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Bday Question

kanela13kanela13 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
Are birthdays for your LO necessary when there aren't any kids attending?

Our DS is turning three soon and we're expecting another LO next year so we want to make this bday special so we're going to Disneyland and the following weekend doing the Day Out a with Thomas. I told my DH that I didn't want to do a party since we're doing all this plus the extra expense of providing a party for DH's family (my family is out of the state) which does not include any children.

When I told my MIL this morning that we might not have a party because of the other activities and the other weekend she's out of town and I told her I don't want to have it just for DH's fathers side so she said OK, as if she were offended we weren't having a party, and then looked at the calendar to look at other possible dates and said that we could always have the party later in the day, but whatever.

The first two bdays for DS were big deals and only fun because my nephew was there to play with DS; none of the adults tried to interact with my DS.

Is it so horrible that I don't want to have a birthday party? It's not like I'm neglecting his birthday since we're still doing something special. DH's mom side ALWAYS makes a big deal out of birthdays (they still make cake and a special dinner for everyone and they're 30+) so he's having issues because he feels guilty but I'm putting my foot down.

What are your thoughts?
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Re: Bday Question

  • kristenndkristennd member
    We're not doing a birthday party until he has actual friends to invite. Not least because we're 2-3 time zones away from all family, but really that's an excuse rather than a reason.
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  • blu-eyedwifeblu-eyedwife member
    Personally, I love birthday parties.  Realistically, they're not necessary.  If you're acknowledging the specialness of the date by doing something really fun and special (Disneyland - don't forget to get his birthday button!) then that's fine.  It's not like you're locking him in a dark corner and pretending he doesn't exist.

    But I do get the family thing - they want to celebrate/feel a part of it.  I would second @mullenem's suggestion of doing a dinner or something with the family.  Not necessarily a party, just a chance for them to feel included.
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  • kgs0505kgs0505 member
    DS's first b-day was a big deal and we had tons of people.  His 2nd b-day I was hugely pregnant with twins (they came exactly 2 weeks later), and not a whole lot of family was available anyway.  We just had pizza and cake with my step MIL who was staying with us because I was on bedrest, and our neighbors who have a son DS's age.  So the kids played and we all chatted until nap time and it was done :)  Very simple.  This year will be another big one because it's his 3rd and the girls 1st, so will will have a big joint party since they are exactly 2 weeks apart.  Individually we'll celebrate everyone on their day, but the party is a one and done.  No need to have a huge celebration for every birthday.  A small cake and dinner of their choice will be plenty. I loved those b-days as much as the ones with the parties.  It didn't matter because it was my special day and it was acknowledged.

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