Childcare for appointments?

bcw2009 · October 2013

Hey Ladies,
Still being new to the secondary IF treatment routine...I am feeling very overwhelmed about finding childcare for all these upcoming appointments!! For those of you who stay at home or don't have routine childcare for your children on a daily basis-what do you do about the frequent and sometimes last minute appts? Like I said, I am just beginning and only had to find people to keep my child for bloodwork/us, HSG and follow-up appt with the RE for this month and that felt like a lot! I can't imagine once I actually start treatment cycles?!?! CD 1 stress already

KC1212 · October 2013

Good question. I have zero advice because I am a stay at home mom and will be faced with this dilemma myself if/when we seek treatment.

I wouldn't dare bring my DS to an appointment though, out of respect for those in the waiting rooms,etc. who are currently undergoing treatment for primary IF; especially since I've been on that side of the road.

Is there a church around with a mom's day out program?

I couldn't turn to family as we are VERY in the closet...

Good Luck.

+SouthernMomma+ · October 2013

That's a tough one. My daughter is almost 7, so she is in school. I TRY to schedule all my appointments to be done while she is in school. On the days that are last minute, I pretty much beg people too keep her. I have a hard time bringing her to any appointment because there are other people there that don't even have 1 child. I don't want to upset anyone, but sometimes its just not always possible to get childcare when you need it right away. :-/

Good luck, wish I could have been more help..

KC1212 · October 2013

+SouthernMomma+ said:
That's a tough one. My daughter is almost 7, so she is in school. I TRY to schedule all my appointments to be done while she is in school. On the days that are last minute, I pretty much beg people too keep her. I have a hard time bringing her to any appointment because there are other people there that don't even have 1 child. I don't want to upset anyone, but sometimes its just not always possible to get childcare when you need it right away. :-/
Good luck, wish I could have been more help..

Sorry, didn't mean to sound snarky or whatever. 7 is a less painful age than say a toddler or an infant (for me, speaking from past ) so you're probably fine

+SouthernMomma+ · October 2013

KC1212 said:

That's a tough one. My daughter is almost 7, so she is in school. I TRY to schedule all my appointments to be done while she is in school. On the days that are last minute, I pretty much beg people too keep her. I have a hard time bringing her to any appointment because there are other people there that don't even have 1 child. I don't want to upset anyone, but sometimes its just not always possible to get childcare when you need it right away. :-/
Good luck, wish I could have been more help..
Sorry, didn't mean to sound snarky or whatever. 7 is a less painful age than say a toddler or an infant (for me, speaking from past ) so you're probably fine

I know, But you never know where people are at in this emotional roller coaster. I just don't want to risk hurting someone by making them look at/or sit by my daughter, and as many times as that child says "Mommy" ... I don't want anyone to feel hurt. idk, I hear yah.. its just how I feel though. Better safe than sorry, right? :-/

bcw2009 · October 2013

Thanks for your responses ladies! To be completely honest I go back and forth on the topic constantly (depending on my mood). I always have total and complete empathy for the women who are going through IF the "first time around" and out of respect for them most of the time I feel as if I should never bring my 4yo with me. Then there are other times that I am so totally overwhelmed/frustrated with my situation that I feel like my options may be to bring him with me or to not persue treatment. I know this is extreme-but as I said I am still working through the start of this process. I would obviously put him in a corner with a movie/earphones and maybe ask them to put me in a room as soon as possible? I guess I should also ask if I am even allowed to bring him? I guess for now I will do everything in my power to find childcare (including look around for drop-in childcare type places-we just moved from out of state so I am still getting to know our new town). He does go to preschool but honestly those days are harder because by the time I drop him off I have 2.5hrs to get back there to pick him up and worry the whole time I will be late. I have to drive 30min each way to my RE. In the off chance that I am faced with the option of bringing him or not going to an appt I will hope that anyone who sees him knows that although we are in different "places" in this journey IF takes a toll on all different types of families and I am struggling too or else I wouldn't be there in the office

Thanks again with your input as I work through all these thoughts/feelings...

gmc222 · October 2013

My RE has a special waiting room for those who need to bring their children with them, which is really nice. Maybe you could ask your RE's office if something like that is available?

cerad5 · October 2013

Our RE had us sign a "no child" policy so no matter what we can't bring our DD to any appt or procedure. I completely understand but it does mean we have to find someone. I work FT so luckily she can be at daycare.

Momarazzi007 · October 2013

I have no choice but to bring dd w me

I remember first cycles where people would come on w 4 children and I'd be like, WTF are you doing here?!?!? The ones w one kid I'd be like, I wonder if the had primary like me and were finally about to complete their family. It is tough either way, but you need to do what is best for you and I love that you are caring and thinking of the other women just starting their journies! I try to tell my daughter why we are there and say things like, "This is where we got you and where we will get your little sister or brother!" And she'll ask, "Baby?" And I think that helps me explain my situation without telling people. Maybe, maybe not. But at least I'm not that woman with five girls and it just kills me that isn't good enough they have to do sorting for a boy (of take another girl any day! Husband feels same!). Anyway, good luck on your journey, it gets easier!

KC1212 · October 2013

I think an older child if no other options exist and RE is OK with it is fine in a pinch.

However, I still maintain that it is poor social tact to bring a child to an appointment for IF.

I'm not trying to argue and I can't say I wouldn't bring DS if I absolutely had to but it would have to be a last resort.

On the other hand I would call and see if they could stick you in a room, any room if you had to bring LO to an appointment. I think someone mentioned that already but it seems like a reasonable compromise to the situation. I wouldn't let it keep you from pursuing treatment. I would just make the office aware of it and I'm sure they can accommodate you in a manner that is least disruptive to their other patients.

While I love a friendly debate, I feel that at the end we all just have to agree to disagree.

Good Luck!

ally510 · October 2013

What time does your clinic open and what time does your DH/SO leave in the morning? My clinic starts seeing people for blood work and ultrasounds at 6:00AM. I go that early because I work. But if yours also opens early, maybe you could go before your DH/SO leaves in the morning. I was there before 6:00 this morning and was done by 6:20.

Good luck!

Jen071407 · October 2013

I do everything I can to not bring my DDs to appts, which usually means asking friends that are a SAHM or SAHD to watch them. There has been one time that childcare fell through and I had to bring dd2. I just want to be respectful of those struggling with primary.

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