How do you think positive? I suck at it.

JalepenoPepper · October 2013

I am the worst pessimist out there, so this whole thinking positively just ain't working for me. In my mind, I've already gotten the BFN. I'm starting to think of 1 more cycle. I'm starting to think of the fact that we may be 1-and-Done-not-by-choice.

So for real ladies, teach me how to think positively.

gmc222 · October 2013

After my m/c followed by two IUI BFN's I was in a very pessimistic place. I don't have any real advice for you other than to keep trying and to always expect the worst but hope for the best. Is your DH a good support for you?

Hang in there, don't lose hope yet *hugs*

pettycrocker · October 2013

Have you ever read the book "The Secret"? It really changed my whole outlook on life.

Anyway, in the worst lows I'm all about "fake it, till you make it" I try to tell myself every cycle is an amazing cycle, we did every thing perfectly and amazing things are going to happen. Then I test early, and get tons of negatives and eventually (towards the end of the cycle) I start getting depressed- but that usually only lasts a couple days, because then I say "Now I have another chance to try again and it's going to go perfect, and amazing, blah, blah, blah, etc etc etc" LOL it is not easy- you have to really be dedicated to it.

Now aside from all of that, once we'd been trying for what felt like 100 years, I added a journal to the mix, and I literally write the SAME THING every single night- for example:

Thank you for this amazing day full of peace and blessings.

I choose (whatever positive adjectives you like) peace, happiness, health, positivity, etc etc etc

Thank you for all of the amazing blessings of tomorrow. Smiley faces, etc etc etc

Lol, it seems silly but this way, no matter how shitty my day has been, I make myself close it on a happy note, and I wake up feeling better. I write the same thing every night because there are days where I want to drive off a fucking bridge, its all so overwhelming and depressing- but I can not allow myself to dwell on that negativity, you know? I need to make myself stay positive and this is how I do it.

Hope this helps you. You get the idea. You have to figure out how to trick yourself, because this IF crap we're going through is the pits.

JalepenoPepper · October 2013

DH is wonderful. I wish I could have his positive attitude. He's like, we already have a beautiful little boy. How horrible can life be when we have that little sucker :x

Jen071407 · October 2013

I'm with @Mrs Castillo and am forcing the crap outta being positive. Like my iui was today and as far as I'm concerned everything was perfect and I'm going to get a bfp, dammit.

When I find myself drifting into negative thoughts I slam on the brakes and refuse to let myself continue that thought and find something to distract me, usually my kids or a book if I happen to have time. Or come on here since the support is amazing!

roughkat · October 2013

When you figure it out let me know! Seriously though, I struggle with this as well. I also try to remember that DS is a wonderful, wonderful kiddo and we are so lucky to have him. But it's hard. That's why, after years and years of lurking all over this place, I finally posted here. It's the first time I've really needed support that my friends and husband (however wonderful they are) couldn't provide.

Some of you ladies have amazing attitudes! I wish I could be that way.

kndeckar · October 2013

I struggle with it too. I'm a VERY impatient person. DH is too. I'll be honest we're both the babies of our families and grew up in the instant gratification generation so when want something we want it NOW! So...this whole experience has changed me greatly. I just keep reminding myself of what a strong person I will be from having overcome such adversity. That's what I think of when I can't think of anything else positive.

But seriously more often than not I am a jealous, crazy, crying mess!

breeanne1974 · October 2013

I, too, can be very pessimistic. The glass is 1/2 empty and the sky is always falling.

I have recently found that, like Mrs Castillo, writing down my experiences and feelings has made a tremendous difference. I couldn't sleep one night after a horrible experience with a HSG test and I opened my laptop thinking someone has to get this in writing and warn the others. So I typed out my day from start to finish and as soon as I closed my laptop I felt peace. I was surprised at how therapeutic it was.

So I write for myself.

kndeckar · October 2013

breeanne1974 said:
I, too, can be very pessimistic. The glass is 1/2 empty and the sky is always falling.

I have recently found that, like Mrs Castillo, writing down my experiences and feelings has made a tremendous difference. I couldn't sleep one night after a horrible experience with a HSG test and I opened my laptop thinking someone has to get this in writing and warn the others. So I typed out my day from start to finish and as soon as I closed my laptop I felt peace. I was surprised at how therapeutic it was.

So I write for myself.

Can I hear about your HSG experience?? I'm having mine next week, and I may regret asking, but I'd rather be prepared for the worst!

Want a personalized experience?

How do you think positive? I suck at it.

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