balancing...tips...help!

bubble515 · October 2013

I haven't posted in a while simply because I'm always running on the go. (as we all are). I hope it's okay that I'm on here.. I'm total at a loss. Here is some background... I have a 1 year old and just went back to work last month after being home for almost a year. I'm at a new job, which is stressful. My DH watches her in the am and she goes to daycare late morning until I pick her up. I am home alone with her for dinner/bedtime because of our work schedules. He gets home late so I'm running around trying to cook..feed her/feed me..bath, bed etc alone.

I am having a real hard time balancing this working mom thing, especially because she isn't sleeping at night. She was on a "schedule" before I went back. My husband tries to follow when to put her down for an am nap with the "wake time window" and at daycare its a total flop. She wont nap and has been there since July.

They suggested to go down to one nap since her AM nap was short. and to get her to nap there. She is napping there, but it still isn't a decent nap. DH says she starts to get tired when he drops her off. To top it off she's been sick since August so we've been on medication after medication, plus dealing with changing them due to side effects from them

She wont sleep at night (the point of this post). Wakes up and either is crying because she wants to sleep... or seems to want to play...we rock, rub.. and have even brought her into our bed. I don't know if its due to her napping, the medication, being sick, developmental? I'm trying to figure it out because I need to sleep so I can function at my job.

Any suggestions? I'm sleep deprived, stressed, and quitting seems like the answer but I know it isn't because of finances and good jobs are hard to come by. I don't have anyone to help so that suggestion wont work.. I've asked people over and over. Any help at this point would be greatly appreciated.

shannm · October 2013

I would move to one nap. How long is she at daycare before they do their afternoon nap? Maybe it would help her to spend more of her morning with the other kids and get her on that schedule?

As for the night issue....this is not a popular opinion.....but I think she is continuing to wake and fuss because she knows that you will respond. It is normal for people including babies to wake throughout the night. The key is that they train themselves to fall right back to sleep. I would consider reading a book or two on sleep training (I personally liked Ferber) and choose what you feel comfortable with. Then BE CONSISTENT. I also recommend doing training over the weekend so you can focus specifically on that and not worry about going to work the next morning.

thedash · October 2013

shannm said:
I would move to one nap. How long is she at daycare before they do their afternoon nap? Maybe it would help her to spend more of her morning with the other kids and get her on that schedule?

As for the night issue....this is not a popular opinion.....but I think she is continuing to wake and fuss because she knows that you will respond. It is normal for people including babies to wake throughout the night. The key is that they train themselves to fall right back to sleep. I would consider reading a book or two on sleep training (I personally liked Ferber) and choose what you feel comfortable with. Then BE CONSISTENT. I also recommend doing training over the weekend so you can focus specifically on that and not worry about going to work the next morning.

I agree that it may be time for sleep training. It worked for us. I read several books and ended up liking Ferber as well. It was hard but necessary for everyone.

bubble515 · October 2013

We did train a while ago and it worked using ferber. The delema is that shes been nonstop sick so we cant sleep train.

bubble515 · October 2013

Her getting sick a while ago undid the training

shannm · October 2013

How is she sick? Cold, ear infection? Is she better now? I'm having trouble understanding why you can't encourage her to settle on her own like you did before....

JJ_13 · October 2013

I think you need to go down to one long nap. Does daycare enforce a certain nap time for the room or do they nap on the baby's schedule? Ideally, at this age, if down to one nap, she would start her nap around noon, assuming she's getting up around 7 am. If daycare can accommodate that, I woudl have DH drop her off a little early - say around 11 am, they can feed her lunch and have her down at noon. Her nap should be at least 2 hours, ideally.

Sickness and sleep training are very difficult. What medications is she on? I think we need more information on that in order to consider your sleep training options. It's bizarre that she's been on medication from July and is not getting better.

Good luck - I know sleep deprivation is so, so, so hard.

bubble515 · October 2013

3 ear infections... Colds.. Strep..fever.. Bronchitus.. Fever again today.

shes been sickness free 2 weeks at most

emberlee3 · October 2013

Take a bath together to relax and save time, then go to bed with LO and let your DH clean up the kitchen when he gets home later.

wilabeth · October 2013

I'm agreeing with trying one nap a day. Our daycare pushed for it at 1 year old, and I didn't think DS was ready... but they were right and it made things a lot easier.

Also, all that sickness sounds pretty common for kids new to daycare. We went a solid 3 months last spring and were at the doc with DS for various reasons every single week! It was exhausting! Just know that it will get better with time. You're a strong momma. Hang in there. Let some of the house work and chores go until your LO is feeling better. 1 year old was a tough age for us -- not old enough to explain what's really wrong. Good luck

bubble515 · October 2013

Than you ladies. I think this has to do with illness, which is impacting the consistency. We haven't caught a break and I think the past few days had something brewing which caused the crap sleep. She has had a 103 temp since yesterday. Our dr has run tests and thank god all is fine! I think it is just her immunity being low and until it is higher, this is the course:(

Thank you for your help.. I will definitely try the suggestions of leaving chores for another time.

bubble515 · October 2013

CTGirl30 said:

Can she do full daycare days so she's on more of a set daytime schedule with the rest of the kids? DD is 2.5 now but moved to the toddler room at age 1 and they drop to one nap then. It took her a few weeks of crankiness to adjust but was then fine. I think you first need to get whatever sickness issues are going on resolved. Have you sought a second opinion? Once she's feeling better, sleep will be easier to address. Get her down to one nap, stay consistent on weekends at home with the same timeframe daycare uses for nap (ours is 12:45 to 2:45, right after lunch). Consistency is key for everything. Let her adjust and if a few weeks pass, then do the sleep training again. In the meantime save chores or anything not urgent until she's in bed or your H is home for backup.

we've discussed it, but what worry that she will only get even more sick being there longer...

nosoup4u · October 2013

My younger son was down to one nap when he was 12 months bc of my older son's schedule. It wasn't an easy transition, but one nap a day at that age can be done.

As for nighttime sleep, both of my kids were bad sleepers around 12 months, it was exhausting! And at that point in time, I was a SAHM, so I didn't have the added stress or exhaustion of a job.

We don't do CIO, but just do what works for you guys - whatever gets everyone the most sleep. And hang in there!

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