Crowd funding?

adoptmommy · October 2013

Has anyone tried crowd funding? We have felt conflicted about if we felt comfortable with fundraising and getting donations from friends & family. But we have less than 3 months to raise $9,300 but with cutting our budget, we are still short $3,000. So tonight I started a site & guess if we get donations from strangers, it'll be a sign. I don't think we'll publicize with our family & friends though.

maryoosa · October 2013

I will be the first to say that I have very very strong opinions about this- so forgive me---
but...

I really don't think that fundraising is appropriate for adoption- not from friends, and certainly not from strangers. I believe that money from family is a different situation, but I always think of it this way- would you ask people to fund your fertility treatments? Personally? I never would have. Just like I didn't ask anyone to fund my adoption. Was it really hard to come up with the funds we needed? Yes. We saved, and we worked extra jobs, we stopped eating out, drinking expensive coffee, etc. We heavily borrowed from our retirement funds. Would it be awesome to have a free and clear way to funds? Yes. Did I ? No.

I have a really hard time with the amount of fundraising that goes on in my community (queer, trans, etc.) some of it is for really excellent things--- a friend who has given back to the community in multitudes of ways, including caretaking and other things couldn't get health insurance that would cover a hip surgery she needed. So, she crowdosurced enough money to pay for the surgery and her recovery. Happy to donate to that. Another person I know wanted to raise enough money to move in with her partner who lived a few states away. No. Not contributing to that. I feel that ever time I open up my computer someone else is asking for cash. So, I choose not to participate in most crowdfunding opportunities for personal experiences- and adoption would fall into this.

MagickalNarwhal · October 2013

I feel the same as maryoosa. We did some fundraising and the direct asks for cash I deeply regret.

We also did a fundraiser yard sale where people gave us stuff that was earmarked for goodwill anyway, and we sold it and put the proceeds towards our expenses. That I do not regret (it was a ton of work, basically like a second job).

If I had to do it again, I'd still do the yard sale and I might still ask my inlaws for money in the form of a loan.

adoptmommy · October 2013

Thanks for the response- I slept on it last night & decided to cancel the site. I just didn't feel good about it- I'm feeling exactly like you both! We have an option with a loan from family so it's not that we have no other choice.

Panderp · October 2013

I feel like you'll get both sides of the coin, in terms of answers.

A lot of people may not feel like it's something they would donate to. The great part is that donations aren't forced or required. And for anyone who might think less of you for admitting you need help building your family might not be a person that will be helpful during this process anyways.

My husband and I nearly emptied the savings account doing our one-time Hail Mary IVF cycle...and it worked. And then I went into PTL and watched my son be born and die in the same minute. We have no other means to become parents, despite doing every bit of saving and working on our end. > $15, 000 and no family to show for it.

We are borrowing from retirement. We are working multiple jobs. We have cut back. And we need help. And we have received a fantastic outpouring of support from our friends, family and strangers.

Some people believe family building isnt a need, but a want instead. It certainly seems like a need to me, particularly on the child's behalf.

Do what you need to do. I hope you are touched by the generosity of others and that they see what a beautiful gift they are giving you. Good luck ♥

amycorn · October 2013

I think that's a beautiful way of looking at it

I think that if family needed help building their family I would be happy to donate what I could.

Dr.Loretta · October 2013

It's a hot topic, and I'm frankly torn. I wish you luck moving forward.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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Flamingo86 · October 2013

Everything that @panderp said.

I take no issue with crowd funding. If people don't like it they don't have to donate. Also, if people wanted to fund raise for their fertility treatments I wouldn't take issue with that either.

We plan to ask for financial support with our adoption. We are working very hard to save money ourselves: Cutting back, staying out of debt, working side jobs, etc. We expect to work hard and live lean to fund our adoption and I don't think asking for a little extra help is out of line.

Best of luck to you however you choose to proceed.

kva11isho · October 2013

We happen to be fundraising. We've cut back on as much as we possibly can, but we still need help. I try to look at ways for people to donate while getting something in return. We set up an Amazon Associates account which has been our biggest source of funds. All your supporters have to do is go to Amazon through your link and shop like normal. There is no extra cost to them but a portion of each sale is direct deposited into your bank account. The way I see this is that Amazon pays you a portion of each sale for your advertising efforts through your link. We're also doing a premier and 31 benefit party where 35% of the sales at our party will be donated to our adoption. If people are planning to shop through those vendors anyway, why not donate to a good cause.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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