Embarrassing behavior from 15 month old!!

MaggieF516 · October 2013

Ok, I don't know if this is normal so I thought I would get other working moms advice. When I pick up my son after work from his grandmother's (who is is caregiver while I work, grandma on his father's side), he sometimes cries when I am taking him away from her. This is so embarrassing! He doesn't even want to come to me. I know that he loves her very much and I think that's great, but it is still sad he gets so upset when I take him away from her to go home. He also sees his father 2 days a week (we're seperated) and does the same thing when he has to go back to me. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who ever even minimally disciplines him (and I don't either which is an issue for another post LOL) as they both let him do whatever he wants, so I'm not sure if this maybe has something to do with it. I feel like he may see me as the "mean one" who makes him sit in his highchair, go in the carseat, makes him go to bed, etc. while he gets to "play" and have fun more with his father. He does cry though at times when I drop him off at his grandmothers in the morning. Is it just a normal activity for a child to get upset when they are going from one person to the next (or does my son hate me LOL)? Thanks in advance!

jf198400 · October 2013

My DD is in DC now but used to stay with my mom, they are very close. She gets very upset whenever Grandmom goes home. She had a full melt down the other day, laying on the floor crying inconsolably. I don't take it personal, kids don't have a limit on how much love they have to give.

Mustardseed2007 · October 2013

Also if you're picking her up from a "daycare" space, it may actually be stress from being away from you. I read recently (someplace, maybe parenting magazine?) that kids who cry when their parents come to pick them up from DC are not expressing that they don't want to go with their parents, it's that they are expressing stress from having been away from their parents. Something to keep in mind.

Having said that, my 20 month old cries whenever my sister leaves after coming over to visit. She sneaks him cookies and lets him play on her phone so when she comes over the first thing he does is either 1) hug her and make a beeline for her purse to get her phone or 2) hug her and the put his finger to his lips and say "Shhhh! Cookie" (right in front of us, he doesn't get real secret keeping).

At least he hugs her first.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

It's totally normal. Kids can struggle with transition. Hell, my three year old told me he wanted to sleep at daycare the other day instead of come home with me lol

WBMom · October 2013

Totally normal! My son is 15 months old also and almost every day last week (and so far this week) he has cried when I picked him up from DC. He would run back to his caregiver for hugs and give me the stink eye. I know he loves me and also loves his DC providers. He just knows he has to get in a carseat and that is not as much fun as playing with blocks!

TheBorg7of9 · October 2013

Maybe she can help with the transition by telling him when you are about to come there. Another idea is to play with him for a couple minutes before getting right in the car. So it's not such a sudden change.

emberlee3 · October 2013

Totally normal. You could try to take a few minutes to figure out how he would prefer to transition. For example, DD screams her face off if someone (daddy, grandma, DCP) tries to take her from my arms. However, if I tell her "Go with Daddy, he's going to read you a book!" and hand her over, she usually goes without a fuss.

At that age, DS liked to show me some things in his classroom before we left. DD never hugs me when I get there, she just makes a bee-line for her cubby and grabs her bag. Every kid is different!

DiveFrog · October 2013

Transitions really are difficult at this age. DD is almost 17 months and cries and throws fits about basically any change she doesn't initiate.

Being taken form one room in our house to another, if someone leaves, if we have to leave a family members house or the library or store, if she is handed from one person to another without her asking for it, if she has to stop what she is doing for a diaper change, when it's time for a bath, time for bed. She's happy to go 'bye bye' but then cries about getting in the car seat.

90% of the time it is a short outburst and then she is happy and settles into the new situation. 10% of the time she throws a massive tantrum that can last 20+min.

I don't take it personally. Just imagine how difficult it must be to be lacking good communication skills and have basically very little control over your life.