Confession: I don't feel anything!

lopezalonso · October 2013

I expected to feel much more connected to my baby by now (18 weeks) but I still don't feel anything! I just started feeling the flutters but it is still very light. I have an appointment in 2 weeks for the anatomy scan and I'm hoping that seeing the baby again and knowing the sex will help me feel more connected. I feel kind of guilty :-/ ... has anyone else felt this way?

kcanuck · October 2013

Don't worry about it. It will come!

I had a very hard time feeling connected to my son when I was pregnant. I had 5 losses prior, so the whole time the idea of actually taking home a real live baby seemed super foreign.

Even when was born (or surgically extracted, if you will

) I felt very surprised to have this little critter to care for. I would say we bonded around month 3 when he started smiling at me and things got a bit easier. And now that he's a toddler I can't get enough of him. I am head over heels with the little booger.

Everyone gets it a little bit differently. Some fall in love while the baby is still on the inside, some feel instantaneous love, some of us need to get to know them a bit. But you will bond, and it is really as good as everyone says it is.

codeaard · October 2013

I'm with you. This is number 2 for me and I've been feeling a lot of guilt. This wasn't a planned pregnancy so it was a big shock and there has been lots of panic and stress, unlike with DS were I was so excited from the start. I'm hoping once I know what this little person is, I will feel more connected.

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memali26 · October 2013

You're not alone and you have nothing to feel guilty about! I honestly forget I am pregnant sometimes. Not that I am any less excited for this baby than I was for the first two, but I think I'm just still wrapping my head around it's existence. We were still negotiating if we'd try for #3 when we got a surprise BFP, so it just hasn't quite sunk in or begun to feel real yet.

I've started feeling movement over the last week and our anatomy scan is in 3 weeks, so hopefully more movement and finding out the sex with make it seem more real for us.

luvmybundle · October 2013

Sometimes i feel like i'm not bonding like i should be. This baby wasn't planned and i'm stressing already over being a single mother. i rub my tummy and talk to it, but honestly i think i'm just rubbing a fat bloated belly! i go for my 16 week checkup soon and i'm hoping that i'll feel more attached after the a/s. add to the fact that i just don't feel pregnant, i just feel like i've gained weight. makes bonding a little difficult but hopefully that'll change soon.

LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · October 2013

Some people don't connect until birth. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with you. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Your connection will come

Aleglz11 · October 2013

Felt like this in the beginning. I had 2 previous losses, so w this one, I didn't want to get too excited or attached...
At almost 5 months now, i cant help it.. but You will feel it later!

PinupMomma08 · October 2013

When they start rolling around in there is when I connect! It will come!

coreyeliz · October 2013

I'm really glad you posted this. I feel the same way, and I feel so guilty. I haven't felt any movement at all, and I'm hoping that is a big emotional moment for me. My mom says things to my stomach like, grandma loves you already, and I think how can that be. It makes me wonder if something is wrong with me, but reading these posts makes me feel so much better. It's comforting to know we're all just on our own timeframe I guess.

angelsnight · October 2013

It's normal. At 18 weeks you're still very early for a FTM and if you're feeling flutters now, you likely won't feel real kicks and movement until about 20-22 so you've got a little while yet. For me, when I found out the sex last time it all became real. She was suddenly a person with a name, it'll happen, just be patient.

ceh789 · October 2013

Feeling the same way here. I haven't felt any movement at all yet - in the evening I often lay on my bed after dinner and try and see if there's anything and there's just nothing. I also use my doppler most nights - most nights I google the HB vs placenta sounds because I still don't feel like what I'm hearing is really a baby. I'm *very* excited and wanting to get ready for her and such - but it's more like someone else is carrying her at this point - I feel less pregnant than I do fat, achy and constipated.

Mcsweets · October 2013

We've had SO many ultrasounds - and I think that's why I feel semi-connected to the babies already. Without these, it still wouldn't feel real.

Nadeau Photography · October 2013

I think its different for each baby too. With my first I felt zero connection when I was pregnant, but then fell head over heels the moment he was born. The second I felt more connected throughout the pregnancy, but didn't have that "bam" moment of love at first site like I did with my first. Now this baby still doesn't feel real (18+ weeks, still not feeling movement), so I don't feel any strong connection yet...but hoping that'll come once I start feeling him/her and we find out the sex next week

Kristen61607 · October 2013

With my twins I didn't really feel connected until they were born, then I was head over heels. After I saw them in person, I could put a name to a face, etc.

Don't get me wrong I loved feeling them move, loved ultrasounds, and loved them when I was pregnant, but it was sort of hard to really "know" them until they are born.

linsmarie31 · October 2013

I am feeling the same way. I don't 'feel' pregnant. maybe its just me, but I think women assume that there will be this 'euphoric' pregnancy feeling and I don't think it really exists.

i've had 2 ultrasounds, i've heard the heart beat and I've seen the baby, we know that we're having a little girl....I still don't really feel anything. the flutters are too few and too far between. I've felt this way the whole time, but I think my hormones are raging right now and its really starting to get to me.

I hope this feeling changes and passes soon! You're not alone!

lopezalonso · October 2013

Thanks everyone! Sounds like not feeling connected in the beginning might be more normal than I thought! I do love the baby. I'm also working hard to get as much done as possible before the baby arrives. I've been very distracted and overworked lately... aaa the life of a grad student!

linzerd · October 2013

18 wks today and feel the same way.

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