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2 yr old picky with clothes

26 m.o DS had an opinion this morning about getting dressed. He wanted to leave his pj shirt on. He got upset when I put his regular shirt on. He dosent usually do this with the exception of a few times in the past with his shoes. WWYD? would you let him wear the pj shirt or would you change him and let him cry through it? I am just afraid if I get too lenient and let him dress in whatever he wants that he will soon make a habit of it or eventually melt down at a time when he really needs to be dressed! Also, wondering if this is just a phase. 
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Re: 2 yr old picky with clothes

  • DD is 3 1/2 and has been going through this for close to a year.  We have to be out the door by 6:30 and I have a 1 1/2 year old who is often cranky while I'm trying to get them ready and out, so most days she wears what she wants.  She went through a dress phase, which was great, now it's a skirt phase, but she'll usually only wear long sleeve shirts and if its a short sleeve shirt I have to layer it to make it long sleeves, even if it's 80 degrees.  She's very particular about what shirt she'll wear so although she has lots of nice clothes, she wears the same things pretty much every week.  Most days she's happy with her sneakers, but she's gone to school several times in rain boots on beautiful sunny days.  Those days I send her with sneakers incase she gets uncomfortable.  This morning she was going to wear slippers, I started to fight it, she started to flip out, I gave in and was going to send the sneakers with her (she couldn't find the other slipper so she wore the sneakers anyway).
    I do think it would be worth the fight if she insisted on wearing her pajamas.  I'll let her know she can wear them again that night so we have to keep them home so they don't get dirty and the other kids will laugh at her if she's in her pjs, finally I'll threaten to take them off and put them in the garbage.  I've never had to follow through.
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  • yikes! Looks like you have your hands full! Sounds like this is another case of our LO's figuring out independence and what and what they can not get away with.
    DD is 3 1/2 and has been going through this for close to a year.  We have to be out the door by 6:30 and I have a 1 1/2 year old who is often cranky while I'm trying to get them ready and out, so most days she wears what she wants.  She went through a dress phase, which was great, now it's a skirt phase, but she'll usually only wear long sleeve shirts and if its a short sleeve shirt I have to layer it to make it long sleeves, even if it's 80 degrees.  She's very particular about what shirt she'll wear so although she has lots of nice clothes, she wears the same things pretty much every week.  Most days she's happy with her sneakers, but she's gone to school several times in rain boots on beautiful sunny days.  Those days I send her with sneakers incase she gets uncomfortable.  This morning she was going to wear slippers, I started to fight it, she started to flip out, I gave in and was going to send the sneakers with her (she couldn't find the other slipper so she wore the sneakers anyway).
    I do think it would be worth the fight if she insisted on wearing her pajamas.  I'll let her know she can wear them again that night so we have to keep them home so they don't get dirty and the other kids will laugh at her if she's in her pjs, finally I'll threaten to take them off and put them in the garbage.  I've never had to follow through.

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  • This is an age where they want to have some control over a situation. So on days like that, I usually offer 2-3 choices. "No, you can't wear pajamas; you can wear your yellow shirt or your pink shirt. Which shirt should mommy put on you?" That usually does the trick.
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  • My 2 yo often wants to wear pj's to school. On these days, I'll get her hair brushed, teeth brushed and as we are at the door about to walk out, I change her into clothes. She usually lets me without hesitation and if she throws a fit-so be it. Shoes-on the other hand....I let her pick her shoes and if they are inappropriate for DC (open toe sandals) I will switch them out in the classroom without problems. In conclusion, I let my 2 yo wear what she wants a little bit longer and it feels like a nice compromise.
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  • My 3yr old DD fights me on clothes all.the.time. For the most part I let her choose as long as it's weather appropriate. It's frustrating b/c she only wants to wear dresses and she has tons of other clothes.

    There was also a day recently when she wouldn't get out of bed and get ready for school. I threw some clothes on her, then she freaked out b/c she didn't want to wear it. I told her she wasn't listening to mommy so she didn't get to pick. She cried all the way to school and pulled her shirt off when we got inside. I told her she could either put her shirt back on or pick one from her cubby. She picked out a shirt from her cubby and that was the end of it.
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  • DS has always been picky about clothes.  At that age I would just dress him and let him cry.  Now that he's older we pick out clothes for the week on Sundays.  He gets a say (to a point) on what to wear.  If he complains throughout the week I just remind him that he chose those outfits on the weekend and can't change his mind.

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  • For the most part, if DD wants to wear something that's appropriate for the weather and meets the school's rules, I let her wear it.  She's so stubborn about so many things that I hate to add one more battle about control over something that's not really a big deal.  At almost 4 yrs., DD still wears some wacky outfits occasionally and doesn't seem traumatized by other kids reacting to it.  I think you have plenty of time to let it go in this phase before without it turning into a long-term issue that will have dire consequences.
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  • My oldest daughter has had an opinion on clothes since she was about 2, and DD2 is now starting to show somewhat of an opinion as well. I'm a big fan of giving options. For DD2 (she is 22 months), I'll hold up 2 things and ask her to pick. This works well for her. She's always happy to pick one of the items I've picked for her.  DD1 is a bit harder. For her, I'll ask what she wants to wear. If she doesn't quickly choose something, I narrow it to 2 choices. If she doesn't quickly pick one of them, I tell her I'm going to count to 3 and if she doesn't choose, I'll choose for her. That almost always works. I also let them pick shoes and jackets.
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  • I have my kids pick out what to wear the night before and lay it out.  That way we are not rushed in the morning with being indecisive or not wanting to change.  If they did cry/whine etc. I would just change them.  I'm not one to let the kids leave the house in their PJ's
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  • My almost 3 y/o is VERY picky about his clothes (ie "No, mommy, I want the orange shirt with FIVE trucks, not the yellow shirt with ONE truck.") I don't love the idea of dressing a kicking screaming toddler into what I want him to wear- I'm pretty particular about my clothes too, so I understand. However, it's not wise for me to be late to work because the scrubs I want are not dry yet, and it's my job to teach him wise vs foolish ideas. So, on the vast majority of days he wears whatever he wants (truck shirts... always trucks shirts, haha). I only force the issue if he wants to wear something not appropriate for the situation or dirty, or if we have.to.leave.NOW.

    I'll also say that he wears clean t-shirts that fit to sleep in, so if he wants to wear it the next day, whatever.
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  • My 3.5 year old DD has been picky about her clothes for a while.  First, I make sure there is only seasonally appropriate stuff in her closet to chose from.  I also give her choices: do you want to wear a dress today, or shirt and shorts?  Then, it's not so overwhelming.  She only has school appropriate shoes out, so she only has a choice of 4 pairs.  She's never asked to wear pjs to school - I don't know how we got around that - I think she just knows pjs are what we wear to bed, and going to school is not bed. :)  She's also pretty accepting of when I tell her that something is dirty and in the hamper if she wants to wear a specific shirt.  She doesn't always pick out matching stuff, but when she does, I make it a point to show her how her clothes match, and she seems to be catching on.
  • I would let DS wear the pj shirt but give him the choice of 2 other shirts. At that age they just want a choice.
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