Overwhelmed

Sept07b2b · October 2013

Anyone else feeling a little overwhelmed? I absolutely LOVE my children, and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I'm finding it to be a particularly difficult time. I don't know if it's the ages of the children or whether it's my job that's become more difficult lately or what it is, but I'm really struggling to find a balance. It feels like from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, I'm sort of running around doing something, and it never seems to be something that I want to do. Since I work full-time, I feel like I should spend every minute I can with my kids, but that doesn't leave any me time.

Do you find time for you? If so, how? And if you don't, do you wish you did? Or am I alone in needing some me time? Do you find time for things like shopping for new clothes, etc.?

Sept07b2b · October 2013

It's definitely good to hear that I'm not alone. @Starbuck128, it sounds like you have a LOT going on!!! That totally sucks that your DH works such long hours even though he doesn't really need to! Why don't they feel guilty like women do!? I will NEVER understand that! I work full-time, and if I have to stay later than usual I feel absolutely HORRIBLE!!! I literally sprint out of here every day as soon as I can! I just don't get how men don't have that same urgency!

I do wonder if it's an inherent male selfishness or if it's something we women sort of set up or if it's a societal thing or what. I look back and wonder if it's really tied to breastfeeding. I breastfed both kids, so I was always the one "tied" to them or tied to a pump or something and could never be away for longer than an hour or so. I wonder if that's when they get conditioned that they can still do what they want when they want to.

I will say that my DH is VERY good about dividing the responsibilities. He works from home, so he does a lot of the household things, so on a day-to-day basis, things are divided pretty evenly. What I have trouble with is the weekends. DH has season tickets to college football, so most saturdays he is gone ALL day for tailgating and then the game! This amounts to 8 saturdays in the fall. I don't have an inherent issue with this because I am supportive of him doing something he enjoys and seeing his friends, but the problem is I don't get a turn. It's not that he would necessarily say no if I asked him for a turn, it's a matter of the guilt I would feel being gone for so long, and I know he would consider it a huge favor, and I'm never sure it's worth "putting him out" for it. I also feel stupid being like, can you watch the kids so I can run to the mall to go shopping or so I can take a nap or something?! For some reason that seems like a stupid reason to be away from the kids.

I am getting together with some girlfriends for the first time in like a year. We opted to go out to dinner on a Saturday night. I was really hoping I would finally get a night off from dealing with the nightly craziness in my house, but no, all of them have kids too and none of them feel right leaving their kids with their husbands until the kids are in bed, so we're meeting at like 8:30 for dinner!! It's just crazy to me!!

Have you found anyone who could babysit? What about looking for a mom's day out program or something in your area. Have you and your DH been out on a "date?"

DaizyMay22 · October 2013

I'm totally overwhelmed too! I feel I go all the time and when I do sit I'm immediately getting asked for this and that so I have to get up again. DH is good to help when he's home but he's been working alot of OT so we can get our debt paid off ( a decision we both agreed to) its the little things that wear on me like taking DD potty every time she asks just in case she really does have to go, or once sitting down to eat as a family having to get up 3 or 4 times during a meal to make sure the kids have what they need/want or getting up in the middle if the night to sing a song just so she'll go back to sleep. DH doesn't think I those things being a big deal for me to do. In the scheme of things its not but day after day it gets old.

jmccall79 · October 2013

Being a single mom, I'm extremely overwhelmed!!! I work 40hrs a week and have to take care of Ian. It's not exactly the life I would've chosen but I think I'm way better off than being with my ex. I would've been "doing it all" even if I was with him...that's the way it was for the 7 months I was with him after Ian came along. I don't get to pass off bed time to anyone...I don't get to pass off bath time to anyone...I don't get to pass off laundry to anyone...I don't get to pass off changing a diaper to anyone...it's all on me and that's very stressful! It has it perks though...I don't have a SO/H to have to tend to at the same time, lol! Don't get me wrong, I love Ian to death and wouldn't change our situation, for what we had. I'm glad we're where we are. However, it would be nice to have a moment...to just get away for a bit...to be by myself without having "something" to do. He goes to bed fairly early but the last thing I want to be doing when he goes to bed is all the things that need to be done, but that's when I get stuff done and it kind of sucks. The thing that helped me the most was not trying to do it all at once. Pick one thing to do each day. So, maybe Monday is laundry day. Tuesday is maybe clean the bathroom day. Wednesday is vacuum day. You get the point. And I try not to stress the small stuff...if I get all the clothes washed but they don't get put away for a day or 2, oh well. At least we have clean clothes. It really is about trying to find the balance, which can be really hard and I've been on the verge of breaking down for a few months now. I need to find time to get away and do something for myself...that isn't 'chore' related. I hope you're able to find some peace, even if it's only for a brief moment.

laura.noel · October 2013

I've been feeling that way since school started this year. I just can't seem to stay on top of things. Work can't wait, and Josh can't wait, so the house work has fallen way behind, and me time is gone. I have gotten to go out a couple of times, because I am in two weddings this month (one was this past weekend, and one is the last Sat. in Oct.), but that isn't really for me, either, really. Like Starbuck, I would also love to have time to see a therapist (for anxiety in my case), but I get anxious at the thought of trying to fit a regular appointment into my schedule. Unless I can find someone who will see me at 8:00 at night....

nebraska84 · October 2013

laura.noel said:

I've been feeling that way since school started this year. I just can't seem to stay on top of things. Work can't wait, and Josh can't wait, so the house work has fallen way behind, and me time is gone. I have gotten to go out a couple of times, because I am in two weddings this month (one was this past weekend, and one is the last Sat. in Oct.), but that isn't really for me, either, really. Like Starbuck, I would also love to have time to see a therapist (for anxiety in my case), but I get anxious at the thought of trying to fit a regular appointment into my schedule. Unless I can find someone who will see me at 8:00 at night....

I am feeling the same way, and I am 'glad' to hear that I am not alone. I am a teacher and I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water. Each day is such a scramble to get done and through the day, I feel like I am being a pretty crappy teacher and co-teacher. My team is so understanding but I feel like I need to fly out the door the moment I can because I have over committed myself. I also coach cross country at the high school. On days I go to practice I see LO about 90 minutes before bed and that makes me feel like a crappy mom. AAARRRHHH...I Know this will pass and things will calm down. But I think it is time to start editting my life and cutting things out. I am not have same committments I had pre-baby especially since LO #2 will be here in 4 months! Thanks for letting me get this off my chest...

Overwhelmed

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