What forms of discipline do/will you follow?

ClandestineX · October 2013

Another controversial thread. Just wondering what types of discipline people believe doing here. If you have older kids, you can say why it helped or why you choose to do this or that.

Oh and just want to add, I know the time for discipline is far off, just want to see where everyone's mindset is at.

shadysladyWed98470 · October 2013

What's special snowflake?

ClandestineX · October 2013

melandjames14 said:

I have a "plan" of what I think I'll do for discipline but won't be bold enough to say that's all I'll do until I've experienced a disobeying child. I also think it's partially dependent on the personality of my child.

I agree! I was spanked as a kid probably less than 4 times before I realized when they said stop doing something or something I did was wrong.. I listened. While a cousin of mine was spanked over and over and over and did the same stuff... so obviously being hit wasn't the right discipline for him. Each child is different.

@ShadysladyWed98470 - Anything I did not list or a mix of some I listed is considered special snowfake..

JordynLeighx3 · October 2013

As a FTM, I don't know. What I do know is that I will not use physical gestures to make my point.
I will find what works otherwise and use that, not sure what category I will fall in as of now.

fireflyz56 · October 2013

I think time outs are a good idea and will try that. I also like the redirecting idea others mentioned here, and talking it out when they are older. Having been someone who was spanked (and worse), I will not do that to my daughter as I believe it only instills fear and/or resentment in the child.

ClandestineX · October 2013

cece2682 said:

This is tough because I would choose multiple options. I chose time outs, but I will also have discussions and not sure if ill spank. I don't disagree with a little slap on the hand, but as I sit here thinking about it, I don't think I'll be doing much spanking. Puts my stomach in knots. My parents spanked, and they even had a wooden paddle with all our names on it hung on the wall! Lol it was more of a threat than anything, but my siblings got hit with it because they were naughty. I was an angel because I healthily feared(respected) my parents. I will say that I hate when people discipline in public. And If they spank in public- I can't even. Remove your child from the situation. I don't need to witness that nor do you need to humiliate your child like that. It's inappropriate. Sooo with all that being said, I'm a time outer, discussions haver for the most part. I'm not completely against spanking, I just don't know if I would. And what the heck is a time in!??? Lol

I actually just heard it in my cousin's FB page.. I guess it is making your child sit right next to you instead of being alone on a time out. Lol

tondraluv · October 2013

melandjames14 said:

I have a "plan" of what I think I'll do for discipline but won't be bold enough to say that's all I'll do until I've experienced a disobeying child. I also think it's partially dependent on the personality of my child.

I agree! I was spanked as a kid probably less than 4 times before I realized when they said stop doing something or something I did was wrong.. I listened. While a cousin of mine was spanked over and over and over and did the same stuff... so obviously being hit wasn't the right discipline for him. Each child is different.

@ShadysladyWed98470 - Anything I did not list or a mix of some I listed is considered special snowfake..

I literally had one Spanking ever in my life & I remember it vividly. All you had to do was yell at me & I learned my lesson. MH on the other hand received a lot of them. We will use a combination of punishments like time out, taking away certain items, & spanking if necessary.

suedell · October 2013

The book magic 123 was recommended to us by our pediatrician. It's been very helpful with our 3.5 year old. I rarely even give time outs anymore because I just count and he stops. We do more choice giving now that he's older - ex: you can wash your hands now or before we eat, etc. either way the hands get washed but he feels more in control.

ToAoShesha · October 2013

My plan is a mix: redirection, choices , time outs, removal of situations and yes punishment. That being said I think the most important part is positive reinforcement! Reinforce the hell out if the behaviors you want (harder because those are the calm relaxing times) but better in the end. I do believe in a light spanking/punishment in certain situations ie if their actions could harm them self or someone else. But in most cases I think their is a better option.
But also like PP I think each kiddo is different & my techniques will have to work with their personality.

08summerbride · October 2013

I can already tell that my 1st and 2nd have personalities at total opposite ends of the spectrum, so I may need to employ totally different tactics this time around. I think regardless of what form of discipline you choose, follow through is the most important part. If they figure out that you aren't going to follow through, no form of duscipline will be effective. It is very hard to be consistent, and sometimes comes at a sacrifice to your time and energy, but so important in the long run.

NicoleSB80 · October 2013

ClandestineX said:

melandjames14 said:

I have a "plan" of what I think I'll do for discipline but won't be bold enough to say that's all I'll do until I've experienced a disobeying child. I also think it's partially dependent on the personality of my child.

I agree! I was spanked as a kid probably less than 4 times before I realized when they said stop doing something or something I did was wrong.. I listened. While a cousin of mine was spanked over and over and over and did the same stuff... so obviously being hit wasn't the right discipline for him. Each child is different.

@ShadysladyWed98470 - Anything I did not list or a mix of some I listed is considered special snowfake..

Ditto all this. I'll do whatever is necessary for my child to learn.

Mandmeesh · October 2013

I like the positive reinforcement and ignoring unwanted/negative behaviors. I've become a master at it after working with adults and children with intellectual disabilities. I will not spank/hit, etc.

JSS1002 · October 2013

Holy shit- am I supposed to have thought About this already? I think we will be in the "uh, this is what is expected of you and we won't introduce another choice" camp.

Lhyacinth888 · October 2013

We do time outs with my 2 year old. I always said I would NEVER spank my child. But I have definitely had to swat my DS' s hiney but its last resort. When my 2 year old is old enough to have discussions we'll do those along with taking away privileges or grounding. I say that now but I have no idea how I feel when they are teenagers and what kind of kids they'll be!

Kate_C · October 2013

At DS's age (2), redirection is usually most effective. He's typically naughty when he's bored, tired or not feeling well. But he is a very strong willed kid so the limited choices to give him some sense of control over his world is also helpful. I suspect DD will be much easier given her easy going personality thus far.

It's funny - when DS started in daycare, there was a 2 year old little boy who was kind of a pill with the attitude, tantrums, etc. I judged on that kid's parents.... And now I have that kid. Whoops. Toddlers should be a separate species.

EIsieMae · October 2013

suedell said:

The book magic 123 was recommended to us by our pediatrician. It's been very helpful with our 3.5 year old. I rarely even give time outs anymore because I just count and he stops. We do more choice giving now that he's older - ex: you can wash your hands now or before we eat, etc. either way the hands get washed but he feels more in control.

We've been using 123 Magic with my 2 year old and have had great results also.

arschm02 · October 2013

It's really quite impossible for me to say what sort of discipline I will use for LO as I think it is a trial and error process of what works for each individual child. Bu, you bet your ass I will discipline my child if he does something naughty or mean though. I can't stand children who don't have respect or boundaries. Regardless of what method I choose to use, I intend on talking about the situation/behavior after the discipline is given so he understands why he got the punishment he got and then always following it up with a hug. I want him to know that even though I was upset and that his behavior may have been wrong, HE is still good and I will love him regardless.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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AnnieJar · October 2013

We use time outs with our 3 and a half year old. I also put certisn toys on "time out" (take them away if he's being too rough, loud, etc). We also talk things out, when it's appropriate for the situation and his developmental level. And we use "cool downs" which means removing him for the situation before he's actually committed an offense but we can tell that one is inevitable because he's worked up.

I find that giving choices and also warnings ("potty break In two minutes" or "you can go down the slide two more times and then it's time to leave") also helps to prevent a lot of melt downs.

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