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Working Moms
beejayzgirl
member
Making weeknights suck less
beejayzgirl
member
in Working Moms
Any tips?
I have an 8 month old. By the time I pick him up from DC and get home, it's 5:30. After bottle-washing and maybe throwing a load of laundry in (while he sits in his PNP), diaper change and pjs for both of us, it's 6:15ish. Then I try to get some food into him and we play/cuddle for about 15 minutes. So now we're talking 6:30-6:45. DH is coming home by then and the two of them play for a bit while I prep and cook dinner, taking us to 7-7:15. Then DH and I eat while DS is in his bouncy seat - 7:30ish. By now, DS is getting cranky since bedtime is approaching. So I scarf down my dinner and get the bath ready. Bath and bed - 8-8:30. Flop down on the couch, too exhausted to do anything more than zone out to The Voice for 30 mins before I crash in to bed. (I get up at 5am every morning to workout, pack bottles, lunches and make it to work on time.) This just suuuuucks. I barely see DS in the morning since I'm rushing around getting ready, then at night it seems like I get to hold him/play with him for a whopping 15-20 minutes before I have to cook dinner and start getting him ready for bed, all the while his mood is heading downhill. How do you all handle your after work routine? Is this the norm? Maybe I just have to suck it up. Or hire a personal chef/housekeeper 
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Re: Making weeknights suck less
I would absolutely save bottle washing and other chores for after bedtime. Do you need to do bathtime every night? I know it relaxes some babies, but you can usually get by with every two or three nights if they're not honestly dirty. We usually eat dinner after DD goes to bed - I cook while DH does bedtime. (Though it helps that at 8 months, DD's bedtime was 6:45 or 7, so eating dinner afterward wasn't crazy late - like it is now, when we eat at 8 or 8:15. The flip side was that we had even less time with her in the evening than you do.)
Sometimes I'll eat a snack before I leave work so I'm not starving when I get home. It doesn't get any easier as they get older because they will demand to have your attention after being away from you all day. It's easier to get stuff done without a toddler hanging onto your leg, trust me.
Edit: What does your DH do to help out?
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Save bottle prep until after LO goes to bed.
Make easy dinners or double batches so you can reheat leftovers.
Pack up everything including bottles and lunches the night before.
It does get better. Be thankful for a bedtime that late. DD was going down at 6:30 at that time.
If you eat when DH walks in the door you'll be done by 7 or so. Then skip baths every other day and you'll have over an hour some nights to hang out before bedtime.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
- Buy more bottles, run them through dishwasher. Or at least wash them when he is asleep. 10 extra minutes for together time.
- I'm confused - why do you change him into PJ and then do dinner/bath and change again? Doesn't that require too many changes? Just change the diaper when you get home - or better yet, ask the staff at the daycare to change his diaper 10 minutes before your pick up time.
- Don't feed him separately (unless he is starving). You can eat all-together as a family. At that age he is probably not eating that much anyway. And he is more likely to be interested in food when you are also eating. Personally the family dinner works really well for us, we always eat all-together.
- If you have a hard time fitting in dinner and bath before he gets super cranky consider switching bath and dinner. Bath is quality time (assuming he enjoys bath) and you can play with him while he splashes and then have dinner and straight to bed. I know some people don't do bath for kids every day. That's another option.
- Definitely try to not cook every day!!! I usually cook twice a week with enough left-overs to last us the full week. Then each day it takes just 10 minutes to heat things and set the table. Also freezer meals, crock-pot meals are alternatives.
- I have just switched from getting stuff ready in the morning to packing everything the night before. Yes, it sucks to do when I'm exhausted. But it takes only 15 minutes and makes my mornings much more pleasant.
You've got good ideas. Here is my input/what we do:
1) When you get home, just spend time with LO playing or maybe prepping dinner with LO playing on the floor or in a jumparoo or in a carrier while you talk to him. Dinner should be EASY. 20 minutes or less of prep/cooking time. 30 at the most. Freezer meals and easy meals are your friend. You can do this and be healthy. We are vegetarian/almost vegan and we do it. We then eat together. We aim to be eating by 6:30 PM. We spend 30 minutes eating together. Some days, if we're pushed for time, we'll eat after LO's bedtime, but that is not my preference. Other days, if we're just having leftovers, we'll use that 20 - 30 minutes alotted prep time to actually go for a walk as a family!
2) Give up the morning workout unless you really love it; figure out a way to work out during lunch or just on the weekends.
3) I take LO up to go to bed at 7 PM. While you put LO to bed (I'm assuming you do this - if yoru DH does it then switch this up), DH does bottles, laundry and cleans up from dinner. This will still be going when I come back downstairs (I am usually back down from bedtime around 7:30/45) and I pitch in w/ bottle and daycare prepping for next day. Once this is done, it is usually 8/8:15. We make tea or have a glass of wine together on the couch and watch TV for 45 minutes to an hour (usually a show on DVR or something). Upstairs at 9 pm, lights out by 9:30 pm. I'm still up 2 - 3 times/night with LO so I value that early bedtime. Our alarm goes off at 6:30 am and we both shower and get ready before LO wakes up- around 7/7:15. DH leaves for work and I get LO ready and take her to daycare - we leave the house at 7:45 am. DH does pick up at 4:45 PM, is home by 5 pm, and I try to be home by 5:30 pm.
It's a whirlwind, but I have found that cutting out anything that isn't totally essential and planning well makes it not so bad and I get some time to play/hang out with LO and with SO.
Oh, and hire a cleaner. In my opinion, it's almost a necessity. I realize it's not in everyone's budget, but it's worth giving up a lot to me to have someone come clean my house twice a month.
Here are my suggestions: Cook once; eat twice. Try to make a few of the nights really simple on meals and heating up left overs.
When you get home, sit on the floor with a glass of wine and a small snack for yourself like a piece of cheese. Play with your LO and just relax.
If you need to cook dinner, put your LO in a high chair in the kitchen with her dinner. She can eat her food while watching you cook and "talk" to her. You can also come by and give her a scoop or two.
Put your LO to bed and then you and DH eat. Bedtime should be more like 6:30 or 7. You'll then feel like you have more of an evening and time for your DH and yourself.
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