, I would be motivated to push harder, it had the opposite effect. Scared me so bad, I didn't want to push, I didnt want to see myself poop, I didn't want to see my vag that huge, I didnt want to see anything! I yelled "Get it outta here now!!".

rowanthefrog · October 2013

Do lots of kegel exercises and perineal massage. Learn how to relax your body during birth, read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. There are things you can do to help, but its not the end of the world if it happens. I had a small tear with my VBAC, required 1 stitch. It was mildly painful, but I haven't had issues with snissing (outside of when I'm pregnant) and my husband swears I don't feel different when we have sex.

A

SecondTimeinMSU · October 2013

OMG. I've given birth and I had to stop midway thru that article since I didn't want to see it. I really didn't see anything that happened, I guess I was more focused on DH and those lying nurses who kept telling me I was close. Close means it is almost over people! I think I've really blocked out the whole thing, DH can better recall how painful it was than me. All I remember most vividly was the complete feeling of utter relief when they finally pulled him out and laid him on me. It is one of those things that is mentally intimidating to think about but once you are in the middle of it you kinda just hold on and get thru it.

FAWKES81 · October 2013

Lilygrace48 said:

AmyfromMI said:

I has 2 episiotomies and an epidural with both and if the Dr wouldn't have told me I never would have know. Apparently using scissors is better than allowing someone to tear. My biggest fear was always pooping on the table

This also really isn't as bad as people think. It's not like when you sit on the toilet and poop, it's a not big formed log. It's more like a little leakage here and there. The nurses wipe it up before you even realize you've done it.

OMG, GOD BLESS YOU...I needed a laugh so bad and this supplied it! I've considered this possibility as well but never considered that it wouldn't be a "big formed log". These day's I never know what is going to tickle my funny bone or make the tears come, I'm so glad this did both!

)

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LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

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Married DH 7/30/11

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