Wedding Gift (Not Baby Related) — The Bump
January 2014 Moms

Wedding Gift (Not Baby Related)

For bridal showers I always buy a gift off of the registry, for the actual weddings, we always give cash. Our standard gift for friends is $100, family and very close friends get a larger amount. I am just wondering if I should be giving more, or if this is an acceptable amount. I realize that this will probably vary from individual to individual, depending on everyone's circumstances, but I am hoping that some ladies who have been married recently can give me some type of idea of what the "average" gift amount is.

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Re: Wedding Gift (Not Baby Related)

  • I think that's perfect.
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  • We live in a higher cost of living area (most weddings we've been too have been between Philly and NYC), so we generally do a $50-60 shower gift off the registry and $200 in a card for the wedding.  
  • It depends, we got married in 2012, and in our envelopes received cash amounts from $20-700 depending on the family member's ability. The average amount was probably around $75-100. 

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  • We usually give $200 if husband and I attend the wedding/reception, $100 if we are just sending a gift and not attending the wedding.

  • I had about 100 people attend my wedding last year. I think only one couple gave less than $150 per couple, which seemed to be the standard. 

  • We live in NYC so I think its a little inflated, but we usually give $250- $300. However, the standard is to cover the cost per head, whatever that may be. I also think that every guest may have a different financial situation and may only be able to afford half that or even less and that is perfectly OK.

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  • Oh wow. We do $50. Apparently we are cheap - but it's what we can afford :)

    We got married in early 2011 and I would say the average we got in cash was $20-50. If people bought items off the registry, some gifts were higher.

  • I think this definitely depends on what part of the country you live in.  I live in the Pacific NW and when we got married 3 years ago I would say that most people (besides grandparents, aunts & uncles) gave $75-100 and I felt like that was generous.  As for the covering the cost per head I think it makes sense in that in high cost areas the going wedding gift amount is probably much higher but I would never feel obligated to "cover my plate".
    Your standard gift/money combo sounds like it makes sense for where you are at and I don't think you should have to up it at all!

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  • Showers I usually spend $50-$75 off the registry. Weddings are cash or a registry gift around $150 (very close friends and family get $200).

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  • It depends on so much; where the wedding is located, how much the couple spent per plate, your relationship to them. If they're friends and live in an average area (cost of living) and you reckon that they spent less than $50/head, $100 is great.

  • kteesweikteeswei member
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    edited October 2013
    at least the approximate cost/person for the venue with the additional amount being based on relationship.  

    Edit: that said, I also think it is understood you will pay what you can afford and shouldn't be expected to cover costs if you're if money is tight.  
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  • We usually give about $250 as a couple. Plus $50 as a shower gift. If the couple has a lot of high end items on the registry I buy presents and try to get something on sale (I am most proud of the 800 $ gordon ramsay pots that I found for $246!) I think the cover your plate idea is a bit silly because if I am invited to a $400 / plate wedding that's their money not min e.... but $100 per person is too low these days.
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  • $100/person is too low?! I'd stop going to weddings if that' was the case as I'd end up bankrupt.

    I base it on how close I am to the bride and groom for the most part but also take into consideration how much I can afford.

  • we got married may 2012 and we got an average of 50$ from non family (even some family) 
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  • Wow, I'm cheap.
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  • We got married 8/2012 and the average was $50-$100. Some more, some less. We live in a small, rural, area but that's what everyone seems to do. We give $50 to friends, $100 to family.


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  • We just had our wedding, and $100 was definitely the most popular gift. My grandparents gave more, and so did my parents. But friends and other family gave mostly $100, with $50s and $75s thrown in, too. I think that is very generous!
  • Every time a post like this comes up I feel cheap.  For our own wedding we received mostly boxed gifts, which is norm here, but those who gave cash gave between $25 and $100.  Most were in the $50 range though.  I honestly don't ever give cash because I feel like I can get more for my money if I shop around for a gift on sale than if I just give cash. 

    Luckily we are kind of past the wedding stage as most of our friends are married and neither of us have a lot of cousins left to get married either. 

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  • We live in a higher cost of living area (most weddings we've been too have been between Philly and NYC), so we generally do a $50-60 shower gift off the registry and $200 in a card for the wedding.  
    That's almost exactly what we do too. (We live in MA)


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  • I think your gifts are absolutely fine.
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  • I take into consideration the relationship we have with the bride and groom and location of the wedding. I always try to cover the plate and give something extra. I would say DH and I give a standard $300 for acquaintances, and more for family and friends.
    I have a savings account for my brothers and plan to give them a lot more than I would normally give to out at weddings but that's also because of the close relationship we have.

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