Frustrated

AandStilltrying · October 2013

So we tested this morning...BFN. AGAIN!!!! I am really really frustrated. We can't afford to do IVF since our insurance won't cover it. It is $8,000 to try 1 time here with a Fresh, or $12,000 to have 3 chances with 1 fresh and 2 frozen. IUI is really our only option right now until S. Company sells and we get the payout. I am so sad! I really thought this time was going to be it. Had such a good feeling about it. UGH. Feeling super depressed and trying not to show it as it only makes things worse with S.

wishiwaspreggo · October 2013

So sorry, @AandStilltrying

BFNs are super disappointing! Was this with your new donor? I recall you said something about your last vials having low motility. Hope AF doesn't leave you hanging too long so you can try again soon.

AandStilltrying · October 2013

This was the same guy, Unfortunately we bought 5 vials of him because we learned with our first donor (we got 3 of) that if and when we need more there is a good chance it would be gone. They wouldn't let us exchange, so we were stuck with 4 more of the same guy. So the RE used 2 vials, but both of these vials tested way better then the last. I don't know what to do now. We thought of trying a different sperm bank. Does anybody have any recommendations for a good bank? We went with California the past 2 times we have ordered.

Thanks @wishiwaspreggo.

wishiwaspreggo · October 2013

California wouldn't let you send it back? Really? That's terrible! Those vials are so expensive as it is, and to not get what you paid for... Wow. I'd complain - loudly. California has such a good reputation, too. We were going to go with them originally but decided to go with Fairfax because they'll give you a 5th vial for free if you're not pregnant after 4 tries. Seems like they believe in their quality enough since the vials are so costly... That sold us.

But honestly, my experience with them has been great so far. When we called to have our vials shipped to my new RE, they told me they found a genetic issue with our donor and said he was under investigation. They offered to let us switch donors at no cost, so we decided to look around more. They gave us a free 3 month subscription with full access including personality reports and lifetime photos! We'd originally only gotten the 2nd tier access which was $150 as opposed to $300, so it was really generous they did that for us. It made our search a lot easier in the end and we found a new donor. They'll have offers periodically, too. We got 10% off our order and free storage. The staff is really professional and compassionate. I've been really happy with them so far.

Other folks on this board may have differing opinions, but I thought I'd give you mine FWIW I really hope California Cryobank comes around! They should stand behind their specimens and give you a refund if the motility was so poor.

AandStilltrying · October 2013

They gave us a $750 credit (cost of 1 vial). Basically they sent us a letter not admitting fault and saying that it could have been shipping or how it was thawed, but gave us a credit.

That was after our RE spoke to them weekly. He was so upset with them that they are no longer a recommended bank with our donor.

So we still have 2 of this guy and 1 credit with them. Just got out of shower and can't stop crying. A close work friend just had her baby this morning and sent pics. Ugh! Everybody around me is prego. and we can't seem to catch a break here. I don't get it. Everything looked PERFECT.

KH826 · October 2013

@AandStilltrying - Hi, I am so sorry to hear that you had another BFN. This was your 5th IUI? I had 5 failed IUIs too, I understand how frustrating that can feel. Honestly, my experience with IUI was that it is really a crap shoot -- odds are 10-15% that each attempt will work. Some people get pregnant on the first try, and others don't get pregnant after 10 tries -- there are sooooo many factors, and really a big part of it just seems to be luck and timing. I know that is not encouraging, per se - it is just the reality of the process... doesn't make it any less stressful... I am not in anyway trying to paint the IUI process negatively, as I know MANY who have had success with it, but for me, I only saw the frustrating parts and never got to experience the reward...

In terms of cryobanks... we went with Fairfax for our first 3 vials, but then we switched donors and banks for vials 4-6. We wanted to try a new donor, and we had heard of less expensive options with other banks, so we thought we would explore that since we were also paying out of pocket for everything. We ended up going with NW Cryobank for vials 4-6, and we had a great experience with them. They have vials that are only $300 per vial plus shipping, which is half the price of some other places. We weren't successful with IUIs #4 or #5 with that sperm (but that isn't the sperm or the bank's fault). We decided to move to IVF after the 5th IUI (for mainly financial and emotional reasons) and we used our 6th and final vial of sperm for that. We had 16 embryos fertilize with that sperm, and 12 of them made it to Day 5 blasts. So the sperm was clearly stellar.

Anyway, I hope that you and your wife are able to comfort eachother through this and decide on the next steps in your journey that are right for you. Sending you lots of supportive thoughts!

ATXmommas · October 2013

So sorry about the BFN and the overall frustrating experience of TTC.

Just wanted to say that I used Fairfax as well. Although pricey, I have been really pleased with my experience. Of the 5 vials we have gone through, all 5 were stellar. We bought 9 vials at one time, which got us one free vial (so we paid for 8), 2 years free storage, and free shipping (luckily, Fairfax has a cryobank in Austin, so we were able to ship all 9 at once for free). Best of luck moving forward.

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