I didn't cut it the first time - is it worth trying again? (long)

Re: I didn't cut it the first time - is it worth trying again? (long)

• sschwege member

  October 2013

  Sorry you had a rough time.  I know it's hard, but I think you need to approach this as a totally different experience.  That was then, this is now.

  
  

  Here's the thing, just as a med-free birth is guaranteed to no one, an epi is also guaranteed to no one.  Even if you decide you want an epi, you might arrive too late for them to do it or it might not work as well as you hope it will.  I think it's always a good idea to at least prepare and research natural forms of pain relief and coping techniques.  Have you considered taking a class, I had a great experience with Hypnobirthing and I know a lot of people who like Bradley.  So maybe you could approach it like that, you are preparing for labor and delivery and you will know on that day what is going to work for you.

  
  

  Here's what you have going for you this time, second time mothers tend to have shorter labors, not always of course, but as a general rule.  Labor was 17.5 hours with my first and 5hr10min with my second (really only 2-2.5 hours of 'real contractions').  Pushing was infinitely easier the second time, an hour of pushing with my first, two pushes with my second.  The first baby tends to pave the way for future babies making pushing easier in most cases.

  
  

  So much of L & D is a roll of the dice, some people have an easier time, some don't and there's not much you can do about that.  You had a rough go of it the first time and you made the best decisions you could for you and your baby.  Good luck!  

  
  
  
  
  
  My Ovulation Chart

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• huntjul member

  October 2013

  I do think it's worth trying again. A second birth with a cervix that has opened nice before, especially if you can avoid an induction, could be a very different experience. And I hope you don't really feel like "I couldn't cut it" because your labor wasn't ideal, but you managed as best you could, resulting in a vaginal birth and I assume a healthy baby.

     
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• abell77 member

  October 2013

  No two births are the same, it is absolutely worth trying again.  With my first child, I had a similar experience where my water broke and I had no contractions for nearly 72 hours.  I too had the oral cytotec, and my baby was posterior.  The contractions were horrendous.  I did make it through with no pain meds, but I also dilated to 10 within a few hours, and then had over two hours of pushing since he remained posterior.  Sure, I feel good about the fact that I made it through without pain meds, but if I'm being honest I read your story and think to myself that if I had to go through the pain I did for nearly 48 hours like you did, I may have opted for the epi as well.

  
  

  Anyway...please do not think of yourself as a failure.  For what it's worth, I have three children now and my second and third births were a breeze compared to what I went to the first time around.  No interventions whatsoever, brief, uncomplicated labors (although very fast, 3.5 hours and 2 hrs, respectively).  Going through labor without cytotec and without a posterior baby is a much easier experience to handle, let me tell you!  The contractions felt completely different, I felt in control and clear-headed, the pain was intense but manageable.  There is obviously no way of knowing for sure why my first labor started the way it did, with my water breaking and then no contractions, but my midwife said one theory could be that because my son was posterior and not in the optimal position for delivery, that his head was not lined up properly to place adequate pressure on my cervix to start contractions.  I mention this only because you may want to consider seeing a chiropractor during any future pregnancies.  Helping to keep everything in alignment may help baby get into a good position too.  

  
  

  Good Luck!  Think positive:)

  

  Report0 Reply
• Haley.Beth member

  October 2013

  My first birth kind of mirrors yours. Several hours after my water broke, I accepted pitocin, and from there things got unbearable. I didn't get an epi, but I probably should have. I was just too scared of it. But I spent 22 hours of labor absolutely miserable. It was a torturous experience. If I hadn't started pushing when I did, I would have begged for a c-section.

  
  

  My second, I planned a home birth. My water didn't break until I was pushing. Contractions started at 3:30 am, I was still thinking I was in early labor and didn't call the midwife until I felt my body pushing only 3 hours later. It was insane. Fast and easy, the midwife didn't even make it in time.

  
  

  Two completely different experiences. Try not to judge your second labor by your first, especially since you were induced with your first. Induction drugs are no joke, they produce contractions that are NOT natural, I don't think anyone should be "expected" to handle them. My contractions during transition of my nonmedicated birth mirrored the contractions at 3 cm with my medicated birth. Definitely try again! The intensity of my precipitous natural birth couldn't even hold a candle to my induced birth. In fact, if I had to be induced again, I would probably just plan for an epi, despite my amazing experience with going natural. 

  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• orijinale member

  October 2013

  vszapp said:

  Like many ladies, my first birth wasn't how I had planned. I was going for a NB, had a doula on call, and felt ready for anything (ha!). My water broke at 38w2d, and in short, I waited 36 hours without true labor (minor contractions, but nothing that I couldn't talk through, and only 1cm dilated), so they finally sent me to labor and delivery (a few floors down from the birthing center) to be induced.

  Because I was sort of in early labor, they put me in a clinical trial using oral cytotec (misoprostol) to kick it into high gear. Well, did it ever! I was lucky enough to be in L&D where they had wireless monitors, so I could walk through the initial pain. Finally, it got pretty bad, so it was time for the shower and the doula. Then it got worse, and worse, until no amount of breathing, warm water, or anything else could help me relax. I was moaning and writhing in pain, and each contraction, the *only* thing I could think of was how much I wanted to escape what I was feeling. I literally felt like I was being crushed underneath a truck - the pain was very concentrated right near my pubic bone. The doula tried various things, to push on my hips, etc, but I just wanted to punch her; it did nothing. I thought to myself that if I was in transition, maybe I could pull through. Well, they checked, and after about 6 hours of crazy contractions, I was only at 3cm! I almost died when I heard that, I was so disheartened. The midwife (who was able to follow me down to L&D) basically said I was going to "natural birth mysefl into a c/s" because I was so exhausted and miserable, so I finally agreed to an epi (no IV drugs, though). I screamed through the contractions while I had to hold still for the anaethesiologist, but I did it somehow. Once the pain relief set in, I almost went into shock - my blood pressure was 80/50 and I was shaking. I finally got some rest, and in just a few hours I dilated to 10cm! She said that since I could finally relax, my body did its job. Pushing her out took 3h since the cytotec started to wear off, but I finally did it. All in all I was up for 48 hours trying to get this kid out.

  I felt like a failure for a couple of reasons. First, my MW and others said I should be able to handle the pain even with the induction. Second, I was trying every trick in my book to relax and open and let my body dilate, but it just didn't happen. I really don't know how different induced labor from cytotec is, but I know many people have handled it unmedicated. Should Ii even bother trying again, or am I just not cut out for NB? I really am not trying to approach it with a defeatist attitude, it's just that I felt so good going into the last birth, and I just couldn't hack it. The only thing that makes me think I should try again is that I remember the MW saying something to the effect that DD was either a bit stuck or awkwardly turned. Nothing major, though, I think. Could that really do it?

  So those of you with experience, please feel free to get real with me. Should I go for it again?

   

  I think you are being too hard on yourself. You did pretty well under the circumstances. It is hard for your body to open up and relax under duress. You were in a lot of pain. All of the things that happen could have been your bodys way of keeping you and your child alive. Please don't beat yourself up. A lot of women were not given the option to still have a vaginal birth. They were simply given a c-section and sent on their way.

  Report0 Reply
• vszapp member

  October 2013

  Thanks ladies. It's good to know that the next experience could be totally different. Although I took several classes last time and tried my best to prepare mentally, I think I'll try the hyponobirthing to see if that can help me cope better this time.

  

  

  
  

  Report0 Reply