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Toddlers: 24 Months+
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Are you a yeller?

daisydaisy23daisydaisy23 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
I have been struggling with this a lot lately.  My 2 year old is your average 2 year old...active, happy, mischievous, etc. and generally a well behaved kiddo.  But, he can be very challenging especially around bedtime/naptime.  Won't lay down, won't stay in bed, etc.  In the last few weeks I find myself yelling at him more and more during these times.  Not screaming bloody murder or anything, but raised voice pretty loud.  It's frustrating because I don't WANT to be a yeller.  But I feel like he doesn't listen otherwise.  Often when I yell it's the only time he'll finally lay his head on the pillow, but even so I don't like that I had to resort to that.

So, are you a yeller?  And if you're not, what are your tactics for keeping your voice down but still getting your toddler to listen?
-DS #1 due 7/1/11, born 7/7/11
-m/c Feb 2013 at 4w6d
-DS #2 due 12/24/13, born 12/11/13
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Re: Are you a yeller?

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I really try not to but yes, sometimes I get frustrated to the point I yell. I hate it and feel worse about it afterward than he does! When I find myself getting worked up I make a conscious effort to step away and catch my breath but sometimes I just break. I know it happens but I do feel bad! You're definitely not alone, these toddlers really know how to try a person's patience.
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  • fancynewbeeslyfancynewbeesly member
    By nature I am not.

    I am a teacher though, and through many years of teaching found that yelling is less effective then my stern "teacher voice."

    I always tend to get better results kneeling at their level and actually using a "quiet" voice. 

    I definitely think I would have been more of a yeller if I wasn't a teacher though---I use to raise my voice A LOT in the beginning and found that it wasn't working. 

    However, now if I raise my voice--because it is so rare it does get the desired effect. 
      image
    My daughter is my hero.
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  • dairygirl19dairygirl19 member

    Not really. But like PP, it's the overtrained teacher thing. ;)

    I do a lot of getting on their level, looking in their eyes etc. I also whisper when I'm upset (even at work) and it works so much better than yelling, mainly because they have to stop their own screaming to hear.

    I've also learned if I find myself starting to yell too often, there's something up with my kid I need to look into. It's not in her personality really to have to be yelled at (easy-going by nature). So once I start I need to think about why she's acting up and that helps me solve the problem better than more yelling.

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  • daisydaisy23daisydaisy23 member
    I'm glad I am not alone.  I think this is noticeable for me because I NEVER raise my voice to DH.  I don't think we've ever had a yelling fight in 6 years of marriage.  However, I did used to yell at my younger brothers when they didn't listen to me.  So I feel like I'm resorting to childish behavior...lol.

    I appreciate all the tips, especially from you overtrained teachers.  :)  I need to keep working on it.  I know part of the issue is that he just transitioned to toddler bed 3 weeks ago, and hasn't quite gotten the "you need to stay in bed" thing yet, but it does get frustrating when I've been trying to get him down to sleep for 90+ minutes.  Le sigh.
    -DS #1 due 7/1/11, born 7/7/11
    -m/c Feb 2013 at 4w6d
    -DS #2 due 12/24/13, born 12/11/13
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