I confess.....

JBDamonM · October 2013

I just stirred the pot on my BMB.

Someone posted how she is pregnant after just one round of unprotected sex and how she's freaking out and how she feels bad for her LO bc shes still just a baby.

I politely told her that she gets no sympathy from me. Accidents happen when birth control fails and she should feel blessed to be growing a new life, an opportunity that not everyone gets....

I suppose it's the IF in me talking, and I'm sure we can all agree how annoying comments like that are.... THat being said, I probably didn't need to add my two cents, but I just couldn't help it!

TJ1979 · October 2013

I get really irritated at comments like that too. It's not like she didn't know that pregnancy was a possibility if she was having unprotected sex.

JennyVinny · October 2013

If she didn't want to hear other people's honest opinions, she shouldn't have posted in the first place. FWIW: I agree with you.

JBDamonM · October 2013

I'm getting a little flamed for it, but I don't really care. I know this is something people can't get unless they experience the possibility of never having kids, but come on.....if you're not prepared to have another baby, use protection!

pantsarella · October 2013

I agree with you. I learned in middle school that if you have sex, you can get pregnant. (If only that worked in our case, lol) She's an adult and she knew it could happen.

ETA: Also, we aren't using protection and likely never will. Our RE gave us a <1% chance of every conceiving on our own. If I get pregnant before we plan to go for an FET, I'd be happy. Because it'd be a damn miracle.

kmc84 · October 2013

JennyVinny said:
If she didn't want to hear other people's honest opinions, she shouldn't have posted in the first place. FWIW: I agree with you.

All of this! No sympathy from me either. You had unprotected sex. Did you really not understand the risk???? Ugg.

JBDamonM · October 2013

pantsarella said:

I agree with you. I learned in middle school that if you have sex, you can get pregnant. (If only that worked in our case, lol) She's an adult and she knew it could happen.

ETA: Also, we aren't using protection and likely never will. Our RE gave us a <1% chance of every conceiving on our own. If I get pregnant before we plan to go for an FET, I'd be happy. Because it'd be a damn miracle.

This is us too. While we weren't given an actual percentage, my DH's numbers are even lower than yours so I know it would also be a miracle.

That being said AF is actually late right now, but yeah......I'm not silly enough to read into it!

IBackBevo · October 2013

Eh. I would not worry about it. BMBs are a different creature than the IF/after-IF boards.

I've been flamed on mine before for pointing out that a person's story was unlikely from a medical perspective...then a nurse and some other people who had been in the same situation backed me up...and they got flamed, too. Oh well. I didn't lose sleep over it.

And, btw, I agree with you. We all know how babies are made. If you get pregnant despite using a condom and the pill and NFP, then maybe I can see where you might be like, "WTH?" But if you aren't using any birth control, it can't possibly he that big of a surprise.

phishgirl29 · October 2013

There's already 2 ladies on the June 13' board pregnant again. For the most part everyone has been supportive, but there are a ton of "better you then me" comments. I'm happy for them...... Jealous even, but content with one right now

IBackBevo · October 2013

@phishgirl29 - Yeah, 2U1 would be tough. But I also would rather have my hands full for awhile than have my arms empty.

phishgirl29 · October 2013

@IBackBevo don't get me wrong. As soon as I get my period back I'll be on the TTC wagon again. I was 18 months younger than my sister and I loved it!

fabulouspinkmady · October 2013

I totally creeped on your BMB and read the thread, LOL... her H wasn't even on board with #3 and yet they didn't use protection? Sorry, honey, you knew it was a possibility! No need to be all "woe is me," just be grateful and move on... people just don't get it.

Several people in my office are PG, and even though I'm not even thinking about # 3 yet, it still stings a little.

mcgeeva · October 2013

Eh I would say the same! Those of us who pays grands and went through so much - have every right to voice that!

Dragonfly1226 · October 2013

IBackBevo said:

@phishgirl29 - Yeah, 2U1 would be tough. But I also would rather have my hands full for awhile than have my arms empty.

Well said.

JBDamonM · October 2013

fabulouspinkmady said:

I totally creeped on your BMB and read the thread, LOL... her H wasn't even on board with #3 and yet they didn't use protection? Sorry, honey, you knew it was a possibility! No need to be all "woe is me," just be grateful and move on... people just don't get it.

Several people in my office are PG, and even though I'm not even thinking about # 3 yet, it still stings a little.

HAHAHAHAH! First off - i LOVE that you creeped!

second - "just be grateful and move on" --- THIS! No tolerance for the freaking out, although she took my comments fairly well. It's everyone else that has their panties in a bunch!

I hear ya on the stinging. It's weird to me - I'm not ready for number 2 yet either, but every time I hear about one of my friends getting preggo I get this twinge of jealousy. Personally I think it's because I miss actually being pregnant, and until I'm done having kids I will always have a fear on the back burner that I won't be able to get pregnant again. Good old IF brain!

TJ1979 · October 2013

Okay, after reading @fabulouspinkmady's confession, I totally creeped too. I thought the way you worded it was cognizant of others' feelings. And she did take it well, while others got all up in arms for no reason. I think it was perfectly legit for you to remind her to be thankful for what she has. The sting of IF will never leave us.

laura1 · October 2013

Please don't flame me, but I can kind of see how she feels. Now, I haven't read her post, I am just going off of what was said here, but no matter how open you are to it happening, when it does happen it is a little scary. When I got my surprise BFP with #2, we weren't using birth control, and I hadn't had a ppAF yet. Obviously we knew what could happen and we were totally open to having 2 close together - as you said it is better to have your hands full than empty. However, when I did get my BFP with my DS sitting outside the bathroom in his exersaucer, I did freak a little. Was I happy to have another? Of course! It was just scary looking at my 7 month old baby knowing he was going to be a big brother.

When we decided to try for #3, I stopped BC after DD's first birthday. After a few months, we figured our surprise BFP was just a miracle and our IF was "back". Then I got a BFP - and again I freaked out. I already had 2 healthy kids, what was I doing trying for another? What if I died in childbirth, who would watch my other 2? How were we really going to afford 3 kids, especially if #3 ended up with something wrong with them? I was started to hyperventilate looking at my BFP. After a few days, I was happy with it again, and excited...then I m/c. When I got my BFP again, I had already been through that roller coaster and was just happy. But I still had all the same worries - thankfully I survived childbirth, DD#2 is healthy (knock on wood), and we are surviving just fine so far (again, knock on wood!).

So while I totally understand where you are all coming from, I can kind of see the other side, too!

RoseHQ12 · October 2013

It's hard to bite your tongue when you hear these stories. I only lurk on my BMB & that's one of the reasons why.

Saraevh · October 2013

RoseHQ12 said:

It's hard to bite your tongue when you hear these stories. I only lurk on my BMB & that's one of the reasons why.

This. I lurk occasionally, but I feel like I just can't relate ... even though I've had two 'surprise' bfp's lol. That feeling of not knowing whether or not you'll ever be able to have a family while everyone else around you gets knocked up after 2 weeks of being off the pill or is pregnant with an oopsie baby is a feeling I probably will never be able to forget. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!

imoverit · October 2013

Good for you for saying how you felt!!

MoFree · October 2013

I agree with all of you how annoying this is. At least she admits to unprotected sex. On my BMB there seems to be a huge number of women who conceive while taking the pill on schedule, or so they profess. I have also seen posts of women concerned about being KU even though their DH had a vasectomy.

Want a personalized experience?

I confess.....

Re: I confess.....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards