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November 2013 Moms
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Guilty or not?

lafsalotlafsalot member
edited October 2013 in November 2013 Moms
We are having a couple shower this Saturday at the request of my hostess, she asked for a list of names for the guests and I gave her a list that DH and I came up with. We struggled with FIL, neither of us wanted to invite him because he is so inappropriate at times, but he would be hurt if we didn't and he found out there were guys there... So we out him on the list. The invites do not say and guest... Just addressed to who was invited. He was over for dinner and to get his stuff out of our basement, and he asked if he could bring a guest, DH asked who and he smiled like a Cheshire Cat, I said if it is X then No thank you. He wanted to bring a girl the same age as his grand daughter who is flighty and a mess! The shower is about the baby and he is concerned about having a good time with a girl that he shouldn't be around period!!! I find it inappropriate. Anyway, I was pretty direct about my no, started to think I should have just kept my mouth shut but, I don't want her there. I was off put by his even asking... So should I feel guilty or is it ok to say no a 70 something man should not bring a 20 something girl whom I'm not fond of to the baby shower?
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Re: Guilty or not?

  • gwennehgwenneh member
    Talk to the hostess and let her handle it. Ultimately, she's hosting the party and you're technically a guest -- the guest of honour, yes, but a guest. 

    And don't feel guilty about it; if you're not fond of her then you're not fond of her!
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  • chatita_78chatita_78 member
    Uhhhh you're totally justified. This is your event not a rager party. It's a baby shower to celebrate your LO. If he doesn't like it... OH WELLLLL!
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  • babymama619babymama619 member
    Kudos to you for standing up and saying no. He'll be fine and so will she. There are a lot of posts on here with people asking "how do I handle such and such" and the best advice is always be straight forward.

    Honestly, maybe he'll be pouty and not even come himself, and you'll have a double win!! Enjoy your shower.

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  • jaymayhattonjaymayhatton member
    Ugh that grosses me out. I think you handled it just fine. I hope you have a wonderful, stress free baby shower!
    Me: 28 yo | DH: 28 yo
    Married 2012
    DD: 3 yo
    TTC #2 August 2017
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  • lafsalotlafsalot member
    Thank you ladies! I confirmed with DH that he was on the same page and neither of us want her or find the friendship or anything else appropriate. So no more twinges of guilt for being adamant about not allowing her. It seemed odd to ask to bring a date to a shower anyway... If it was a relationship it might be different but him wanting to entertain himself, just seemed wrong to even ask.
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