Homeschooling Support

Ritzy19 · September 2013

What do your families/friends think of you homeschooling? Have you had any negative reactions or feedback from people close to you?

Ritzy19 · September 2013

My own parents and FIL are very supportive of our homeschooling. My friends were surprised when I told them we planned on homeschooling, but have come around to the idea I think. At least that pretend like they have. ha! When I first told one friend, she said to me something along the lines of "do you really think you're qualified to do that?" and it completely offended me. I graduated both HS and college with honors, I think I can manage teaching my own children K-12 material.

I'm lucky enough to have met a neighbor that homeschools her children as well. Her 2nd child is the same age as my oldest and I'm hoping they can become closer friends. The neighbor his wonderful and a great resource, so I'm very blessed in that area.

wifeofadam · September 2013

We've had pretty positive responses from most of our family members. DH's aunt HSed her four kids with amazing results - they ended up going to a private high school but were so far ahead of their peers they won all sort of scholarships and stuff. I think because of that, DH's family can see the academic benefit of it. DH's family is also very religious, so I think they like that we are HSing for that reason too.

My family's reaction was a little less enthusiastic. They support us, but have also challenged us on some things. We get the socialization debate a lot at family gatherings.

Our most vocal challengers have been extended family members and those young parents who currently have their children in public school. I think that when some people hear that you are homeschooling, they think you are implying that they are bad parents for choosing to put their kids in public school. Those people immediately get defensive and want to start a debate. It's the same with extended family members who work in the public school system. They feel like you have something against what they do. I try to make sure to let people know that this is a choice we have made for our family and that I realize it isn't right for everyone, but still people seem to get offended.

This is why I rarely bring it up unless someone else asks. The older I get, the less energy I have to debate this topic. During the preschool years when people tried to give me a hard time for not putting my kids in an actual preschool I would get all fired up and try to debate. Now I just don't care to waste the energy.

The worst confrontation I ever had was with my sister's in-laws at a birthday party for my nephew. When her MIL heard that I homeschool, she came up to me out of nowhere and starting asking me "What makes me qualified to teach my children?" She's a former school teacher who I could tell was passionate about what she did and I think didn't like the fact that I, without a teaching degree, think I can do the same job she did. It was not a comfortable situation at all.

Ritzy19 · September 2013

Adamswife - what an uncomfortable situation. What did you say to the woman?

tamarar5 · September 2013

I'm lucky that I was homeschooled growing up, so my parents are extremely supportive. Or at least, now that we have started they are.

A few weeks ago, my mom flat out told me that while she supports homeschooling, she didn't think that I should homeschool DD because I was too "overwhelmed" with the new baby, working p/t, and finishing my master's program. My reaction was like "WHAT?" What could possibly make my MOTHER think she knew how over or under whelmed I might be?

Luckily, now that we have actually started, she is singing a completely different tune.

As far as the rest of my family, they're used to our brand of "crazy." Other than my mother's 2 brothers (both teachers), I've had no resistance from them. Also, now that I'm nearly finished with my Masters in Education, both my uncles are supportive of HSing too.

DH's family is a little more reserved. I think they've just accepted the fact that I'm the "weird" relative who cloth diapers, makes my own baby food, and does all those other "weirdo" things. Thankfully, DH is fully on board and he won't take crap from his family about any of our (MY) decisions.

That isn't to say I'm not getting resistance from the community...

calimama2007 · September 2013

DH has been the most resistant. MIL had her midlife crisis aka teenage years since she turned 39, so they wouldn't care if we let the kids eat candy and go crazy all day with no school at all.

I didn't really tell my parents, just started doing it, mom offered to host a Halloween party for our "playgroup" last year, and I told her it's mostly homeschooled children. So we eased into it.

That being said, bc of my other life experienced, I really just don't GAF about what other people think about my parenting decisions. My DD is incredibly impulsive and energetic, and I just could not see her sitting still in a classroom with 27+ other kids. She needs to be outside, and exploring her academic interests.

Luckily, the area we live in has a HUGE homeschooler community, and local science museums even have hs classes, so it's not as much of a novelty. We recently found out our neighbors that we rarely see homeschool as well!!

wifeofadam · September 2013

Ritzy19 said:

Adamswife - what an uncomfortable situation. What did you say to the woman?

I was sort of stunned. I told her that I have graduated college and we're talking about Kindergarten right now, so I think I can handle it. And that there is no one more qualified to teach my children than their own mother. Then I quickly tried to change the subject.

She came back asking if there is any training that homeschool parents go through in order to learn how to teach their children. I no longer had the energy for it, so I sort of ignored it and changed the subject.

honkytonk_kid · September 2013

+adamwife+ said:

Ritzy19 said:

Adamswife - what an uncomfortable situation. What did you say to the woman?

I was sort of stunned. I told her that I have graduated college and we're talking about Kindergarten right now, so I think I can handle it. And that there is no one more qualified to teach my children than their own mother. Then I quickly tried to change the subject.

She came back asking if there is any training that homeschool parents go through in order to learn how to teach their children. I no longer had the energy for it, so I sort of ignored it and changed the subject.

I can imagine how uncomfortable that was. I think (some) teachers are offended by homeschooling because it feels like parents are saying "How hard could it be?" or minimizing their training and hard work. But the difference between teaching your own kids and teaching 30+ children whose home life you don't know and have no control over is vast. I am probably NOT qualified to teach a classroom of kids, but my own- yes.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · September 2013

TamaraR4 said:

DH's family is a little more reserved. I think they've just accepted the fact that I'm the "weird" relative who cloth diapers, makes my own baby food, and does all those other "weirdo" things. Thankfully, DH is fully on board and he won't take crap from his family about any of our (MY) decisions.

That isn't to say I'm not getting resistance from the community...

I am known as that person from my family too. I'm such a weirdo for not feeding my kids crap and wearing my babies.

calimama2007 said:

That being said, bc of my other life experienced, I really just don't GAF about what other people think about my parenting decisions. My DD is incredibly impulsive and energetic, and I just could not see her sitting still in a classroom with 27+ other kids. She needs to be outside, and exploring her academic interests.

-Dd1 is the exact same way.No way that she could do it.

I'm sure my BIL will end up saying something. MIL totally supports us and gets it. My mom... she always makes comments about how dd1 needs to be in school. Then she asks her what she learned in school and is always impressed.

Ritzy19 · September 2013

Thankfully, DH is fully on board and he won't take crap from his family about any of our (MY) decisions.

That isn't to say I'm not getting resistance from the community...

LoL Tamara.

Ritzy19 · September 2013

+adamwife+ said:

She came back asking if there is any training that homeschool parents go through in order to learn how to teach their children.

What a dumb question. If I got asked that, I seriously might throat punch the person. Truth.

Ritzy19 · September 2013

honkytonk_kid said:
I think (some) teachers are offended by homeschooling because it feels like parents are saying "How hard could it be?" or minimizing their training and hard work. But the difference between teaching your own kids and teaching 30+ children whose home life you don't know and have no control over is vast. I am probably NOT qualified to teach a classroom of kids, but my own- yes.

Exactly! Well put.

fancynewbeesly · October 2013

honkytonk_kid said:

+adamwife+ said:

Ritzy19 said:

Adamswife - what an uncomfortable situation. What did you say to the woman?

I was sort of stunned. I told her that I have graduated college and we're talking about Kindergarten right now, so I think I can handle it. And that there is no one more qualified to teach my children than their own mother. Then I quickly tried to change the subject.

She came back asking if there is any training that homeschool parents go through in order to learn how to teach their children. I no longer had the energy for it, so I sort of ignored it and changed the subject.

I can imagine how uncomfortable that was. I think (some) teachers are offended by homeschooling because it feels like parents are saying "How hard could it be?" or minimizing their training and hard work. But the difference between teaching your own kids and teaching 30+ children whose home life you don't know and have no control over is vast. I am probably NOT qualified to teach a classroom of kids, but my own- yes.

That made me laugh. I am a teacher and sometimes I toy with the idea of homeschool--but we couldn't afford it, and I can quite easily teach a room of 18+ elementary school kids, I know I wouldn't be able to teach my own. And many of my friends that are teachers, have said the same sentiment.

honkytonk_kid · October 2013

Starearedkid said:

honkytonk_kid said:

+adamwife+ said:

Ritzy19 said:

Adamswife - what an uncomfortable situation. What did you say to the woman?

I was sort of stunned. I told her that I have graduated college and we're talking about Kindergarten right now, so I think I can handle it. And that there is no one more qualified to teach my children than their own mother. Then I quickly tried to change the subject.

She came back asking if there is any training that homeschool parents go through in order to learn how to teach their children. I no longer had the energy for it, so I sort of ignored it and changed the subject.

I can imagine how uncomfortable that was. I think (some) teachers are offended by homeschooling because it feels like parents are saying "How hard could it be?" or minimizing their training and hard work. But the difference between teaching your own kids and teaching 30+ children whose home life you don't know and have no control over is vast. I am probably NOT qualified to teach a classroom of kids, but my own- yes.

That made me laugh. I am a teacher and sometimes I toy with the idea of homeschool--but we couldn't afford it, and I can quite easily teach a room of 18+ elementary school kids, I know I wouldn't be able to teach my own. And many of my friends that are teachers, have said the same sentiment.

Sorry, you're laughing because you disagree, or because it's interesting to hear different strengths and weaknesses?

fancynewbeesly · October 2013

Laughing not because I disagree--but different strengths and weaknesses. It is just interesting to me. I am actually amazed at homeschool moms because they can teach their own kids. I know I couldn't teach mine, but could teach others

Which is why I honestly couldn't homeschool---as much as I would want to.

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