Surprised by how much you DON'T want another?

hoping2bamommy21 · October 2013

I see there have been a few other random drive by posts - and I am tempted to type "I'M PREGNANT WITH #2!!!" so I can giggle at the "who the hell are you" responses and clever GIFs. My post is kind of related to all of the July 2012 moms who are pregnant (and in a few cases already done being pregnant) with the next one.

Is anyone else surprised at how much they DON'T want another baby at this point? Prior to TTC baby #1 I was quick to tell people I would be happy with one kid...eventually. All of a sudden I felt an overwhelming feeling that eventually was upon me - resulting in DD. Although I originally claimed to be one and done, in the back of my head I thought it probably wouldn't take much to convince me to have a second.

DD is the best toddler I could ask for - pretty much always smiley,very social, eats well, sleeps well, etc. I am exaggerating - she certainly has her not so fabulous moments - but with a baby that most would consider "easy" I am totally surprised that I have absolutely zero interest in ever having another baby. I know I may change my mind someday, but it is just very interesting to me the way I feel at this point. Also interesting that both my mom and husband have pointed out that they would have expected me to be jumping on number two (or at least speaking like there was potentially a number two in the future at some point).

So I am curious - anyone else surprised at how little interest you have in ever having another kid?

hoping2bamommy21 · October 2013

hijoi said:

A little, maybe. I knew we were done after V was born. Actually, we knew we were done when the second pink line showed, no matter what happened. I haven't had a moment if jealousy with all the BFPs not at the squishy newborns. They're cute, but no thanks. I can wait to hold another baby until my 20 year old SIL has kids or one of mine does. For the record, until Nathaniel turned a year old, I thought we were done. That kid put me through hell when he was a baby. But I tell you what, I'm glad that there's no pressure on us as to when we're having another (there was after N was born) but it always irks me when people assume that since we have a boy and a girl we are automatically done. That's not why we're done.

In regards to the bolded - I can see how both sides of that can be frustrating (first having one and people asking if you are going to try for the opposite, and then having one of each and people assuming there is no reason why you would want/should have any more). My MIL has already asked if we are "going to try for another to keep the family name alive" - since it is one of her less annoying comments I just smile and nod!!

sarahandeddiejune212008 · October 2013

I'm not in a huge hurry for #3. DD#1 was 14 months when I got pg with DD#2. It was a surprise bfp and after the past year I would never have kids so close together on purpose!

breezyblueyez · October 2013

I always wanted two but now id say one and done. I feel bad saying it because he is amazing but I don't think I have it in me.

nesenotes · October 2013

I sometimes get a pang. I wanted two. In think the tough part for me is my logic sets in and I start amplifying how much more difficult life with two would be as opposed to one. I feel like we have a great thing going. Am I going to ruin it and hate myself if I add another? Idk. Part of me wants to get it over with for my kid ton have a friend for life. But then a huge part of me knows that's not how I should feel about having another child. So I'm just going to wait and see if my feelings change. For now I'm fine with bit just being the two of us.

ashleynaka · October 2013

I am super torn right now because like most others have expressed, it works nicely now and I would hate to mess it up. I know it would give us almost a year once a BFP shows up, but I also realize how fast the last year has flown by. For now, we are happy.

StokedWifey · October 2013

I have always known that I wanted 2 kids because I hated being an only child. We still do want two, but are in no hurry whatsoever. Bryson was an easy baby, is an incredible toddler and I love where we are right now. One of my best friends has a 1 month old, and I expected to get baby fever when he was born. Nope. Didn't happen. I loved snuggling him, but his tininess and frailness, along with all of her worries and fatigue, reminded me that having a newborn is hard and I am just soooooo not ready for that yet.

britbratjf · October 2013

Like stoked I have always wanted 2 kids. Dagny was an easy baby and is a fun, easy toddler but I have no desire to have another for a few years. Some people can handle 2 close together but I am not one of those people. My niece and nephew are 3.5 and 2 and being around them stresses me out, I couldn't imagine it I was in the situation, it is not for me. I want to enjoy our family of 3 for a few more years before adding a new baby.

punkyshoester · October 2013

I'm in grad school for another year, so the thought of having two right now is overwhelming. We will hold off until I graduate...at least. We will see how I feel then. I honestly can't imagine life with two right now. Things are hectic as it is! Plus, the one we have is a maniac!

potatoe6 · October 2013

We have 3 kids total, and they are spread out in ages, we keep thinking it would be great for Becca to have a sibling close to her age, so she has someone to play with and relate to, but to go through the baby stage again, it's not too appealing, plus the cost of daycare, we couldn't afford.

I guess what I am saying is we are good with what we have, but who knows in another year (that would be latest as we are getting up there and don;t want to be the old parents on the playground).

lnd1031 · October 2013

Yeah, I'm on the fence. Some days I want 2, others I'm fine with just having 1. I worry about how having 2 would work logistically with our busy lives.

H wants another for sure, but for now at least, we are both in agreement that discussion about #2 won't happen for at least another year.

Kdoy705 · October 2013

punkyshoester said:

I'm in grad school for another year, so the thought of having two right now is overwhelming. We will hold off until I graduate...at least. We will see how I feel then. I honestly can't imagine life with two right now. Things are hectic as it is! Plus, the one we have is a maniac!

Same thing here - I cannot imagine doing my masters thesis while pregnant. I know a lot of ladies can do it no problem, including one person in my class who is currently pregnant...but I'm holding off even considering #2 until next May. And, getting a job and a much bigger house too. Lots of stuff to knock off before another baby makes sense for us.

snickersforeveryone · October 2013

I wanted two or three, I'm pregnant with the second. Like Joi pointed out, I have those moments of "WTF did I do???" I look at Em and wonder how we will ever love a second the same way, or worry that she'll feel replaced in our affection, or some other nonsense.

However, pregnancy and I don't mix well, and Em was/is SUPER high maintenance...I'm definitely done after this. Forget having three. And I'm really, really not looking forward to those first few months or so of having a newborn, being that exhausted, AND dealing with a toddler. @-)

pinkangelmoon · October 2013

I'm actually surprised at how open I am about having another kid. I only wanted two kids and well...I got them both at once. And boy and a girl. Great, but I'm just not ready to say I'm done. DH says he's okay with having only two, but I can see him changing his mind once the twins get older. Every once in a while I get a slight case of baby fever but it doesn't last long. DH is a HUGE help but I can't imagine being outnumbered. I love our family of four for now.

APendola · October 2013

I used to think that I wanted three kids...but sometimes I'm not sure about having more than one. I love my girl, she's amazing - but it just seems overwhelming to add another kid to the mix and to go through pregnancy, childbirth and having a tiny little baby all over again.

DH and I have started to talk about having another...sometimes I think we only want to have another because we think we should or we want to have a baby for DD more than for ourselves. So, no plans yet!

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