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How do you know it's time to move on?

mae0111mae0111 member
in Working Moms
I've been at my company for 12 years, working for my current manager for 11. For a number of reasons, I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Too much work, not enough resources. The stress level is high. The politics are crushing, and the best suck ups are consistently rewarded, even when the royally screw up. I only feel like I have my managers support some of the time. On the plus side, I am paid well. Not at the top of my range, but pretty well. I have some flexibility, and I WFH twice a week. If I can stay on for about 5 more years of vesting cycles and the stock doesn't plummet, we will have enough to pay for college for our 2 kids. I'm starting to feel this job suck the life out of me. I'm worried about it all the time. I feel like I should be working constantly, and that even if I did, I would never catch up. I'm tired of watching my back all the time, waiting for a colleague to shove me under the bus. I'm tired of missing my family all the time. I thought I could stick it out for 5 more years, until my youngest is in school full time. But I'm doubting myself. I'm doing a poor job everywhere. I'm ineffective as an employee, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Leaving would be a colossally bad decision financially, but possibly a good decision personally. Any advice? I'm so torn.
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Re: How do you know it's time to move on?

  • mae0111mae0111 member
    Sorry no paragraphs... I swear I put them in... Stupid iPad...
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  • aglennaglenn member
    Why not start looking and see what is out there?  It may not be such a financial disaster as you think, and your sanity does have some value as well.  Or are you debating quitting to SAH? 
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  • mae0111mae0111 member
    Thank you all. You're right - I do sometimes feel like I'm losing my mind. I would have to find something else, but I could take about a 50% pay cut and we'd be ok. We've been trying to live below our means, funnelling much of my pay into savings for long-term house projects or paying cash for smaller ones. I feel like it would be a bad decision because of the stock I'd lose. I'd be leaving 65%of my salary on the table. Seems like a waste in some ways, and a small price to pay for happiness on the other. I appreciate the points of view. I need to get my resume and LinkedIn profile in order...
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  • iverske9iverske9 member
    I would look, you do not have to leave your current job. I had a great job but I could feel my brain dying slowly. So I started looking around and found I could be selective since I already had a job. I have just started an amazing new job and love it. Looking will never hurt
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  • Virgo17Virgo17 member
    I agree with PP, start looking around to see what is out there.  If nothing else, you could use a job opportunity to leverage some changes at your current company. 

    It's unclear if you have a decent relationship with your manager.  However, maybe you could set up a meeting to discuss your workload and some potential resolutions so you don't feel like you are losing it in the meantime.

    Also, if this job pays well enough and you have some disposable income, look at things you could outsource to make your role as wife and mother a little less stressful.  That would at least provide some relief in one area of your life.
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  • *sparky**sparky* member
    With the stock issue in mind, is a departmental transfer feasible so you can stay with the company and do you think that would resolve some of the issues or is this environment pervasive throughout the company?  If a departmental transfer would not solve the problem even somewhat then I would start looking elsewhere.  I know it is hard to walk away but it is not worth giving up your peace of mind and day-to-day quality of life for.

     

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  • jd614jd614 member
    I am in your same position and for many of the reasons u named I decided that early next year I will be leaving . I too can take a 50% cut and be ok and if we sold our house to move somewhere smaller I could stay home . I wanted to work until both my kids were in school full time but I'm just not going to make it and life's too short to be so miserable
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  • mae0111mae0111 member
    I used to have a great relationship with my boss.  He largely left me alone, got me help when I needed it, backed me up when I asked for support, etc.  About 18 months ago, things changed.  He got a much bigger C-level job, and the size of the group tripled.  My staff tripled.  My responsibilities at least quadrupled.  I went from being one of 10 direct reports in small-ish group to one of 5 directs in North America in a group of 60+ total.  Budgets are tight, but like many others, we're expected to pull off incredible feats with very little money.  We've had 3 reorgs in the past 2 years, with another one coming.

    Now my boss has his "golden children", those that can do no wrong and basically dictate how everything is run.  Last week, one of them sent a very sensitive and confidential document to her junior staff.  He knows she did it.  In my eyes, it was grounds for termination.  He sent a harshly worded email.  She's now up for the same promotion as me.

    The final blow for me was the release of this highlights reel for the department.  I was the only one of his direct reports not featured.

    I no longer feel that he's approachable.  I have thought about a transfer internally, but it would be a completely different job, which might be tough to do at my level.  But I think I need to reach out to a few folks to see what's out there.
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  • tarynh75tarynh75 member
    Ideally, you would find a new job that would buy out the equity you are leaving on the table. I don't know if this is common practice in your industry, but in most situations, if another company wants you, they will expect to compensate you for what you are leaving on the table. You may have to be realistic about how the outside world values the equity you are leaving behind, but you shouldn't expect to walk away from everything you have earned.
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  • kmplskmpls member
    You are not alone. I have the same issue. I have survived 5 rounds of layoffs. Upper management seems to have little respect for our part of the company and it has been a depressing bitter place to work for the last 3 years. I love my manager but there is so much work and just not enough resources. Yet we are told over and over that business down and we need to work harder. I have a geat reputation, good pay, great manager and I work from home full time but I am miserable. I am scared I will leave and find something even worse and at the loss of working from home with a geat boss, pay!
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  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    I was going to say something similar to the pp---- depending on your industry & your marketability, I would consider the equity as a bargaining item- if you find a job you would want & they really want you, try to work in at least some of it, if they can't meet all? Certainly can't hurt to look around! GL!
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