April 2014 Moms

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!! (Vent long)

I went to a Christian book store to pick up a 365 day mothers prayer book for my sister who is due in November. (She's been begging me for this book) as I'm reading a few different books they have, a older man was standing there in the aisle with me and I had my daughter with me, he says how beautiful my daughter is and asked how old she was. (She's 3 and a half) he looks at me and asked how old I was and I said I was 20. Then he looks at my belly.. And says "your pregnant with your second?" I said yes I'm 14 weeks.. He looks down and starts praying for me and my children (not a big deal) as he's done praying he looks to me and says "there are better options for your children. You can put them up for adoption and they could have amazing life's" at this point I left the store without even getting my sisters book. Ran to the car and started crying. I was so upset that a stranger would assume my children won't have good life's because of my age. I just can't believe someone could say that because of my age. Needless to say my day sucked because of that one comment. My children are well taken care of and will never go without. People never stop amazing me with there judgements

Re: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!! (Vent long)

  • Wow, that's awful. People can be so rude.
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  • That is insane! I am so sorry that happened to you! What a jerk!
  • I know I'm still in shock
  • Thank you guys.. I was just so hurt and shocked that was said to me.. Now that I've thought about it more I'm starting to realize I shouldn't have cried for it but it hurt at the moment
  • That is terrible, what a rude and judgemental thing to say. You know your babies are loved and that you are providing a good life for them.

    Maybe use this as an opportunity to think about how you want to react to this sort of rudeness in the future. For example, if a stranger outright asked me my age I would tell them it's none of their business. I know it's easier to think of things to say after the fact, but there is no harm in practicing sticking up for yourself and thinking assertively for when some asshole gets out of line.
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  • Don't let idiots steal your joy.

    I couldn't have said this better myself.
    Sage advice.
  • Ugh people are so rude! When my sister was pregnant with my niece, they lived in Hawaii, and people were constantly asking her if she was going to keep the baby. She was 26/27 and married. So weird. Sorry you had a crappy day. Age has nothing to do with being a good parent!

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  • I will not say the first 10 things that popped into my head when I read this. I will not. I will not. I will not. 

    SMH.

    I"m so sorry for that man's ignorance, sexism, and judgement towards you and your children. 

    Fuck him.

    I am now forcing myself to leave this thread before I totally go postal on all the things WRONG with what he said. 


    Catherine
    Wife, Mother of 4, and expecting again at 39!


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  • Wow! Who do people think they are?? What a total jerk!
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  • Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. In my head I'm thinking I would have been so mad I might have yelled at him but in reality, I probably would have walked out and cried too. How hurtful. He doesn't know you. Or your situation. Don't let him get you down.
  • Mean people suck. That is all I can say.

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  • What?!?!!! I am so sorry. That was incredibly rude and judge mental of him. People always assume that because someone is young and pregnant that they won't do good as a parent. I'm currently not speaking to my dad or his wife because they "don't like my situation". They seem to think that because I am 22 and not married that I won't be able to do well for my baby. As much as it hurts I just laugh it off because 1: I have decided my baby just won't be around them and 2: I know they'll feel like complete idiots when I prove their judgemental asses wrong. My mom trusts that ill do an amazing job as a mom and that's good enough for me. If you know that your little girl is treated well and you'll do the same for your baby don't let anyone's judgemental comments upset you. Just take it as one more small mined human being. I hope you feel better soon
  • A truly lovig mother (regardless of age) can provide the best environment for her children. Forget that ignorant jerk!
  • I don't understand how people could be so rude! Looks like he's the one who needs the prayers
  • So sorry you have to go through this.  What an awful thing to say to someone.  
  • What a jerk! People never fail to amaze me, but don't let that get you down :)
  • This literaly makes me sick. It just drives me nuts to see "christians" bahave this way! I kind of walked away from going to church andfollowing the bible years ago because i dont believe in that way. i am 24 not married and pregnant. i still believe i am a good person and i still believe in god and i believe he still loves me and accepts. No one can judge you except for you. I just dont believe that a real christian would judge someone like that and degrade someone like that. It is horrible to see that! weare supposed to accept everyone and not judge anyone as good christinad yet it seems that so many "christians" judge and do not accept those who are different...its just sad. i am sure i will start to get the un friendly comments once i start to show and i dont have a wedding ring. you are way more graceful than i am though because i would have let that man have a piece of my mind. Keep doing what you are doing because you are doing right for your kids and no one can love your kids more than you and no one has the right to tear you down like that! keeo your head up! and just know that man was no real christian, and god is probably not happy that he did that.

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  • Wow!  I am blown away by that.  I'm sorry someone was so beyond rude and ignorant to you like that. 


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  • Man, this is what gives Christians a bad name.  That is NOT a Christian opinion that that man expressed, no matter how well-intentioned he may have thought he was being.  Take heart that plenty of us Christians are proud and supportive of you for having the determination and will to be a good mother, and at such a young age!   

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  • Wow, christian store or not he would have heard an earful from me! That was rude. 
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  • Thank all of you for the postive comments. Today I feel better and I know that it was just a rude comments. I love all of you ladies. Thank you so much
  • I have raised children since I was nineteen and I don't believe age determines a good parent. What matters is the love and the quality time spent with them! Of course meeting their basic needs is a must. I just want you to know that being a parent automatically subjects you to others judgements of you. People love to criticize parental choices. It is so annoying but the truth is you should hold your head up high and take it all with a grain of salt. That guy had no right to say those things but its his problem not yours. You are an amazing mother because you choose life for your kids. Many women don't. Hang in there and remember this will happen again when you will endure rude comments regarding your choices. Just know its their issue not yours....best wishes and sending hugs your way....
  • I saw this today... Just a helpful quote for all of us moms..keep doing what your doing and continue to be good mothers
  • Wow judgey McJudgerson, screw him. You're young and perfectly capable I am sure.
    Jesus my MIL was done having her children by the time she was 22 and no one batted an eye at her.



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  • As everyone said, he was just a judgmental idiot.

    I want to add though that I am 21 and though our society says we aren't ready or "old enough" according to the culture of the last few years 1) women used to start having babies at 12 and somehow our race survived. If a twelve-year-old could delivery a baby in a log cabin and then raise a baby with no running water or electricity, I think mature and capable young women like us will be just fine ;) lol 2) my mom was 21 when she had me and though there were down sides to the situation, I am much closer with my mom and we have a lot more in common than she does with her mom. I loved having a fun, young mom. It was one of the best parts of my childhood and I greatly look forward to having the same kind of relationship with my child!

    Best of luck to you momma! :)
  • Ugh, hun I'm so so sorry. I can't even imagine how painful it must've been to have pretty much your whole life devalued, and by such a tactless, graceless person. It's truly incredible to me how some people can call themselves Christians, then behave in a way that is so dishonoring to Christ. Just like a pp said, please know that there are people who love and live for the Lord out here who do love you and don't condemn your situation and think that it's incredibly brave of you to sacrifice this time in your life so that your babies can be loved by their mama. Good on you, love, I'll be praying for you.

    Just to clarify for everybody, in 1 Corinthians the Bible does tell Christians to judge *other Christians* for the purpose of encouraging each other away from sin (it's so easy to justify or be blind to our own sin, so it's an accountability thing), but the same passsage makes it clear that Christians are not to condemn non-Christians because (basically) the rules are not totally the same for Christians and non-Christians. Unfortunately, people tend to go too far one way or another and are either Judgy McJudgersons who everyone hates being around or are too afraid to take a stand for a lot of things in the names of "love" and tolerance. Whew this got long! Sorry!
  • Rogue237 said:
    Wow, isn't Christian 101 not to judge others? What a jerk - next time, start praying for him right back that God heals him of being an asshole. 
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  • Worse part is, I am sure he has no idea there was anything wrong with what he said.  I am so sorry he upset you so much.  You know there is no logic in him saying those things to you and he obviously has zero common sense.  As someone else wrote, don't let him steal your joy!

     

  • God picked Mary to have Jesus when she was 13-ish. Just sayin'.
    2014-08-24 15.36.57-2  2014-08-23 17.20.12
    2014-08-24 15.22.00  2014-08-20 12.19.26
      
    Fell in Love: January 2003 
    Married: May 2006
    Baby Girl Born: April 2014
    If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you: 
    I am here to live out loud!
  • The things I would have said to that asshole would have probably gotten me kicked out of the store and I'm 30. Don't let small people bring you down sweetie, sorry you went through that. 
      
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