Miserable and feel guilty about it — The Bump
May 2014 Moms

Miserable and feel guilty about it

All my excitement has slowly dissipated :( I could not wait to get pregnant and could not have been more psyched when I got a positive test! But now I am so miserable (not depressed, just miserable) it's hard to be excited and a feel bad about it.

I have felt like crap for two weeks straight between morning (all day) sickness and now a raging UTI. It's hard to get off the couch, or even eat. I am doing nothing around the house which means my DH is doing everything. He is not complaining but I feel bad I can't help out :(

I feel like it's never ending and I'm only just coming up on 8 weeks. I am really looking forward to enjoying my pregnancy but so far no such luck.

Wondering if there are other moms to be in the same icky situation :/



Re: Miserable and feel guilty about it

  • melissamellomelissamello
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2013
    Morning sickness and exhaustion will make anyone miserable, don't get down on yourself about it. I've been crabby lately too and wish I could just sleep my days away because of how sick & tired I feel. It will get better though. You have the right to feel cranky right now. Once 1st tri passes I hear it gets better, and hopefully you can start to enjoy being pregnant.
    Together since 2/4/05 :: Married since 10/6/12
    Parents to a furbaby named Moosey
    BFP: 8/20/13   EDD: 5/2/14
  • Yes my all day sickness has kicked in and I feel miserable. I'm finding myself longing for 2nd tri when I know I will feel better but not sure how I'm going to get thru the next 5-ish weeks :(

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  • You're feeling awful... who would be psyched?  Remember, it's still early.  Just because you're not feeling all excited right now doesn't mean you won't after the m/s goes away, or when you can feel the baby move, or when you tell more people, etc. etc. etc...
    Met my soul mate October 2011 ~ Married August 2012


    BFP September 2013 ~ Our baby boy is due May 2014

  • I know exactly how you feel. I think I have an extra layer of guilt I've put on myself too. After having 2 losses, I thought I'd be ecstatic to have symptoms and know that things were progressing. But I have been absolutely miserable for almost 4 weeks now. I just hit 10 weeks, and yesterday was the worst day yet!

    You're definitely not alone, so don't feel guilty! Hopefully we all get some relief in 2nd tri and can really start to enjoy!  
    BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d 
    BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
    7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
    1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
    Hoping Third Time's a Charm!!- IT'S A GIRL!!!! 

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  • Hang in there, mama! I feel the same way...
    Charlotte June, Born May 29, 2014
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  • Once we make it through the first trimester it will get better(I hope). I have been feeling major guilt, too. I hate making my husband do so much because he is super busy and I'm not working. I feel like crap and barely get anything done. I suck!
  • I've been feeling bad because I feel so crappy I just want to lay around and it makes me feel bad i'm not playing with DD and DS as much as I should... I keep telling myself this will be over soon and once I  hit 2nd tri I will feel better and we will be telling people, along with moving so I know things will look up soon! 

    We are just surviving right now, things will get better soon :)
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  • You are not alone. Hopefully being miserable will pass quickly and you can begin enjoying being pg. DH and I talked about him stepping up and taking over more things around the house and his response - you keep on growing a life inside of you and I will happily do everything around this house :). Your DH probably feels the same way.

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  • Couldnt have said it better myself! And hubby has been so supportive, I feel even worse. I told him how I felt lazy and horrible and he told me im just tired because im making a baby, not to worry about it. Only 3.5 more weeks of this I hope.
  • I feel exactly the same way. I want this baby soooo bad but I seriously wish the whole story with the stork arriving at the door was how things went. This is miserable!! I feel guilty too but I'm going to say we shouldn't dang it!
  • I get upset and frustrated over how my body is changing . I just want to go from looking bloated to actually bump like. I'm used to being incredibly fit ie flat tummy and I've always worked hard to be like that. Obviously that can't happen with pregnancy even though I keep working out I know ill still get that bump which is fine but man the I feel fat bloat! I keep telling myself it's the baby it's beautiful but it's hard. My loving hubby is amazing telling me how gorgeous I am bc he knows I've always struggled with body image. Needless to say I feel ya on the guilt!

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  • Yep. But second tri is awesome! It will get better.
    BFP#1 11-26-10 MMC 1-13-11
    BFP#2 6-8-11 Eleanor Beatrice born 2-15-12
    BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14

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  • 2nd tri is much better... Hang in there :)

  • I'm the same way. I really wanted to do something for DH and then he got cut with the furlough so that made money tight:( Once I don't feel like crap I plan to make him his favorite meal.

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  • I'm right there with you. I broke down cryin yesterday cause my DH has been taking over all the cleaning duties and yard duties while I just lay here and sleep in between re-runs of Bones. Luckily my DH is extremely understanding and not at all resentful.

    I have people tell me to try to get up and walk but everytime I move from down stairs to upstairs I feel more sick. I can't wait for this part to be over!

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  • I hate being pregnant. I hate the sickness, the fatigue, the aches and pains, the weight gain, the giving birth part, all of it. The only good parts are the kicks. And I don't feel a bit guilty. I don't love my child any less than women who adore pregnancy. For me it's an unfortunate means to an end that I just have to get through to have my children. But the only part I'm looking forward to is meeting my new baby and holding him or her at the end.
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    DS - 2 years old
  • What you wrote sounds EXACTLY like me! I was elated to be preggo after a loss earlier this year.I am almost 9 weeks, and I feel like total crap. Nauseous and queasy ALL the time, can't go to the store, don't have energy, don't have an appetite at all, and I used to LOVE food. I'm a total foodie so this is hell for me. I try to be excited but man does this suck sometimes. I just keep telling myself that today I am pregnant. These are healthy pregnancy signs amd I should feel lucky (which somedays is wayyy harder than others). I hope you feel better soon. Just know you aren't alone in this. Best wishes on a healthy pregnancy!
  • Don't worry mama! I think were all in the same boat. I've been getting random nausea throughout the day (if it's really bad ask your doctor about zofran.... It's the only thing the docs give and it really does work!) I've been getting the worst mood swings and getting frustrated and irritating about everything.
    I feel horrible that the hubby has been helping so much more without me asking and I don't even have the energy to make him dinner after i get off work. Hang in there. I hear that the 2nd tri is SO much better!
  • I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will get better. I promise. Hang in there!

  • This is my last pregnancy and I was determined to enjoy every minute. I forgot that I was sick to my stomach 24/7 from week 3 to week 14 with my 3 boys. Add to that killer headaches and vomiting (which I managed to mostly avoid previously) and I am counting to days to week 14 (3 weeks 4 days). I did feel a little flutter last week (NOT gas) which was the perfect reminder of why I'm putting myself through this, again.
  • I'm there with ya.  I'm currently at work and the only thing I can mostly accomplish is putting my head on my desk to keep from throwing up.  Ugh.  Come on second tri! :D
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  • I could have written that about my first pregnancy.  It DOES get better, but it's a lot to wrap your head around, especially when you feel sick all the time.  Don't let how you feel now color your pregnancy later.  It's ok to feel miserable. 

    Married DH 7/30/11

    CSC arrived 5/7/12 

    CHC arrived 6/2/14

  • I'm with you, it's so hard to be happy when you feel like absolute crap.  But don't beat yourself up about it - you hate the sickness, not the baby :)
    BFP#1 4/1/2013 - EDD 11/28/2013 - M/C 4/19/2013
    BFP#2 8/24/2013 - DS Born 4/20/2014

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  • i'm also tired of feeling crapola. i feel like i owe it to DH to be the most fun i can be in the 2nd tri. our home has turned into a hole recently though. DH is very messy and although i've asked for help, he's not too forthcoming. he's done the dishwasher a few times and kept most of his clothes off the floor, but i've not been up to cleaning the bathroom for a couple of weeks. it's horrible. i can't wait until i've got enough energy to give the whole place a deep clean!



    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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