Hitting & Hair Pulling :(

Re: Hitting & Hair Pulling :(

• cpmich member

  October 2013

  How are his verbal communication skills?
  
  Watch Daniel Tiger on Netflix the Daniel gets mad episode and work to help him develop some self calming skills. There is also a nice "use your words" episode.
  
  Teach him that if he wants to play with someone it is nicer to say hi and ask if they want to play. You might be surprised how many kids hit other kids at that age because they want to play with them and just don't know to ask instead.
  
  Other than that, just be consistent and model the behavior you want to see. Stay calm, let him know it is unacceptable and make it an immediate time out or departure from wherever you are. Could take up to a month depending how often it happens and you need to correct it.
  
  Do not yell and whatever you do, don't spank him... You are trying to teach him to stay calm and not hit, spanking sends mixed messages that it is only ok to hit people weaker than you. Not saying you spank, but anticipating you might get old school advice from older relatives.
  
  By the way, you will get horrified glances when this happens in public. In actuality, this is actually pretty common. It is an awful awful stage, but more common than you might think. Oh, don't forget to be on the lookout for common triggers like hungry, tired, stressed due to new school, move, baby, etc...

  

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• lolinshag member

  October 2013

  @cpmich good advice!
  OP: My DD is doing this right now. She tells you to "hush" and "sit right there" and then swats her hand at you. I finally figured out it was coming from daycare. She is trying to mimic the teacher who swats the table. So maybe your tot is mimicing another person in their life?

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• meg1974 member

  October 2013

  My DD does this, but not when she's made. She does it playing around, which makes it even harder to stop. She doesn't even seem to realize that it hurts (even though other kids have done it to her).

  
  

  I don't really have any great advice, other than TV shows (Daniel Tiger is great, as is Yo Gabba Gabba) and books. 

  
  

  GL!

  
  
  
  
  

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• daisydaisy23 member

  October 2013

  My DS went through a hitting stage when he was about 16-20 months old.  It was about a 4 month period and as some pp have said, I think it was related to his verbal skills (or lack thereof).  He really did not start coming out with many words until he hit 24/25 months so I think when he was a bit younger, he would get frustrated with his lack of communication and strike out at others.

  
  

  It was SUPER frustrating (I dealt with my fair share of moms that were totally not understanding and reprimanded me for having a son who hits...not fun), but every time it happened I immediately pulled him aside, calmly told him we don't hit, hitting is not good, etc.  I felt like I wasn't making any progress but then suddenly 4 months later he stopped the behavior.  And his language followed soon after. 

  
  

  Hang in there momma, just keep reinforcing that hitting is no good and the lesson will catch on.

  -DS #1 due 7/1/11, born 7/7/11

  -m/c Feb 2013 at 4w6d

  -DS #2 due 12/24/13, born 12/11/13

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