First birthday registry?

DublinMama · October 2013

So I have a good friend who has a DS born a few months before mine. I got the invite for his 1st b-day party this month. I always like to ask parents beforehand when I go to a kid's party if there is anything they don't want their child to have. For example, my SIL doesn't want her kids having stuffed animals. So I know to avoid those. Some people don't like busy, loud, light up toys. I do this because 1. I don't want to upset anyone and 2. Because I don't want to spend money on something that will get tossed or ignored. My friend e-mailed back and thanked me for checking with her, and then mentioned that she set up a registry at BRU with "some ideas." Is this a thing??? I very much like her, so I'm not trying to be judgmental. But I understood registries to be for bridal and baby showers. Before there was a baby. I can see her ideology. People like me who ask what should/should not be purchased would be able to readily access what she would prefer her son to have. But I also feel like it should be handled in the sort of exchange we had. Casual. "Hey, anything you don't want?" "Just no more clothes or battery operated toys! Thanks!" Maybe it's me. Hence, the post.

Edited for typos.

tamarar5 · October 2013

I've heard of that before but I was kind of incredulous. I didn't think it was kosher either.

wifeofadam · October 2013

I've heard of parents spending more on first birthday parties than I did on my wedding. People make a really big deal out of this stuff, so I guess I can see why they would also have a registry.

First birthdays around here are for the grandparents and aunts/uncles. We hang streamers, I bake a cake, and we call it a day. I really don't get the big deal and why a registry would be necessary?

Puck1182 · October 2013

Yeah, that's a little weird. Like @coffeecream, I've been contemplating making an Amazon with list for DD for my own personal use. I might refer the grandparents to it if they ask, but we certainly won't be including it on birthday invitations!

For other folks who ask, we'll probably give more general guidelines. Clothing for this season in that size, if they get a toy it shouldn't require batteries and they should only get her one toy, etc.

Drea926 · October 2013

Yikes! I've never heard of that before! I guess I can see it becoming a thing though. First birthday parties are becoming crazy! I went to one last spring and there was a pony and a bouncy house. There were a lot of other little kids there so that was nice for them, but the little birthday girl won't even remember!

kleigh926 · October 2013

I don't like that idea. I agree with the PP's that first birthday parties are getting out of hand. Creating a registry and telling people about it seems awfully gift grabby to me.

DublinMama · October 2013

One of my co-workers told me something funny. She said, "The first birthday party isn't for the kid. It's to celebrate that you and your spouse survived the first year and your kid it still alive." Haha! I though that was funny. I am not angry about it (not that anyone implied I was). I know her well enough to trust she is not gift mongering for her kid. I just didn't know if this was some kind of new normal for children's birthday parties. I also have an amazon.com wish list for DS, but it's for my use only. It's just not something I think I would choose offer up to others.

Justinlove · October 2013

I guess I am the odd parent. Not only would I never register for birthday gifts, I beg people NOT to bring gifts at all. Seriously, my kids have moooooore than enough!

downtown80 · October 2013

I have an Amazon wish list for each of my kids. I mostly use it for my own purchases (so I can remember when it comes time for Holidays, birthdays, or other special occasions). Or I will sometimes purchase one of the items when I'm buying something else from Amazon, just to take advantage of free shipping. But I have shared the list with grandparents and aunts/uncles as well.

I do add specific toys or books that are age appropriate that I personally want to buy them. Amazon also lets you free text items into the wish list - so I will add "fall/winter clothes, size 2T" or generic things like "puzzles" or "art supplies", without picking out the exact brand, design, etc. I have even added diapers and wipes on there in the past.

We live no where near our family. Often times when they want to buy something for the kids, they don't know if we already have it. So this help them out. They also enjoy knowing what size clothes to buy.

Our sister in law does this for her kids too, and it doesn't phase me at all!

Karla CS · October 2013

I don't see a huge thing wrong with it, if used as a wish list. How is this any more rude than a wedding registry or baby? Isn't that essentially telling your guests what to buy as well? And no one has to shop from it, they can always go off list.

I think it's actually quite helpful for people who want to buy a gift but have no idea - we recently went to our neighbors for dinner and they pulled out some toys for DD that were the PERFECT developmental age at 7 months... We bought them for her 1 year-old. A wish list would have been helpful.

I think it all depends on how it's presented - you can tactfully direct people towards a wish list or 'registry' or you can also completely butcher it and come across as a gift grabber.

ericalee27 · October 2013

We are also in the "no gifts" club when we have parties...but for the first we really don't do much. Just close family and a cake....

kelly321 · October 2013

Jackigan said:

Oh I thought of it more as a guide for people who don't know what a one year old plays with. If I didn't have a kid, I wouldn't have a clue. I remember having no idea what to get kids for their birthdays before I had one. So I actually wouldn't be bothered by it, and take it more like, "phew! I have a cheat sheet! So helpful!" Plus she didn't give it out with the invitation, she gave it because you asked a question about the gift.

This. Totally.
I have an amazon wishlist for both DDs (and myself), and I send the link to my ILs and anyone who asks at xmas and bday time. I make sure that there are a range of prices represented (from under $5 up to about $40) and sometimes just pick a toy that is representative and make a note of that (for example we wanted a soccer ball for DD1 so I just found one on amazon, put it on the wishlist, and made the comment that any soccer ball would be fine, this was just an example).

I love it when my godchildren or niece has a wishlist because I otherwise have no idea what they like, what they already have, what the parents don't want, etc.

I also agree that since she just sent it to you because you asked about a gift, it was fine.

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