DH Family Vent (because it's fun)

kmornelas29 · September 2013

Today I took my DD to a bridal shower at my DH families house.

A lot of family was there, but also a lot of friends of the mom whose daughter is getting married.

I have NEVER met any go her moms friends, so you'd think they would have some boundaries for a strangers daughter, but they had none!

My DH is Egyptian, and culturally there family is very kissy n' huggy, which is something that I am NOT. When I see my own family we say hi n bye while walking in and would only hug n kiss if someone wanted to, but never a forced act of affection. My DH side is the exact opposite, which causes tension.

They get their feelings hurt n find it disrespectful if you don't go to each n every person to hug n check kiss each person. Not only to say hello, but to say goodbye as well. It's waaay to much for me, but as an adult I do it out of respect for his family n what they do at their family events.

When it comes to my 6 month daughter I feel completely different! I feel that when a child can consent to hugs n kisses then give it to them, but it should never be forced. If they want to they will. Then it's genuine. But don't make them.

So, at the bridal shower, my DH family kept grabbing her out of my arms, passing her from person to person, and kissing all over face. For me, that's for mommy n daddy m put immediate family only!

When I handed her to someone I felt comfortable with people would take the baby from them! Then they would go show off the baby to strangers that would touch her.

So, here is the topper of the day. Some random lady who I never met comes in the room, puts her stuff down, and grabs my baby from my DH aunt. After taking her she looks at me and goes oh I hope you don't mind. Trying to maintain my cool, I say okay just please don't walk away with her so I can see her.

When my daughter starts crying I get her to calm her n walk away. Fast forward 2 hours, when my DH dad takes her to walk her around outside. The same lady I took her from earlier grabs her out of her grandpas arms, and starts Eskimo kissing my daughter while her friend takes pictures!

I looked over and had enough! I went to grab her, and the lady had the nerve to tell me no, and hold her tighter. I told her to give me my child n walked away. She then through her arms in the air like what's her problem!?

I called my DH and told him what happened and he was just as livid. He gets mad at his family for being overbearing as well.

As an adult I cave to their ways a bit, but as her mom I feel they need to respect my ways with her a bit more. I get they mean no harm, but the constant having my daughter ripped from my arms, strangers touching her, kisses all over face is way too much for me.

Someone even went as far to tell me my daughter needed to sleep in the bed in the other room cause she can't sleep in loud noises. Are you kidding me!? I know my daughter better than anyone, and I know where she can and can't sleep.

Later on my DH called his mom to express his concerns with the situation and she said were over protective. No, I'm not over protective. I just don't like strangers rubbing their germ face on my 6 month old!

They are great n nice people, but they don't get it! I even created a "pretend tag game" on Facebook called parent peeves n listed my top ten, so they would read it and get it, but still didn't get the hint.

I just couldn't imagine taking someone's baby I didn't know, walking away, give it Eskimo kisses, and tell the parent no when they went to get their baby. Pushy much? Ergh.

Anyone else? Thanks for the vent!

Signed,
Crazy mama bear protecting her cub

PS next event she will be in a wrap, so nobody can take her!

Mrs.Castaldi · September 2013

I can't believe she told you no!! I'm pretty much right there with you. We just had a visit from my sister and her family. She's a pretty heavy smoker. As an adult I put up with it cause I hardly see her.

She tried to be nice by getting everyone out of the house and taking LO for a walk. DH texted me while they were all out that he was about to go ballistic on her when he came out of the grocery store and she was pushing the stroller WHILE smoking!! She was so dense and DH didn't want to make a scene so he just took over pushing.

Then she would tell me I was being over protective whenever I would take away anything that fell on the ground so I could wash it.

Mrs.Castaldi · September 2013

britt1430 said:

Mrs.Castaldi said:
I can't believe she told you no!! I'm pretty much right there with you. We just had a visit from my sister and her family. She's a pretty heavy smoker. As an adult I put up with it cause I hardly see her.

She tried to be nice by getting everyone out of the house and taking LO for a walk. DH texted me while they were all out that he was about to go ballistic on her when he came out of the grocery store and she was pushing the stroller WHILE smoking!! She was so dense and DH didn't want to make a scene so he just took over pushing.

Then she would tell me I was being over protective whenever I would take away anything that fell on the ground so I could wash it.
That smoking incident would have made me furious!!

I must be overprotective too because I wash everything that hits the ground. My little dude puts everything in his mouth so dang right it's getting cleaned. Plus, we have cats, sometimes cat hair is blowing around-wet toy + cat hair = eeeeewwww.

Yep!! We have a cat, that's why there is no "5 second rule" it touches the floor it gets washed.

kmornelas29 · October 2013

Mrs.Castaldi said:
I can't believe she told you no!! I'm pretty much right there with you. We just had a visit from my sister and her family. She's a pretty heavy smoker. As an adult I put up with it cause I hardly see her.

She tried to be nice by getting everyone out of the house and taking LO for a walk. DH texted me while they were all out that he was about to go ballistic on her when he came out of the grocery store and she was pushing the stroller WHILE smoking!! She was so dense and DH didn't want to make a scene so he just took over pushing.

Then she would tell me I was being over protective whenever I would take away anything that fell on the ground so I could wash it.

I would be upset too!

Unknown · October 2013

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kmornelas29 · October 2013

Bliss+Berry said:
As I stated in your duplicate post on 6-9 months, I think you completely overreacted. This was a party with family and honestly, you need to learn to let go.

Edited for clarity.

For clarification, it was a bridal shower, so family was there, but so were a zillion others I've never met.

The person rubbing their face in my child's, without asking permission to even hold her, was one of those zillion strangers!

If a women in the supermarket grabbed your kid and did that I don't think you'd be okay with it?

To top it off, I don't think any parent overreacts in a situation where the parent asks for their child back and the stranger tells them no!

That's just me though. To each their own.

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