My man is driving me nuts! Yours?

Shikla · September 2013

I feel guilty writing this but my husband is driving me bonkers lately; everything from his (careless) driving to how much cologne he puts on (which makes me gag from my sensitivity) to the fact I am due in LESS than 2 weeks and he has only tonight decided to re-arrange our entire small apartment to make room for a big ugly piece of furniture his friend is giving him (to house his 60 bottles of home-made wine). I feel as though he cannot prioritize nor understand the difference between "wants" and "necessities."

I have been in long-term relationships before, and in fact was married for over 10 years, but never before my husband now did I want to have a child with someone for fear I would be raising two children (a baby AND a man-child). This man I was convinced was different and from the moment we conceived I have been overjoyed...until lately.

I wonder if all of this is my hormones causing me to overreact or if there is real cause for concern.

I am sickened with anxiety at the moment as our place is in a complete disarray and there is no way it will be done anytime soon. I just want to cry.

Ladies, is your man driving you more crazy than usual???

lovelittlebean · September 2013

My husband is also a man child. Sigh. :-<

Shikla · September 2013

I'm hoping if I do sit him down- once i find the couch again under all this clutter- he will understand more and not think that it's a personal attack on him. He tends to get very defensive.

I also hope you're right and things will change once he meets our little bambino.....

JennyCupcakes01 · September 2013

I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a month (roughly 20 days before my EDD) and he has not done ONE thing to clean up his cluttered apartment. He works full time and only has weekends to do any work but he's been putting it off and doing other things. I know it kinda sucks to spend your weekends cleaning so I've offered quite a few times to go over while he's at work during the week and help with the cleanup. But he insists he'll take care of it and won't let me touch a thing. It's incredibly frustrating. AND he hasn't yet taken up on his landlord's offer of replacing the carpet as well.

Weljadraak · September 2013

I don't see the big deal. What is he supposed to be doing? Twiddling his thumbs until you go into labor, being a "good boy"?

mcgeeva · September 2013

I hate to say it - all men are manchilds. No matter how good your man is - they all have things that annoy the living @hit out of us. The grass always looks greener is how I see it until you actually leave and realize no one is perfect. Right now all I can say is he has great taste! 60 bottle of wine - my kind of man! haha

germanpickle · September 2013

Men nest differently. It sounds to me a little bit like he is nesting in his weird way.

KDS1987 · September 2013

mcgeeva said:

I hate to say it - all men are manchilds. No matter how good your man is - they all have things that annoy the living @hit out of us. The grass always looks greener is how I see it until you actually leave and realize no one is perfect. Right now all I can say is he has great taste! 60 bottle of wine - my kind of man! haha

I shouldn't have even opened this thread because I knew I wouldn't be able to resist replying to this. Just wanted to point out that please know your husband has likely been this way since before you guys conceived a child, got married, or even started dating. As for the grass is always greener comment, that is exactly the truth. Right now my husband is in Afghanistan, he will be missing the birth of our child and the first few months of his life. I would LOVE to be cleaning up after him, doing his laundry, and all the other BS things that drive me completely insane when he is home. As much as I get frustrated with those little things at times, when I am able to complain about them that means that he is safe at home and I am lucky enough to spend my life with a guy that I am willing to do all those things for. No one is perfect, I am sure you do crap that annoys him too. Just believe me when I say that those little things that you think are his "faults" are the things you would miss if he weren't around anymore.

roo1oo · September 2013

I made a to-do list for my husband. He needed a little direction on what I wanted him to do. Since then his motto has been "Whatever keeps you happy", which makes me feel like a bitch sometimes but damn, it's really really nice to have all these things done.

Kfran84 · September 2013

Eh... My DH isn't driving me nuts, but like a pp said he needs a list of to-do's because the to-do list in his brain is totally different than mine.

For example, I asked him to put shelves in the basement to store toddler gifts we are getting at the baby showers and instead he sanded the closet in the baby's room and reorganized the garage.

Um, ok, not what I had in mind, but apparently those things were driving him crazy.

jazelise · September 2013

Ugh! Mine too. I've been in nesting mode for a few weeks and I've always been a clean freak. He leaves his t-shirts hanging on the back of our dining room chairs or lets the clothes he takes off after work pile up *On Top* of one of our dressers. He's pretty good at helping me in the kitchen, but when it comes to his laundry not making it into the basket and piling up because Im not going to pick it up, omg it gets irritating. Or when he shaves and leaves the little hairs all over the sink *cringe* He procrastinates and acts confused when I finally go off. Im due in Dec and rearranging our apartment because he has yet to do so.

*Pulling my Hair Out* Blah

orijinale · October 2013

Hell yes. In his defense he works damn near 20 hour days. He is cranky and so am I. The problem is that is out of character for him. Just ride the wave. 2 more weeks!!!

tammura · October 2013

I think that our men are dealing with things, the same as we are. There a probably a million things going through his mind and this is his way of dealing with it. I am not one to blame things on hormones but possibly these things are just bothering you because you are pregnant, LOL. I have been lucky, my husband has been amazing but there have always been things about him, his little quirks, that drive me crazy every now and then, and I know that there are things about me that drive him nuts too. Its the amazing things about him that outweighs the other stuff! Just remember why you fell in love and you will see, he is still that man

Good Luck, and like others have said, maybe you just need to talk to him.

Winecheese&grapes · October 2013

Sounds like you're just agitated ( perfectly normal and understandable) You mentioned he drives bad ( your opinion) he wears too much cologne ( again, your opinion) and he is making room for a piece of furniture that you think is ugly but is storing something that is obviously important to him. I wouldn't go sitting him down & making a huge deal out of this, it may seem like you are attacking him. Just say your nose is super sensative & could he please use a little less cologne. The othrer 2 issues I wouldn't touch. Just give it time, hopefully you will be able to see thru your hormones soon.

beck41982 · October 2013

My fiancé is also driving me crazy! I know I have some crazy hormones right now, but it makes me incredibly sad when he rarely even acknowledges that we are getting ready to have a baby. There are still so many things that we need to purchase before baby's arrival, including another vehicle that is big enough for all of us, but instead of buying for baby he is going on shopping sprees for himself and his two older boys, and taking them on very pricey trips. He has already told me that he will start sleeping in the other room once baby arrives so she doesn't disturb his sleep! I don't work nearly as much as he does, but sleeping in the other room??? As far as taking care of me..rubbing my swollen feet, shoulders, head, whatever, I may as well just forget about it. He wants HIS feet rubbed every single night! He wants me to constantly dote on him! I may be overreacting but I am freaking out!!! I hope this is just typical male behavior before the new baby... Anyone else experiencing the same things? I hope Im not alone....

Angel5218 · October 2013

Yeah I think this is normal lol. We are hormonal and anxious and they have really no clue what to do. DH thinks I can still do everything I did before getting pregnant which annoys me to no end. I am not helpless by any stretch but it still doesn't mean its not hard for me to get up off the floor if DS spills something. That and I have dealt with HG this whole pregnancy so being sick every day for the last 6 months leaves me with very little energy. OH and in bed he all of the sudden NEEDS a body pillow too and our bed is not big so he is always waking me up b/c a pillow hits me in the face. I yelled at him last night and said only one of us is pregnant and I get the body pillow. He tried to tell me that I wake him up every time I roll over, but I quickly reminded him that I also wake up each time too and that 9x out of 10 he is snoring when I am awake.
I think guys are just clueless during pregnancy. It has also been studied that they go through hormonal changes too so that might explain some of their odd behavior. I could go on and on about how selfish I find DH lately but I know most of it is b/c he just has no clue what to do, even if this is our second.

lollipoppoop · October 2013

I

tammura said:

I think that our men are dealing with things, the same as we are. There a probably a million things going through his mind and this is his way of dealing with it. I am not one to blame things on hormones but possibly these things are just bothering you because you are pregnant, LOL. I have been lucky, my husband has been amazing but there have always been things about him, his little quirks, that drive me crazy every now and then, and I know that there are things about me that drive him nuts too. Its the amazing things about him that outweighs the other stuff! Just remember why you fell in love and you will see, he is still that man Good Luck, and like others have said, maybe you just need to talk to him.

Meh, I am not really a fan of calling guys that act like that "men".

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