Godparents issues....

Josephine Ann · October 2013

Has anyone picked the godparents for their babies yet?? We finally did and of course there was drama... I don't understand y in laws can't just mind their own business... my in laws are upset that we didn't pick his sister to be the godmother... if it isn't one thing it's another....

BethRN1987 · October 2013

I'm kind of dreading this. My maid of honor was my H's sister and his best man was his brother. So in thinking my brother and his wife should be our godparents for our first

LaurenAsh23 · October 2013

Not yet...and IMO, I don't think people need to share this decision with others (family included) until the baby is here and it's really time for baptism.

erind0213 · October 2013

With dd my mil was upset we didnt choose dh's sister but I said we each picked one...his choice was his cousin who he is a god parent of and I picked my niece.

My feeling was sil is the aunt so she already has an role to play and so I wanted somebody else to have a special role.

rachbaby1 · October 2013

I grew up Catholic so god parents has a weird baptisimal correlation for me - if you don't go through the whole ritual, do you just tell people they are godparents? Is there a thing? Even if I qualified to have a child baptized in a church (I don't think attending only for funerals and weddings for the past decade qualifies me), I have 0 friends who would qualify as active catholics. Thanks!

laurenann89 · October 2013

What exactly is a godparent? I've heard of that before, but was never sure what it meant.

jbelle · October 2013

rachbaby1 said:

I grew up Catholic so god parents has a weird baptisimal correlation for me - if you don't go through the whole ritual, do you just tell people they are godparents? Is there a thing?

I don't think it's a weird correlation, I think it's a direct one. The godparent role is purely religious or culture, not a legal one. If you want the same people for your god parents as for your children's legal guardians, you need to name them as legal guardians in your will.

rachbaby1 · October 2013

@jbelle - no offense meant at all - I just wasn't sure if only catholic folk did the godparent thing!

memali26 · October 2013

laurenann89 said:

What exactly is a godparent? I've heard of that before, but was never sure what it meant.

For many people these days a godparent is just chosen to be a special person in a child's life. Some people also use godparent as the term for the person who is written in their will as the child(ren)'s legal guardian, though those are really two separate things.

Religiously speaking, a godparent is a person chosen to help educate/guide the child in their religious life and serve as a religious role model or sorts. In my case, we are Lutheran and chose godparents who are active in our faith and will set a good example for our children of what it means to live our faith. They were with us at the girls' baptisms and made promises to that effect to God and our children.

laurenann89 · October 2013

@memali26

Thanks for the explanation! I understand now.

Sorry I can't offer any advice on the situation. His sister will be the child's aunt no matter what, which is still a special role in his/her life!

dannie2011 · October 2013

I'm not even bothering to get God Parents this time. It doesn't have the same meaning as it did when I was a kid.

aracelyluna · October 2013

My son'a godmother is my sister. Right now my parents are legal guardians if something happened. In 5 yrs we will change it to her. It's just if we died tomorrow there is no way she is ready financially to care for our kids.

mizzjulien · October 2013

We have chosen a god father but not a god mother and everyone is putting the pressure on us about who the godparents should be. So annoying! Can WE choose OUR child's godparents in peace!

rubylovebug · October 2013

We have picked out our godparents (his best friend & my oldest sister). Some people know, but we haven't announced yet - I have 2 other sisters who I'm equally close to & don't want to hurt their feelings. I know my mom's a little miffed that the godfather isn't family, but it was important to me that we chose people who's faith / ethics / morals matched ours & the people we've chosen have that. & that's the response I use when we encounter criticism.

We will be having a Catholic baptism. I'm not sure I'd pick godparents if we weren't. Our plan for guardianship of our children will be my parents, who are still young & able enough - if / when that changes, we'll probably pick from the godparents of whatever children we have at that time.

Edit: Wording.

ring_pop · October 2013

This is exactly why we didn't choose DS' godparents until after he was born, and we'll do the same this time.

I don't know who they'll be, but definitely not either of our siblings. Neither of them are practising Catholics and it is important to me that we choose someone who will actually be the religious role model we want.

To this day, MIL still sometimes makes passive-aggressive remarks about the fact that we chose a friend as DS' godmother, but well, I don't give a damn what she thinks. Our friend is the most amazing godmother I could ask for.

rae6883 · October 2013

dannie2011 said:

I'm not even bothering to get God Parents this time. It doesn't have the same meaning as it did when I was a kid.

Ditto

fish8412 · October 2013

We are choosing my brother and sister-in-law as godparents for many reasons, but the primary is they will be written into our will as legal guardians if something were to happen. I think it is absolutely ridiculous for other family members to throw a fit because of who you choose to be the godparents. That is your personal choice and people need to respect that. I see so many comments regarding family members complaining about decisions you are making in regards to your body and baby. This is complete BS and I wouldn't have any of it.

amsat · October 2013

We have guardians picked out as well as godparents. The godparents will have a heavy influence in our child's life and we trust them to be an influence spiritually and morally. The guardians are a couple that we have similar lifestyles and parenting styles.

HobokensFury · October 2013

Yes- my sister and my best friend.

angelsnight · October 2013

We have, but we won't ask them until LO is here and we are planning the baptism. We're choosing my brother and MH's sister....hopefully there won't be any drama that we aren't choosing my brother's fiancee. Nothing against her at all, we just don't believe it has to be a couple, and we each want to honor a sibling.

jbelle · October 2013

rachbaby1 said:
@jbelle - no offense meant at all - I just wasn't sure if only catholic folk did the godparent thing!

@rachbaby1: goodness, no; so sorry my remarks seemed to indicate any offense! Just agreeing with you that the role is correlated to baptism--albeit not exclusively Catholic. I was mainly interested in pointing out that the godparent relationship is not a legal one.

rachbaby1 · October 2013

@jbelle - mine just seemed a little anti religion when I read them over again, and I didn't really mean it that way - even though the catholic church is scary to me

kristynachicago · October 2013

I'm in a pickle when it comes to choosing Godparents as well. My husband is Mexican and in his culture, a Godparent is given a special honor/name "Padrino/Madrina," so he thinks that a Godparent should not be family, but should be close friends.

He seems to think that if we ask my sister and his brother, for example, it would seem duplicative to have someone be an Aunt/Uncle and a Madrina/Padrino...

my family has always chosen other family members, namely the aunts and uncles...my mother is already pressuring me about picking my sister, but my husband looks at the Godparent as an opportunity to bring someone else into the "family" that will be close to our child and have a special place in our lives. I see both sides and feel very torn! It will just be hard to explain to my sister/brother that we're not picking family at all...

jwls84 · October 2013

We don't have godparents for B, but we have chosen a gaurdian for him and future LO's. We haven't told anyone beside the person who we named, because MIL would flip her kid if she found out it wasn't her or someone in her family.
I say don't worry about the drama, you are choosing how you want and who is best for your child not who will cause the least drama! People are so ignorant! I wish that you didn't have to deal with the drama!

Josephine Ann · October 2013

Thanks for ur input ladies... The issue here is that I'm Catholic and my husband is Jewish... With our son we chose my sister and one of his bestfriends and now his family is giving us problems b/c we didn't choose his sister... in the Catholic religion the godparents have to be practicing catholics, but his family doesn't seem to understand that or maybe they just don't want to....

Josephine Ann · October 2013

saraboespflug said:

Josephine Ann said:

Thanks for ur input ladies... The issue here is that I'm Catholic and my husband is Jewish... With our son we chose my sister and one of his bestfriends and now his family is giving us problems b/c we didn't choose his sister... in the Catholic religion the godparents have to be practicing catholics, but his family doesn't seem to understand that or maybe they just don't want to....

I know many people that aren't catholic that don't understand how godparents work within the religion. Maybe try to explain this to them, especially of you plan on raising your LO catholic.

I have tried but they don't want to listen... They feel that the religion of the godparent should have nothing to do with it....

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