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Baby Crazy

Magnetra1Magnetra1 member
in Babies on the Brain
I know that more than likely a large number of people on here are in a similar boat but I have no one else to talk to about this so I'm sorry... I am at that age where so many of my friends and family members are having kids. I have been married to my husband for 3 years and with him for over 5. We both know that we want kids but he is afraid of change and wants things to be in a perfect position before we start trying. He came from a well off family so it's hard for him to imagine having kids without having a lot of finances in reserve and without it being an option of me staying at home. I on the other hand am trying to help him understand that we don't need that. I actually love to work and yes it is nice to have some (we do have a small reserve) but that having kids is more than the money. I think he is just scared about all of the what if's. 

At least with everyone (15 people so far) being preggo in my family and close friends I get to plan a couple of their baby showers. That kinda helps. At least it gives me an excuse to go look at baby stuff and not feel quite so guilty. Someday...
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Re: Baby Crazy

  • beccam1230beccam1230 member
    It doesn't hurt to try to work everything out before you decide to have a baby. Responsibility is important in the whole process and you're getting a good start :-) But just remember, you know what they say... If you wait until you're totally ready to have a baby, you'll never have one! This really seems more true for men in my opinion, my husband and I have been married for a year in December but we've been together for over 7 years. We wanted and planned this baby but I'm not quite sure he was completely ready for it to happen when it did! He's so excited now and cant wait to meet and hold our son, but it took that push of really not having a choice anymore that got him to this point. Keep working through the decision process, you're off on the right track :-)
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  • beccam1230beccam1230 member
    Haha sorry.. Forgot to add that I'm lurking from 2nd trimester! For some reason I thought I was still on that board! I guess it could be that it's almost 2 am..
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  • bugandbibsbugandbibs member
    Sit down with your husband and discuss the timeline.  Set clear financial goals like how much much you should have in savings before ttc.  Make a budget to work out the costs of staying home, working part time, or full time day care.

    Figure out a plan you both are happy with.
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  • PB&J714PB&J714 member

    I can relate. DH and I recently sat down to talk seriously about my baby fever. We have been married about a year and a half (together for 6.5), and bought a home in May. We both work full time and are doing well financially. We have been able to save and even pay a little extra on the mortgage and my student loans each month. To me, this indicates that we are financially ready, and I know that I am emotionally ready as well. DH, however, is not quite there yet. In his opinion, we still need to make more money before we TTC because he doesn't want our lifestyle to change. He still wants to be able to drop $200 at a sporting event because we can. It's a little frustrating, but I am going to wait until he is as ready as I am so we can be excited about TTC together! In the meantime I'm hunting for a better-paying job that uses my degree more than my current job. Hopefully that will help this process along.

     

    GL, OP! Just keep an open dialogue and set clear goals you both want to acheive before bringing a baby into the picture. Now that I have a clear goal, I can't wait to accomplish it because it gets us one step closer to being a family!

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  • smileybabyboysmileybabyboy member
    Figuring out a budget helps. They always say, there is never a perfect time to have kids. 
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