FFFC aka: b*tch sessions

+just+j+ · October 2013

My first paycheck for my new job was issued last Friday. I still dont have it. I may get paid my 2nd pay check (which should be direct deposit by then) before I get my first! I want my money!

My landlord has yet to pay me back my deposit. It will be 30 days next week. Finally last night after my last attempt to contact her and being ignored...she tells me they will pay me end if October. If Oct 31st rolls around and i have no check .... Its off to court we go. I want my money!

XH is late on CS. Says he paid it. Still no check. I want my money!

I literally have thousands of dollars I am waiting on and I am on my last $200 until I receive any of it.

I WANT MY MONEY!!!!

sweetie0228 · October 2013

Hi- I'm Sweetie0228-

I'm 37 years old and I finally just figured out how to live with in my means and create a useable budget.

I am now kicking myself b/c I could have been saving a lot more money over the last 10 years if I understood the concept before yesterday.

I was about 6 months away from financially ruining my family before it finally clicked on not only what I was doing wrong but how to fix it.

+just+j+ · October 2013

+just+j+ said:
My first paycheck for my new job was issued last Friday. I still dont have it. I may get paid my 2nd pay check (which should be direct deposit by then) before I get my first! I want my money!

My landlord has yet to pay me back my deposit. It will be 30 days next week. Finally last night after my last attempt to contact her and being ignored...she tells me they will pay me end if October. If Oct 31st rolls around and i have no check .... Its off to court we go. I want my money!

XH is late on CS. Says he paid it. Still no check. I want my money!

I have thousands of dollars I am waiting on and I am on my last $200 until I receive any of it.

I WANT MY MONEY!!!!

rmjones15 · October 2013

That's the worst. I'm sorry....hopefully something shows up soon!

sweetie0228 · October 2013

@tifanico let's plan a telecoffeee and I'll share my spreadsheet and see if it makes sense and works for you and then we can hold each other accountable for staying on our money diets

sweetwalks · October 2013

@sweetie0228 we're not near financial ruin but we should be saving a lot more money too. I'm left wondering sometimes where our money goes too.

sweetie0228 · October 2013

tifanico said:

sweetie0228 said:

@tifanico let's plan a telecoffeee and I'll share my spreadsheet and see if it makes sense and works for you and then we can hold each other accountable for staying on our money diets
We need to do it. Every month I say, wait, I make X and my expenses are Y, why on earth am I not saving more?!

I was also going to ask you how early December looks for you. I know it's holiday time but I am going to be there in case you have time to meet.

Early December looks good for me right now. Message me the dates and we'll GTG.

bebe11 · October 2013

I am 41 and I still have times where I know that I should be saving way more than I do. I used to follow Dave Ramsey's program, but when I would run out of cash, I would just go get more from the ATM. ugh!

I hope you get your money soon. Did your work tell you what the hold up is on the check? Can they stop payment and just wire you the money? That is ridiculous.

ambrvan · October 2013

The vet clinics in the surrounding areas have all been hit by a string of break-ins, people looking for controlled drugs, lots of valuable and dangerous drugs stolen. The clinic I work at was hit, but our alarm went off and scared them away before they could get in, nothing stolen. But the incident has put my boss in an extreme tizzy. And since I am the surgery tech, I am widely responsible for our controlled drugs and the log books for them. I have spent the last few days correcting everyone else's mistakes and dealing with my boss breathing down my neck and wanting me to answer why some things that happened while I was not even here are messed up and improperly recorded. I work much better without someone on top of me all the time.

Also, DH's vacation and health benefits finally went into affect. He gets ONE DAY of paid leave for the year. Seriously? And this amazing health insurance they just switched to... It would cost us over $280 A WEEK for the four of us. But if he does not add us to coverage, the ambulance service pays his completely. So now we have to keep adding for insurance. Ugh..

KTdidit · October 2013

sweetie0228 said:

Hi- I'm Sweetie0228-

I'm 37 years old and I finally just figured out how to live with in my means and create a useable budget.

I am now kicking myself b/c I could have been saving a lot more money over the last 10 years if I understood the concept before yesterday.

I was about 6 months away from financially ruining my family before it finally clicked on not only what I was doing wrong but how to fix it.

Well at least you finally got it before it was too late! We are horrible on saving money too. I know where it all goes, it just aggravates me that we have so much debt and can't afford to pay more toward any of it so we are stuck until its done.

Mine isn't too flameful - DS and I ditched soccer practice Wednesday. A little flameful because I'm the "coach", since the real coach up and quit a couple weeks ago. But a couple of the other boys' dads kind of take over coaching practice anyway so I don't feel too bad.

+just+j+ · October 2013

bebe11 said:
I am 41 and I still have times where I know that I should be saving way more than I do. I used to follow Dave Ramsey's program, but when I would run out of cash, I would just go get more from the ATM. ugh!
I hope you get your money soon. Did your work tell you what the hold up is on the check? Can they stop payment and just wire you the money? That is ridiculous.

Bebe, they sent it to my old address. I told them my concern and requested they stop payment and expedite. Unfortunately the corporate world doesnt move very fast. Luckily my former employers sent me my mileage check and i have more to get me by.

Lavender P · October 2013

My DH and BIL had a falling out and haven't spoken in several months. DH has reached out several times even though BIL was at fault. Now BIL is done throwing a temper tantrum and is willing to mend things with DH. DH is being the bigger person and meeting with him. I am still not ready to forgive and forget. BIL and the other in laws treated us like dirt for months. They all knew BIL was wrong but stuck up for him because he is their bio kid where's DH is only half. I will promise to try to be nice but I'm scared that one day I'm going to tell them that they are a lousy excuse for parents that choose to coddle their spoiled brat of a son who does nothing but mooches off of them. And that is the nicest thing I have to say....

Ilumine · October 2013

I am pissed off at my Mother. I have explained over and over and over again that DH no longer has a flexible leave schedule. He EARNS one day of leave every month. And since a) he has only been a full time employee since May and b) there is a 6 month wait period on when he can start using said leave, he has none.

I have also explained over and over and over again that DH has a different view on vacations then I (and she) does. Both DH and I believe it is ok to take mini-vacations separately (really DH doesn't LIKE it but gets why I like to get away from it all). However, he does not believe that it is ok for Me to take Monkey to visit my family because that is now a FAMILY vacation and without him it is not a family.

And I get that, to some extent, but more importantly, I respect my husband's feelings.

So I get pissy when my mother makes family vacation plans and then gets Passive Aggressive / Guilt-trippy when I tell her we WONT be going.

Especially when her plans are to rent a beach house on the Maryland shore when I live on the Emerald Coast of FL. HELLO, why would I use up my husband's hard earned vacation hours (thus pushing back Disney) to go from a beautiful white sand beach with clean clear water to the nasty ass sand and water of the Atlantic Coast - all the while staying in a house with my Sister and Brother?

I know, I know first world problems

CFjo2010 · October 2013

sweetwalks said:

@sweetie0228 we're not near financial ruin but we should be saving a lot more money too. I'm left wondering sometimes where our money goes too.

I wonder this too. And then I look in my closet and see my happy shoes. And then I look at my beast of a son and see his shoes we had to special order because he wears a 14. And then I look at PJ and her clothes and toys....

Can I just win the lotto?

CFjo2010 · October 2013

My flameful post this week ties in nicely with the $$ discussions:

I started bartending at night this week for extra cash which will help out a lot with Christmas and paying off some debt. So I am now working Mon-Thurs at my "real" job, bartending at night a few nights a week and still doing Crossfit at 5 a.m. Wednesday night I worked 8 hours, got home at almost 3 a.m., and brought home about $125 in tips. I told DH I made $75 in tips and I put the other $50 in my separate savings account. I'm supposed to work tomorrow and I plan to do the same thing. Deceitful? Yes. But dammit I am literally working my ass off. Yesterday I got up after only an hour long "nap" so I could workout, got the kids up and ready for school, got the kids to school and PJ to daycare and then hauled my ass into my "real" job until I picked kids back up from school, went to DS' football game, came home and made dinner for everyone. So yes, I am withholding some of my tips from DH so that I can save money for fun stuff (Knotts passes, fun shoes, other non-essential items). DH is super frugal and wants every single penny to go towards bills and savings, which is great. But I like a little wiggle room for fun stuff. Call me selfish, I'm ok with that. When DH starts working a 2nd job he can do whatever he would like with the extra money he's bringing in.

Hopeforthebest · October 2013

jobalchak and by bartending we know you mean being a stripper!!

I hope everyone else knows I'm kidding (previous post).

+just+j+ · October 2013

YAY! I got my check Fed Ex'd to me today! Now I can pay my bills and do a little shopping. DD's long legs and growing feet need some new fall/winter clothes.

ambrvan · October 2013

andrea99 said:
She did show. And she looked trashy as ever. I was so glad we met her outside the locker rooms instead of in the pool. I just made mom friends there, and I would be so embarrassed if they associated me with her. I'm being so judgmental. But seriously.

I feel the same way when BM shows up at soccer games. No one has ever noticed her as connected to SD or us until last Saturday. That was the first game she had to bring SD to, and after the game DS and I went to the playground. Some of the other parents accompanied us and asked a couple questions, all very polite and fairly unitrusive. They said something seemed off about BM. I just said that they didn't know the half of it, and they left it alone after that. People seem to be able to see through it.

jess9802 · October 2013

A day late, but it happened yesterday:

My mom called me yesterday in a panic. The vice principal at SS's school had called our house to say that SS wasn't in his seventh period class and his backpack had been found in some bushes a few blocks from the school. Mom was scared that he'd been abducted. I called the school, a bit alarmed, to find out that SS was in fact with the vice principal. Apparently, SS thinks that because his Health class is boring he didn't need to go yesterday, and he and some buddies decided to leave campus and "walk around and talk."

I told SS that since they're talking about making good decisions in health class it sounded like he needed to be there after all rather than skipping class and earning an in-school suspension on Monday. I get that he's a gifted student and it's material he took in middle school so he's bored, but dude, seriously?

Pamelacake · October 2013

I'm late too.

I have had some time, since the kids have gone back to school, to think about a lot. Mine and DH's relationship was suffering severely. To the point where I thought of leaving. I talked to him about it and he had an epiphany later that day. He works too much. DH feels that if he doesn't have extra money to play with aside from paying bills.. he isn't being fair to the kids. I understand this to a point. Between the two of us, we have a lot of kids. DH said that he needs to be home more. The kids need him.. not loads of extra money. (I have been trying to tell him this for months) I don't mind overtime here and there but he would get up and leave for work and not be home until the younger kids were in bed. (on school nights) Partial day on Saturdays with some full days which puts him at home after 5pm. And even on Sundays.

One of the reasons I thought of leaving was bc he said I didn't leave enough time in my day for him when he would get home. I am up by 5:30 every morning and don't get to bed until 9pm if I am lucky and sometimes 10. I am so exhausted. I sometimes get to take a nap while the kids are at school but that is rare.

I am not trying to blame this all on DH, we are rarely intimate, (that one's on me) I have been slacking around the house a bit, not a lot but it was noticeable compared to the way the house would normally look. Hopefully our talk changes things. DH is working a long day today to make up for what he missed through the week.

I guess I wasn't really thinking of leaving, I had no intentions on leaving, but needed to make it real to DH that things needed to change. I have seen my counselor since and she told me it wasn't like me to try to talk things out like that. (She has known me for over 4 years) No it's not but I really do want this to work for the best for everyone. All of our kids are happy and they don't need anymore heartbreak. DH and I just need to rebuild our foundation.

DH also apologized and said now that he looks at things, he had been treating me like a babysitter in some ways and he shouldn't have ever made me feel like that and all of the responsibilities shouldn't have been put on me. That is something that a couple of ladies have mentioned on here and I didn't even tell him about that. (me being just a babysitter to SK's)

It wasn't like that at all in the beginning of our relationship or our marriage. DH wants so badly for the kids to have it better than we did as kids. They already do when it comes to things you can buy. They need him to spend more time with them. So the plan is that DH and I go to breakfast together at least once a week, and we do something fun with the kids on Sundays.

DH has impressed me so far.. He gets up at 6am instead of 7 so he can be up before the kids get on the bus, and we have a bit of time to spend together while he drinks his coffee and watches the news before he goes to work. Fingers Crossed!

ambrvan · October 2013

Pamelacake said:
I'm late too.
I have had some time, since the kids have gone back to school, to think about a lot. Mine and DH's relationship was suffering severely. To the point where I thought of leaving. I talked to him about it and he had an epiphany later that day. He works too much. DH feels that if he doesn't have extra money to play with aside from paying bills.. he isn't being fair to the kids. I understand this to a point. Between the two of us, we have a lot of kids. DH said that he needs to be home more. The kids need him.. not loads of extra money. (I have been trying to tell him this for months) I don't mind overtime here and there but he would get up and leave for work and not be home until the younger kids were in bed. (on school nights) Partial day on Saturdays with some full days which puts him at home after 5pm. And even on Sundays.
One of the reasons I thought of leaving was bc he said I didn't leave enough time in my day for him when he would get home. I am up by 5:30 every morning and don't get to bed until 9pm if I am lucky and sometimes 10. I am so exhausted. I sometimes get to take a nap while the kids are at school but that is rare.
I am not trying to blame this all on DH, we are rarely intimate, (that one's on me) I have been slacking around the house a bit, not a lot but it was noticeable compared to the way the house would normally look. Hopefully our talk changes things. DH is working a long day today to make up for what he missed through the week.
I guess I wasn't really thinking of leaving, I had no intentions on leaving, but needed to make it real to DH that things needed to change. I have seen my counselor since and she told me it wasn't like me to try to talk things out like that. (She has known me for over 4 years) No it's not but I really do want this to work for the best for everyone. All of our kids are happy and they don't need anymore heartbreak. DH and I just need to rebuild our foundation.
DH also apologized and said now that he looks at things, he had been treating me like a babysitter in some ways and he shouldn't have ever made me feel like that and all of the responsibilities shouldn't have been put on me. That is something that a couple of ladies have mentioned on here and I didn't even tell him about that. (me being just a babysitter to SK's)
It wasn't like that at all in the beginning of our relationship or our marriage. DH wants so badly for the kids to have it better than we did as kids. They already do when it comes to things you can buy. They need him to spend more time with them. So the plan is that DH and I go to breakfast together at least once a week, and we do something fun with the kids on Sundays.
DH has impressed me so far.. He gets up at 6am instead of 7 so he can be up before the kids get on the bus, and we have a bit of time to spend together while he drinks his coffee and watches the news before he goes to work. Fingers Crossed!

Do you work at all? Aren't all of your kids in school? I know it's not an option for everyone or just not a desire, but would it help your H feel less pressured if you worked part time during the day while kids are at school? That way if his paycheck covers the bills, yours would be 'play money" for the family (you included)? Just a thought. It might allow him to be home more while ask asking you to be there when the kids need you.

I honestly can't remember if you have young children or are pregnant (can't see siggys on mobile so don't know if you have a ticker or anything to tell). So this might not work for your family.

Pamelacake · October 2013

I am strictly stay at home. Getting a job is something I have wanted to do. That was another factor actually, DH didn't want me to work. He knows I'm used to being independent and he doesn't want me to feel like I have to work.

I am 4 months pregnant and all of the other kids are in school. I volunteer at the school here and there but I wouldn't be opposed to getting a job at all. My only 2 options are our nearby little grocery store and a gas station. I have already checked into both of these places and unless they become desperate, will not let me work the hours I need to to be home when the kids get here. I know the gas station is considering it though. DH has a family friend who has worked there for years.

I wish there was something close where I could actually use some skills.

hopanka · October 2013

Pamela...can u apply for something that you can do remotely? SIL used to do medical billing when she was a SAHM. All you need is a PC. Might be an option, if you live in a rural area with very few business around.

Pamelacake · October 2013

@hopanka I have seen this advertised and was wondering about it. I was a seamstress and had a business. I have been brushing up on my sewing to start making clothes again. I thought that would be a good thing to do too. Thanks for the idea. I'll have to look into that.

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