Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
beejayzgirl
member
Re: Making weeknights suck less
I would absolutely save bottle washing and other chores for after bedtime. Do you need to do bathtime every night? I know it relaxes some babies, but you can usually get by with every two or three nights if they're not honestly dirty. We usually eat dinner after DD goes to bed - I cook while DH does bedtime. (Though it helps that at 8 months, DD's bedtime was 6:45 or 7, so eating dinner afterward wasn't crazy late - like it is now, when we eat at 8 or 8:15. The flip side was that we had even less time with her in the evening than you do.)
Sometimes I'll eat a snack before I leave work so I'm not starving when I get home. It doesn't get any easier as they get older because they will demand to have your attention after being away from you all day. It's easier to get stuff done without a toddler hanging onto your leg, trust me.
Edit: What does your DH do to help out?
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Save bottle prep until after LO goes to bed.
Make easy dinners or double batches so you can reheat leftovers.
Pack up everything including bottles and lunches the night before.
It does get better. Be thankful for a bedtime that late. DD was going down at 6:30 at that time.
If you eat when DH walks in the door you'll be done by 7 or so. Then skip baths every other day and you'll have over an hour some nights to hang out before bedtime.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
- Buy more bottles, run them through dishwasher. Or at least wash them when he is asleep. 10 extra minutes for together time.
- I'm confused - why do you change him into PJ and then do dinner/bath and change again? Doesn't that require too many changes? Just change the diaper when you get home - or better yet, ask the staff at the daycare to change his diaper 10 minutes before your pick up time.
- Don't feed him separately (unless he is starving). You can eat all-together as a family. At that age he is probably not eating that much anyway. And he is more likely to be interested in food when you are also eating. Personally the family dinner works really well for us, we always eat all-together.
- If you have a hard time fitting in dinner and bath before he gets super cranky consider switching bath and dinner. Bath is quality time (assuming he enjoys bath) and you can play with him while he splashes and then have dinner and straight to bed. I know some people don't do bath for kids every day. That's another option.
- Definitely try to not cook every day!!! I usually cook twice a week with enough left-overs to last us the full week. Then each day it takes just 10 minutes to heat things and set the table. Also freezer meals, crock-pot meals are alternatives.
- I have just switched from getting stuff ready in the morning to packing everything the night before. Yes, it sucks to do when I'm exhausted. But it takes only 15 minutes and makes my mornings much more pleasant.
You've got good ideas. Here is my input/what we do:
1) When you get home, just spend time with LO playing or maybe prepping dinner with LO playing on the floor or in a jumparoo or in a carrier while you talk to him. Dinner should be EASY. 20 minutes or less of prep/cooking time. 30 at the most. Freezer meals and easy meals are your friend. You can do this and be healthy. We are vegetarian/almost vegan and we do it. We then eat together. We aim to be eating by 6:30 PM. We spend 30 minutes eating together. Some days, if we're pushed for time, we'll eat after LO's bedtime, but that is not my preference. Other days, if we're just having leftovers, we'll use that 20 - 30 minutes alotted prep time to actually go for a walk as a family!
2) Give up the morning workout unless you really love it; figure out a way to work out during lunch or just on the weekends.
3) I take LO up to go to bed at 7 PM. While you put LO to bed (I'm assuming you do this - if yoru DH does it then switch this up), DH does bottles, laundry and cleans up from dinner. This will still be going when I come back downstairs (I am usually back down from bedtime around 7:30/45) and I pitch in w/ bottle and daycare prepping for next day. Once this is done, it is usually 8/8:15. We make tea or have a glass of wine together on the couch and watch TV for 45 minutes to an hour (usually a show on DVR or something). Upstairs at 9 pm, lights out by 9:30 pm. I'm still up 2 - 3 times/night with LO so I value that early bedtime. Our alarm goes off at 6:30 am and we both shower and get ready before LO wakes up- around 7/7:15. DH leaves for work and I get LO ready and take her to daycare - we leave the house at 7:45 am. DH does pick up at 4:45 PM, is home by 5 pm, and I try to be home by 5:30 pm.
It's a whirlwind, but I have found that cutting out anything that isn't totally essential and planning well makes it not so bad and I get some time to play/hang out with LO and with SO.
Oh, and hire a cleaner. In my opinion, it's almost a necessity. I realize it's not in everyone's budget, but it's worth giving up a lot to me to have someone come clean my house twice a month.
Here are my suggestions: Cook once; eat twice. Try to make a few of the nights really simple on meals and heating up left overs.
When you get home, sit on the floor with a glass of wine and a small snack for yourself like a piece of cheese. Play with your LO and just relax.
If you need to cook dinner, put your LO in a high chair in the kitchen with her dinner. She can eat her food while watching you cook and "talk" to her. You can also come by and give her a scoop or two.
Put your LO to bed and then you and DH eat. Bedtime should be more like 6:30 or 7. You'll then feel like you have more of an evening and time for your DH and yourself.
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