Bad job situation

kleigh926 · October 2013

This is probably more of a vent than anything, but I would really appreciate if you could send some thoughts and prayers our way about DH's job situation. He has been working at his current company for a little over a year and a half. It is an extremely unprofessional work environment- DH is disrespected and treated unfairly daily. He is in a management position and has had people who work under him and on the same level as him yell at him, cuss him out, tell him what he's doing is a waste of their time, etc. He has spoken to his superiors about these people and is told, "Oh that's just how they are, ignore them." He says he has never seen or heard of such unprofessional attitudes.

He got his bachelor's degree and engineering license during the first 2.5 years of our marriage so that he could get a better paying job in his field, and so far it hasn't paid off. He is very discouraged. He's applied for tons of jobs and only got two calls/interviews so far- the first one was at a place he had previously worked and we thought he was a shoo-in, so it was pretty devastating when that didn't work out. The second interview we are still waiting to hear back from, but he is not optimistic since HR scheduled the interview for a time when only 1 of the 3 interviewers were available- he didn't even get to talk to the lead engineer who they told him to ask for.

Anyway, last night I was literally in tears because of all this. I hate seeing him so unhappy. If he wasn't the sole source of income right now I'm 99% sure he'd quit and get a job ANYWHERE else until he could find a FT engineering job. And I'm terrified that one day he's going to snap and just quit on the spot without another job lined up (which I wouldn't really blame him for, but what the heck would we do financially?!). It's just a bad situation. Thanks for listening/praying/thinking about us!!

tamarar5 · October 2013

What type of engineering does your husband do? Is there any way he could get to the engineers conference coming up in Florida? I forgot what it's official title is but it will be in the beginning of November if that helps. My dad is also an engineer and has meet several headhunters there and received many job possibilities from there. Don't know it that will help but I'll keep sending T & P too!

CamMyMan · October 2013

Oh friend, I could have written this post! My husband was, until recently, working for a horribly unprofessional company where he was under-paid, under-utilized and under-appreciated. It was really hard for me to see him so unhappy and knowing there was nothing I could do to help him. He was in a bad mood all the time and stressed. It got to the point where he was already cranky by saturday afternoon just knowing that he had to go back to work on monday. I would get so frustrated bc he spent so much time and mental energy angry about his situation. It was just a horrible cycle. He had been applying and sending out resumes for over a year and he finally finally FINALLY landed a new job at a large reputable company in our area. He went from a management/supervisory position at his old company to an inside sales job, so its a step down in role but also a risk bc his salary will be largely based on commission. We knew it was his opportunity to get his foot in the door at a great company.

I know I'm not offering anything that helps but I just want you to know you are not alone! It is really a difficult position to be in as a wife, especially for us bc we both work very part-time schedules so the brunt of financial burden falls on our hubs. I get it!!

kleigh926 · October 2013

Thanks for the kind words, ladies

His degree and license are in mechanical engineering, however he has done some civil/architectural design work in the past, and currently he is doing more project management than actual design engineering. So the job itself isn't even what he would like to be doing, but it would be tolerable if the people he worked with weren't so terrible.

@CamMyMan, I know what you mean about being in a bad mood all the time. DH goes through phases- sometimes he's miserable, other times he is able to control it better and get himself in a better mood at home. I know seeing DD really cheers him up when he gets home. By early Sunday afternoon, he starts getting depressed again about the week ahead. I just wish there was something I could do... I've even considered going back to work FT so that he could quit, but that isn't feasible since I'd want to be back at home once he got a job, and it wouldn't be fair to my hypothetical employer to have the intention of quitting soon after I start. It just sucks

kelly321 · October 2013

That sounds like a really tough situation, I hope he can find a job that makes him happy soon.

PhieryBFly · October 2013

My husband and father both work for an engineering firm. There will be a MASSIVE wave of retirements at the end of the year (at this company at least) due to benefits and tax codes. So, have him work on his contacts and keep an ear out around the new year. Companies may suddenly be in need of his skills and he could go somewhere that better appreciates him!

jkuhmann · October 2013

@kleigh926 - Is he familiar with AutoCAD? If so, he should definitely check out their site for job openings in the testing department - Autodesk hires real-world engineers to test the product. No computer software experience required. My DH works for Autodesk and loves it. He started as a tester and just got promoted to a manager. It's a great company to work for and they have offices all over.

kleigh926 · October 2013

Yes, he's actually been using AutoCAD since he was in high school. That's his favorite program and the one he is most proficient with. We'll have to look into that, thanks @jkuhmann!

wifeofadam · October 2013

((((HUGS))))

I was there with DH a few years ago. He was so so unhappy in his job, but there weren't any viable alternatives out there for him and we needed the income. His stress was starting to bother him at home, he was irritable sometimes with me and the kids, and overall it was starting to drive me crazy. We prayed and prayed about it and eventually, there were some management changes at his job and he was given a little more freedom. Finally, this past summer he took a new job that pays more and is closer to home.

My advice for you is to pray about it. Stay faithful and God will provide either the patience and wisdom for your DH to tolerate his current situation and/or a better opportunity.

In the meantime, as a wife, I feel like when you are at home and your DH is dealing with nothing but stress at work, the best thing we can do is try to make the home environment as stress-free as possible for him. Pamper him and make his home life feel like a sanctuary that helps him escape the stress of his day. A little foot rub at the end of the day goes a long way to pull him back into family mode and help him not to release his stress on the family

I'll be praying for you guys!

kleigh926 · October 2013

Thank you so much, adamwife. I feel like I pray about this situation constantly.... this must be what "pray without ceasing" feels like, haha. I also had the thought of trying to make home life as stress-free as possible for him. I've been helping out with what were typically "his" chores (he doesn't have many, since I'm home all the time), such as walking the dog and taking out the trash. I also try to give him some alone time to do the things he enjoys. Thanks again for your advice and prayers!!

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