Wanna know what sucks?

StokedWifey · September 2013

Planning a baby shower for your unmarried, immature 18-year-old cousin. I just looked at her registry and have to stifle the "Don't you think you need bottles" type of questions. She took her boyfriend's sister with her to do the registry- you know, the one who doesn't have kids and thinks she'll need 186 newborn diapers and more toys and cute things than practical ones.

Would I be a snot to completely ignore her registry and get things I know she needs? I almost want to use the money I would normally spend to make a cute shower and apply it to more necessary items. I don't want to play know-it-all mom, but considering they have very little money to buy necessities, I'm torn.

ThePinkSuperhero · September 2013

You should DEFINITELY buy her the things she will actually need.

StokedWifey · September 2013

bellaxanthe said:

Step away from the registry and get things she will need. Don't even think twice about it. Have the people got me things off my registry and half did not. I didn't think twice about it. She will come to appreciate it. Some of the things I loved most were from moms who had been there and done that.

Maybe spend half of what you normally would have on cutesy stuff and the other on necessities? Or decorate with necessities perhaps? Ikea has crazy cheap items. Vases could be sippy cups or bottles. A bunting banner could be bibs. That sort of thing.

Oooo I need to check IKEA when I go to Atlanta in a few weeks. Good call.

StokedWifey · September 2013

Next question. I just remembered I get to shop early at the consignment sale @lewispm and I are doing. Can I buy bibs, etc there and gift them if I use them as decor like @bellaxanthe mentioned?

adorebella · September 2013

StokedWifey said:
Next question. I just remembered I get to shop early at the consignment sale @lewispm and I are doing. Can I buy bibs, etc there and gift them if I use them as decor like @bellaxanthe mentioned?

Yes! If they are already out of the packaging as decor it's unlikely she know they were used anyway.

lewispm · September 2013

I would definitely buy her the things she needs. People rarely stick to the registry anyway and buy what they want (cute clothes are more fun than bottles and burp cloths) so I think she will end up appreciating the necessities even though she doesn't realize it yet.

And I think used items are fine as gifts, as long as they are clean and it's not obvious they are used. So if you use them as decorations first, then I think its 100% OK to gift them.

I actually got a ton of plain white onesies of various sizes at a consignment store and I plan to dye them various colors and use them at my sister's shower for people to decorate. She will never know they are used and I am not out $300 for 30 onesies!

lnd1031 · September 2013

I'm on the decorating with necessities train. I think it's really cute, and practical. And sounds like she needs someone to think practically for her.

StokedWifey · September 2013

mommymaddness said:

Unfortunately I am going to be in the same boat as you, but with my baby sister. She is 19 and in a new relationship and just found out she is KU! I know she will be a great Mom but I am kind of sad for her because she is soo young and this baby is going to be her life now. Her new guy does not want this to be true but so far is still around. She lives with my parents still and they are being very supportive. A few times I have said she could have this or that and she says no because it is ugly. She thinks she is going to need all this new cute stuff yet doesn't have much money at all!! Ahh sorry to invade your post!
Yes buy her what you know she will need. I think used but in good condition stuff is fine! I'm sure when the baby comes and she realizes all the stuff you gave her came in handy she will really appreciate it!

Now that I know how much work kids are and how much they change your life, it breaks my heart that such young kids have babies. There's so much life to experience that having kids hinders. Good luck to your sister!

Yeah, I told my cousin she could go through B's stuff and she wanted to get all new stuff. I get that because I was that way too, but I am also financially secure.

Boing214 · September 2013

There are so many creative ladies on this board! I am tucking these ideas away for when friends of mine start having kids.

StokedWifey · September 2013

Y'all are the best. Thanks for backing me up. I am so afraid of coming off being all judgy and know-it-all because I want her to approach me if she needs help, so y'all really put my mind at ease.

alphahelix · September 2013

I'm in a similar predicament with my BFF, except that the problem is her registry got wiped out like one day after we got the shower invites. So I'm definitely going off-registry.

Like @cbear2010 suggested, I'm doing "a few of our favorite things" in a storage bin that will fit under the crib. I have diapers, wipes, diaper genie refills, nursing pads, lanolin, soothies, wubbanub pacifier, swaddler, bibs, bowls, spoons, sippy cups, books, bath toys, and washcloths. A lot of it was things she didn't register for, like the feeding stuff and toddler bibs. Hopefully it doesn't come across as me being a know-it-all mommy, it's just all stuff that we loved and I hope is practical for her too.

I would definitely buy practical, off-registry stuff in your case too - she will appreciate once that baby gets here!

StokedWifey · September 2013

mommymaddness said:

StokedWifey said:

mommymaddness said:

Unfortunately I am going to be in the same boat as you, but with my baby sister. She is 19 and in a new relationship and just found out she is KU! I know she will be a great Mom but I am kind of sad for her because she is soo young and this baby is going to be her life now. Her new guy does not want this to be true but so far is still around. She lives with my parents still and they are being very supportive. A few times I have said she could have this or that and she says no because it is ugly. She thinks she is going to need all this new cute stuff yet doesn't have much money at all!! Ahh sorry to invade your post!
Yes buy her what you know she will need. I think used but in good condition stuff is fine! I'm sure when the baby comes and she realizes all the stuff you gave her came in handy she will really appreciate it!

Now that I know how much work kids are and how much they change your life, it breaks my heart that such young kids have babies. There's so much life to experience that having kids hinders. Good luck to your sister!

Yeah, I told my cousin she could go through B's stuff and she wanted to get all new stuff. I get that because I was that way too, but I am also financially secure.

Totally agree! It is even more sad that her baby might not have a supportive dad either. She has been dating this guy for like 2 months!!

That makes me so sad. I hope they work out. I'm terrified of the same thing for my cousin. He's supportive now, but has no idea how hard being a parent is and the strain it can cause on relationships.

ashleynaka · September 2013

That would totally irk me too! Buy what she will need for sure! She will thank you later.

StokedWifey · October 2013

Oh, @mommymadness, that makes me so sad. I'm glad she has somewhat of a positive attitude about it. Praying for her as I can imagine it's still hard to handle.

Want a personalized experience?

Wanna know what sucks?

Re: Wanna know what sucks?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards