Anyone PG with #3 or more? Deciding on whether to try for #4.

NicoleWI · September 2013

We have 3 lovely kids, born when I was almost 34, almost 36, and almost 38. DH and I are/were both leaning towards being done as three under 5 is pretty overwhelming and we always kind of thought 3 would be our number. But, I can't say for sure that we're done. And I'm realizing that if we want to have a fourth before forty or early into 40, we'd actually need to start trying AGAIN within the next few months. This seems crazy! Is it crazy to go for #4 as an older parent??

Cons: We're tired. The kids are crazy. We have been so lucky to have 3 healthy pregnancies and 3 healthy kids. We'd be plunging back into the unknown, with higher risks. Never had a m/c; would be risking going through that. DS had reflux and was a VERY hard baby. Our 3rd has been a breeze and we feel so lucky, but a fourth could be like DS again and then I might have a breakdown (kidding, I think). Going through late pregnancy/infancy stage again. Will a fourth hold up our family too much from moving on to other kinds of family activities?

Pros: We have a minivan and a big enough house anyway. I am leaving my job so will have more time to manage things at home. We wouldn't look back in years to come and wonder if we should have had another. DD will be in 5K next year so one will already be in school (sad) so we wouldn't have all of them at home all the time while taking care of the new baby.

The problem with being an older parent is you don't have time to wait and see how you feel later! We will kind of need to decide for sure soon. Also, we have been incredibly lucky and conceived quickly each time. I hope we will be lucky again but there is no guarantee. And on the other hand, if we don't want a fourth, we probably should do something about birth control soon, too.

kw42775 · September 2013

I'm 38 and pregnant with my first...but a good friend of mine is 38 and has five LO's (ages 1, 4, 6, 7, & 9)!

domsgirl1 · September 2013

I am 38 and pregnant with my 4th. My 3 are ages; 3,5, and 12. We decided last year to try for #4 and we have had 2 miscarriages since then, I am hoping that this little one sticks. I am 9w2d.

RNmommyof2 · September 2013

I'm 36, my husband is 49 and I'm pregnant with #3. We have a 20 month old and an 11 year old - we're done.

kelley72 · September 2013

34 sounds young to me! I'm 41 and pg with my fifth child. To me there are no cons to another love in my life. I wish you and your dh well on your decision and journey. I guess I just can't imagine being 70 (or any age) and saying dang I wish we hadn't had child x....

kelley72 · September 2013

also I understand where you are coming from believing that your past ease of conception doesn't mean you will easily conceive again but I think you are wrong, you have absolutely no reason to believe you will not... just another way of looking at it but other than being x months older what based on your history makes you believe you won't conceive easily?

LucyRicardo3 · September 2013

I'm 37, DH is 46 and I have #5 on the way. It is a very personal decision. I had my oldest with my first marriage and my DH was also previously married with no kids. We got married 6 years ago and we've caught up pretty quickly, lol. That being said, my pregnancies have been high risk due to preterm labor issues, etc, but in the larger picture of things, it's been 100% worth it to me.
I am done after this one gets here, but we will still consider fostering or adoption if that opportunity comes our way.
Yes, I am tired 90% of the time, but DH is very supportive and an awesome dad. He works 65+hrs a week and I am a SAHM and we make a great team. Never in a million years did I ever think this would be my life as a grown up but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Best wishes in your decision.

ScorpioMum · September 2013

I'm 41 and pregnant with #5. My oldest is 13 and my youngest is 5. I am a SAHM and I also home school. Everyone is super excited about having a baby in the house. I thought we were done at 4 but this baby just feels right. I'm having to start over though as the other kids are fairly independent.

MrsLeanna · September 2013

This is #3 for me and we are done. We were actually done at 2 but God has other plans apparently. I think we all just "know". We have wavered for a bit on #3 and had recently decided that we would stop at 2, so we're ok with it, however I KNOW that this will be our last, I do not have the same back and forth in my head that I did about #3 - kind of what you're saying. My hubby will be getting a vasectomy before this one is born.

You may say in the future - I wish we would have had that 4th child, but if you have the 4th, you will never say - I shoudln't have had the 4th child.

rcbuko · September 2013

I am 4 1/2 weeks pregnant with our fourth. Our kids are 5, 3, and 10 months old. The two youngest will be 19 months apart and my oldest will turn 6 a week after this baby is due.

My husband wanted a fourth kid when I was pregnant with our third. I was not so sure and actually was leaning more towards not having a fourth. We had a surprise BFP when DS was 8 months old. It was the first surprise BFP we ever had and though it ended in miscarriage, it made me think of all the solutions to the questions I had about having a fourth. We waited one cycle to TTC and were successful the first month. Betas look good and my first ultrasound is October 8th.

I had a lot of the same concerns as you. Life is crazy. I actually have had four miscarriages and know how unpleasant that is. I have three healthy amazing kids and fear about being that lucky again. Basically, we put all our fears to the back of our minds and went for it. I am sure it will be a hectic few years but think we will be thrilled down the road when we have a large happy family.

DezignedByFaith · September 2013

I'm pregnant with number 4 and this is it for me. I'm 38 and my kids are like 5 to 6 years apart.

2ndGeneration · September 2013

I say go for it : ))) I'm trying as well. I am 42 and have 5 kiddos ages 20-10. So older than yours, it's different. But it goes so fast and soon yours will be doing more for themselves and it takes the burdens off mom and dad! And it's been fun seeing this whole group grow up. Yeah, we're tired!!!! hahaha

Dh and I feel like, we like having kids and if we try, we won't have to wonder 'what if' even if we don't end up with another, at least we tried vs. not trying and always wondering. Just my opinion.

samiaf · September 2013

This will be number 7 by birth. I am 42 and DH is 46. We couldn't be happier. If it is what you want , go for it.

JennyCraig · October 2013

I'm having my third and we are definitely done after this one. I think three is more than enough for us but it depends on how much you can handle I think. If you think you'd like another and don't mind the lack of sleep, then go for it!!

JennyCraig · October 2013

Forgot to mention that I am 35 and my DH is 42.

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Anyone PG with #3 or more? Deciding on whether to try for #4.

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