My husband is driving me insane.

beccam1230 · October 2013

I don't know what else to tell him! He knows I was really sick until 16 weeks and didn't have much of an appetite, even with zofran. I managed to not lose any weight.. I just stayed the same until my 16 week appointment. I'm sure I'm gaining a little weight now though! My appetite is back and I'm generally feeling pretty good. I'm always careful about what I eat, I eat a lot of fruit, yogurt, drink tons of milk, try to stay away from overly processed foods, i dont eat a lot of sugar, etc..
So, the problem now is that any time I decide to eat something not completely healthy, he gets annoyed with me! Like today.. I ate some velveeta shells and cheese. They were f'ing good... But my husband looks at me and says "you know that's really processed, you shouldn't eat that"... Yep, I know it's processed but I don't give a crap right now. I'm hungry.
I told him to quit harassing me because me eating macaroni and cheese wasn't going to permanently damage our baby. Then again, tonight.. I ate a very small piece of strawberry shortcake. Which I made myself, I know there isn't a bunch of crap in it but of course I heard about how much sugar was in it. No, it was not overly sugary. I fully believe that most things are ok in moderation! I don't drink, I rarely have dessert, I do what I can to eat well but jeez. Let me eat my stupid cake in peace!
I told him all this, but is anyone else dealing with an overly paranoid husband? I know he's just worried about what our son is getting.. But so am I, I'm doing my best to do what's best for him but how do I make him understand that eating what I want on occasion is perfectly fine?! I'm about to kick him.

ktpaladino · October 2013

My hubs was a little worse with my first pregnancy but hasn't said much to me this time around. It wasn't really ever much about what I was eating, unless it was something the doctor told me specially stay away from...like sometimes he would question what types of fish I was eating or pointing out things that had caffeine in them. He was more annoying with things like making me back away from the microwave radiation, or not letting me paint the nursery because of fumes. Whenever I insisted it was fine, he didn't want to hear it. Honestly though, I'd rather deal with a protective hubby than one that doesn't give a crap...as frustrating as it can be, it can be cute too when you think about it. ETA: I wanted to add though, that I think there is a fine line between being generally concerned and protective vs. outright controlling.

beccam1230 · October 2013

Very true, good point! I'm glad he cares as much as he does, it is sweet. And he knows he driving me nuts now.. Haha he has been very sweet since I talked to him about it. I just wish he would trust my judgement more!

COgirl29 · October 2013

Now I really want velveeta shells and cheese....

teaforthree · October 2013

I agree it's cute that he's being caring and protective, but the consequence of that is you're probably going to have to eat those things when he's not home and can't nag!

beccam1230 · October 2013

Thanks for the responses, ladies! He has definitely let it go today, maybe he understands now that I want the best for our baby as well.. But sometimes that means making mommy happy too :-)

MamaP19 · October 2013

my DH's famous line while i've been pregnant is "you can't eat like me!" he's in good shape but eats the worst things which of course smell wonderful to me.. everything in moderation is the way to go.

pineconey · October 2013

Mine is thrilled that I seem to only be able to tolerate terrible food- he takes it as a free pass to eat junk too. Ugh. I have been very insistent on healthy foods since we have been married and he was losing weight! Now he wonders why he's so tired all the time... Uh maybe all of the crappy foods you choose have something to do with it... At least I have an excuse! It's either carbs or nothing most days. Ugh- I miss vegetables...

mcgeeva · October 2013

Is he a huge weight freak or big into working out? I feel like people act like that who are very concerned with looking a specific way. Unless my husband was worried about the type of fish or something he is the one coming home with snacks for me to eat. He knows I am a big wine drinker and I can't really drink with him so snacks it is. I have always said this is your time to enjoy some extra calories because once the baby is here it's all about getting it off again. So I'd say shove it and leave me alone. If I want it I am going to have it and I'd like to enjoy it in peace.

maelic · October 2013

I would cut him, seriously.

My husband has been a pain too but that's because he wants to be on a diet (which he doesn't need) and I'm having absolutely none of it. No, I will not eat fruit for breakfast. Make me fried eggs, husband!

Kfran84 · October 2013

Ugh. I would flip out if my DH criticized my eating. Are y'all usually all organic or paleo or something- or is he just setting special rules for your pregnancy?

kstar83 · October 2013

No Uterus, no opinion.

Not really, obviously. But after I left the bathroom door open the other morning so that MH could hear the beauty that is MS, he has backed off considerably. I try to make good decisions, eat salads when I am feeling good, drink mostly water and milk, adding fruits back in like apples and watermelon, eat yogurts for snack. So when I just gotta eat what I can eat (today it was a turkey breast sandwich yikes lunchmeat) he just says go for it.

He knows I beat myself up as much as anyone for not eating perfect.

beccam1230 · October 2013

He's not a huge workout freak and neither of us are insanely health conscious, we've always made the effort to eat healthy but we've never been obsessive about it. We're both at a healthy weight, good everything levels, we're active, etc... I've been trying to eat all the healthy food I can when I'm hungry, but sometimes.. I get my junk food! I don't go overboard but the occasional fun size pack of skittles will be found in my hand! Haha seriously though, only once every few days!
I think the problem is that he's an airline pilot (like he doesn't eat unhealthy food when he's at work...) and that was the first day he got back from a 5 day trip. Usually they aren't that long, but while he was gone was when I got my ultrasound and found out our baby is a boy. I showed him the DVD of the ultrasound and I think it became more real to him at that point. He got SO excited and since he's not the one who can feel the baby kicking and didn't go through all the loveliness of the first trimester, I guess he finally felt like a father after being able to see him. I'm happy he feels this way but I'm thinking it was just that day that he was hypersensitive about it all! He stopped worrying so much after that day because I guess he did get the sensing that I was about to cut him.. Haha. Thanks all!

MamaP19 · October 2013

AlexisDKruse said:

I totally feel your pain. MH has told me that he is pretty sure he could be "better" at being pregnant than I am. He freaks if I forget to take my prenatal one day.

Men are bad at conveying their concerns. He just loves you and the baby and wants to make sure you both are healthy. He probably knows that mac and cheese and some strawberry shortcake isn't going to hurt either of you, but if you told him that you wanted to avoid sugar and processed food, he might be trying to "help" you stick to your goals.

whaaaaat? i would die laughing if MH said this. he is totally incapacitated by a man cold.. no WAY he could handle even a week of MS better than I did.

beccam1230 · October 2013

MamaP19 said:

AlexisDKruse said:

I totally feel your pain. MH has told me that he is pretty sure he could be "better" at being pregnant than I am. He freaks if I forget to take my prenatal one day.

Men are bad at conveying their concerns. He just loves you and the baby and wants to make sure you both are healthy. He probably knows that mac and cheese and some strawberry shortcake isn't going to hurt either of you, but if you told him that you wanted to avoid sugar and processed food, he might be trying to "help" you stick to your goals.

whaaaaat? i would die laughing if MH said this. he is totally incapacitated by a man cold.. no WAY he could handle even a week of MS better than I did.

Hahaha.. This!! I can't believe I didn't see this yesterday! My husband caught a little cold the other day and he was constantly complaining about "ohhh, I feel so awful.." Blah blah. He went to the doctor. For a little cold. Really? They would die if they were pregnant!

gateship · October 2013

I would be soooo annoyed if my husband did that. However, on the other hand at least you know he cares about the baby. I seem to have the opposite problem. My DH doesn't seem to be that interested in anything with with this pregnancy. We had planned on getting pregnant and then lost our first little one early on and had planned on waiting for a while but ended up getting pregnant right away. He has just started to at least touch my belly and every once in a while talk to it or kiss it. But for example when I want to go back to sleep after waking up with him to get him ready for work he gives me a hard time, saying "You know when the baby gets here you won't be able to do that". Yep, I do know that, that is why I am going back to sleep now- plus, I am freaking tired! This is hard work! At least I am not throwing up all the time anymore but now I am getting up countless times in the middle of the night to go pee and I am sore and feel giant. He kept telling me when I was sick with MS just to push through it (part of the time he had a point but most of the time I wanted to punch him) and stop complaining- like I should be grateful just to be pregnant (I was and I am but that doesn't meant that certain parts of pregnancy aren't hard or don't suck) . Like AlexDKruse, posted about her DH thinking he could do this "better" I think my DH feels the same way. I don't want to make my husband sound like an uncaring person, most of the time he is wonderful and I truly love him, he just does not get this! Or maybe he is just to scared to care about this baby- I don't know. Then again, at least I can eat whatever I want and not have him criticize me. I guess the grass is always greener lol.

beccam1230 · October 2013

I'm so sorry about your loss, but congratulations on being pregnant now! I know exactly what you're saying.. It's wonderful to be pregnant and we're all lucky to be in our positions but jeez... You are so right, certain parts of pregnancy do seriously suck! Like this morning.. I woke up feeling sick, this is supposed to be over!!
My husband actually took awhile to come around though. But if he had told me to push through it when I was throwing up all the time, I would have kicked him. He did make a few comments about "we'll maybe you should just eat more".. Yes, let me eat more so I can throw up more! Or, "try staying busy to keep ypur mind off being sick" I couldnt even get out of bed, much less stay busy with other things. He learned pretty quickly to stop making those comments, i told him the next time he has the stomach flu, i was going to harass him. They just don't get it. Your husband still has time to become a little more interested in everything. I think it's just a different process for them. Mine just didn't seem to know what to do or how to act before these past few weeks. During my entire first trimester, he wasn't concerned with the baby much, but how I was feeling. Now his focus has switched to the baby! He keeps trying to talk to him and feel him kick, etc. I understand what you said about him being a caring and sweet person, I just think they go through a really long adjustment period, while its not that way with us.
Pretty much all just speculation though, who can guess what's going through their heads?! Good luck with everything and I hope your DH comes around a little more, soon :-)

gateship · October 2013

Thanks for the support! Your comments made me laugh and tear up a bit to know that I am not alone in getting those remarks!

I think in his own way my hubby is trying to be supportive (I think) because when he gets sick he does try to push through it- which sometimes works for him and other times just makes him sicker. Dang him for coming from stubborn farmer stock!

I also agree, I think men just take longer to adjust. I know I am just past the halfway mark and there is plenty of time for him to become interested. It is just so dang hard waiting for that to happen lol. Still, I appreciate the support and hearing everyone else's stories knowing that I am not alone! Good luck with your DH as well! I am glad he has started to come around

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