Announcing pregnancy on Fb? When?

sparkles98 · September 2013

I really want to announce my pregnancy on FB I am just over 12 weeks. We have told some of our close family and friends already. My question is when did you announce? It doesnt have to be on FB but generally to friends etc. I am debating between now and 14 weeks since I will be in the second trimester. I really don't know if I can hold it in for two more weeks tho. My SIL had her miscarriage at 13 weeks and that keeps popping in my head. I know you can miscarry at anytime. I've had two u/s and heard the hb several times. What do you ladies think?

Havlous · September 2013

I had to tell my mom & in laws. They were here when a lady came over to get some info. for a program called "All About Baby". Kind of hard to keep it a secret when someone is here to talk just about your pregnancy history (current & past) & your baby. My mom & in laws have told just about everyone they know. I still haven't announced it on FB. but pry will after my next u/s (NT Scan as far as I know). Good luck in whatever you decide to do. I know it will be what is best for you & your family. I keep telling myself, "Telling people is NOT going to force you to m/c." But with a PgAL brain, it is hard to convince myself of this sometime's.

HopingforChange · September 2013

I announced sometime around 14 weeks on fb, earlier IRL. I am pretty open about our past losses and would have been open about another one as well. If you grieve better privately, wait to announce. Otherwise, go for it and enjoy the experience.

Avion22 · September 2013

We announced on FB at about 13.5 weeks. Parents, siblings, and my boss found out immediately. A few other friends, as well as other family found out after the 12 week mark. Once we had told everyone we wanted to tell (those we didn't want to find out from FB), we did a FB announcement.

It's a littler nerve-wracking having so many people know. But I'm going to start showing pretty soon (or if not showing precisely, looking fat enough that people would probably guess), so it was time to tell a wider audience.

74dragonfly · September 2013

I told people after my NT scan. I was around13/14 weeks. I wanted to make sure the first tri tests were all ok.

kiki1978 · September 2013

I also told everyone after our NT scan. I just felt more optimistic at that point and more excited to share the news with the world.

SoxFan777 · September 2013

My 1 word answer:

NEVER.

People in my life who know me will find out in person, and everyone else will find out eventually.

If you feel like you must announce, I'd absolutely wait till after 20 weeks, or after it's obvious to even strangers that you're showing. My friend announced on FB and then had to "unannounced" after a m/c, which was painful for her. She announced at 11 weeks.

poohbear033 · September 2013

I didn't want to announce on facebook, but ended up doing it a few weeks ago. I think I was around 25 weeks. I just felt hurt by everyone else, that I didn't want to hurt someone the same way. We only announced because DH found out his brother got his girlfriend pregnant and keeping her quiet about it wasn't working well. DH and his brother both agreed that it was fair that we announced/did other things first, since I am due first.

Serenla · September 2013

I will probably say something much much later, but it won't be some huge deal with a posed pic. All of my FB friends are actually people I've met IRL, some are in Japan and some are spread out across the US so I don't see them often and I just don't want to suddenly have a baby and they didn't know what happened.

km_md · September 2013

It really is a personal decision. I never thought that I would be as afraid as I was. I wanted to tell people initially (not on FB, but tell them in person), I felt like I couldn't wait, and I knew that if I did have another loss, I'd want the support of close family and friends. But when it came right down to it, I had a hard time pulling the trigger and didn't end up announcing on FB until 17 or 18 weeks.

SandSunBliss · September 2013

Thats completely up to you. As for me, facebook may not get a formal announcement until I have a baby in my arms this time around. We announced at 14 weeks with the twins and had to take it back at 16 weeks. It was an extremely painful and public process. People were overwhelmingly supportive which was really nice, but I think I will wait much longer this time... While I am trying to be optimistic about this pregnancy, PgAL brain is yelling for me to protect myself a bit. I will be telling people irl at all different stages, but if i only know them well enough to be facebook friends and never Talk, they can wait a little while. Best of luck in whatever you decide is right for you.

AllieSchur · September 2013

With my DD I didn't technically announce. I made a thank you status update after my baby shower, just thanking the hosts. I was 30 plus weeks at that point.

cpm1223 · September 2013

Do it whenever you're comfortable.

For me, it wasn't until I was 20 weeks. I kept saying "oh after the NT scan I'll be ready" but I wasn't so I waited until after my A/S where I felt the most comfortable with sharing the info on FB.

samjen2010 · September 2013

SoxFan777 said:

My 1 word answer:
NEVER.
People in my life who know me will find out in person, and everyone else will find out eventually.
If you feel like you must announce, I'd absolutely wait till after 20 weeks, or after it's obvious to even strangers that you're showing. My friend announced on FB and then had to "unannounced" after a m/c, which was painful for her. She announced at 11 weeks.

This is me too.

ravenclaw1 · September 2013

I just announced on FB a week ago - which was 2 days after my daughter was born.

Everyone important knew already, just the randoms were surprised. It was actually a great experience for us to go that route... Less annoying comments and questions and I feel like it allowed us to celebrate only with the people in our lives who we truly love and who love us, not that random girl I went to college with that I haven't seen in years.

But this is totally a "to each his own" thing. Good luck.

porterlove525 · September 2013

I've always been pretty quiet about my pregnancies and had a lot of trouble dealing with stupid questions and comments from my close family and friends after both of my losses so this time DH and I have told no one. I never planned to ever announce on FB even with my first, just like PP's said, I don't think it's the forum. Plus I had to block and defriend even close friends during and after my losses who were pregnant or having babies. You never know other's struggles and I'd rather tell my family and close friends myself. If people want to spread our news from there that's fine, I just want to make sure my closest friends and family hear from us not on FB. We'll finally be telling them after our NT scan tomorrow if all goes well.

I've had several friends and family never announce on FB and they never experienced loss. No one seemed to
Mind when pics started being tagged of their babies later on. I think you just have to do whatever you and YH are comfortable with. Good luck!

MickeyM04 · September 2013

With DS, we didn't put anything on FB until after he was born. I will echo all PP's comments that everyone who was close to us and not just a FB friend, obviously knew before then, and it was a matter of not wanting to share with people who are basically strangers IRL. I know someone who lost their pregnancy after the NT scan. I know somebody who lost their pregnancy after their A/S. I really didn't feel there was ever a safe point to announce it where I wouldn't potentially have to unannounce it to people who were basically strangers or who I hadn't seen since high school. Or have to leave it unsaid and then have someone post on my wall, "When are you due again," or "Why haven't we seen any baby pictures yet," and then have to tell them what happened.

Also I remember after my loss how hard it was to see pregnancy announcements from people I hadn't seen or spoken to in ages. It made me feel like "everyone" was pregnant and I never wanted to make someone else feel that way.

If we get far enough in this pregnancy, I may make some sort of announcement after the 20 week mark, only because last time there were a couple people who didn't know I wasn't posting on FB and then they posted something and I had to delete it...so only for the sake of avoiding that kind of issue. But I'm still on the fence about it.

I always say if you have an itch to do a cute announcement, do a photo card and send it to your friends and family.

linzeeh80 · September 2013

We told our parents and siblings right away (4weeks). We didn't tell anyone else untill after the a/s. I was 18 weeks. I would have waited longer but I was really showing so it was almost impossible to hide it anymore.

Samantha8604 · September 2013

We told our parents and very close family at 7 week's after we saw the heartbeat. After our NT scan at 13 weeks we told some of our friends and extended family. We didn't go Facebook official until after our 20 week anatomy scan. With a loss history we wernt even sure we would ever do a Facebook announcement. However I didn't want some people to only find out when they got a shower invitation.

Junebug060609 · September 2013

With this pg i plan to use a pic of DS with either pink or blue balloons and his big bro shirt to announce after the à/s. With Ds pg (also à PgAL pg), we came out after first tri using his NT pic.

ETA: I totally understand if people block me from their newsfeed when they see a pg announcenent (hell, i did it to others) and i am not the type to do many updates on pg progress, but I am not going to hide our good news...it'll come out eventually with baby pics anyhow. I understand completely if others choose not to announce...to each their own.

daisy19782011 · September 2013

I had a loss when I was 20weeks, so I won't post on facebook until my girls are here, but that is just me. Post when you feel ready.

Lovenyc · October 2013

I posted at 20 weeks with my son. Since then, I've changed my tune about facebook in general. I found it incredibly painful to see everyone's HAPPY posts when I was struggling to become pregnant. I would not want to make someone feel that pain. I will post once he/she is born.

delatl · October 2013

I really appreciate this board. So many "normal" pregnant ladies on my BMB are already crafting cute announcements without a second thought. Not that I wouldn't want them to feel that carefree, it's just really different than how I feel.

As for me, I expect to wait as long as I can to tell most people. I'm not sure about FB. I don't think I'm going to do an announcement, but I'm a pretty private person in general so it's probably more that than anything.

Surprisingly, my DH is really eager to tell people. And I'm only 8.5 weeks. He has asked me multiple times now when we are going to tell people. We have told our immediate families, and a few of my closest friends know because we were going through IVF and I needed their support during those months. I have told him that I want to wait to tell people until we are through the first trimester and the initial testing. Which will be about a month at least. Apparently, his mother is really excited to share the news. I reminded him as gently as I could that this month will be longer for me than any of them, and if I can wait through it, they can wait through it.

pineconey · October 2013

I actually never posted about my first pregnancy, but I did post about my loss. It was important for me to share with others because I hate that miscarriage is this hushed topic. I wanted to open the door so that if others had silently gone through loss (or do in the future) that I could be there for them in that way.
I've moved a lot in my life and made many dear friends along the way. I'm actually thankful for Facebook as a means of keeping up with births, adoptions, weddings, losses, etc. I don't have "friends" on Facebook that I don't actually know in person.

boxerbabylove · October 2013

We posted very recently on facebook but our local friends and family knew already due to some big mouths (my father especially). I decided I'd rather get it out there on my own terms than let the gossip wagon do it for me. Being in the previous late loss camp, I'm not all together comfortable with the announcing at 12 weeks but the way I look at it, I'm going to enjoy every day I can and part of that joy is celebrating this pregnancy and not living in the past. Announcing of facebook also gave my family (which is large and all over the country) a chance to find out directly instead of through the grapevine. I think everyone is different. Stick to your gut, it will tell you what you need to know.

MamaWombat · October 2013

I don't know that I'll ever post an announcement as such on FB, but mostly because I rarely post there at all. I can see both sides of the coin on general announcements. They can be really painful (I avoided FB altogether for most of the time we were ttcal), but for people who habitually share a lot with their friends in that medium, well, it makes sense why they'd share this really important thing that's happening.

I don't personally think I'd have anxiety about un-telling on FB if we were to post there (I figure if you tell en masse, you can un-tell in masse, too...is it really any more painful than un-telling people individually).

This time, we told our immediate families and close in-town friends around 13-14 weeks, and have gradually started telling other friends via phone/email since we hit 19 weeks. I was really anxious to tell our families as soon as DH felt comfortable, but strangely I haven't really felt an urge to share the news more widely. In fact, I still haven't "officially" announced at work, although since I'm wearing maternity clothes now, it's not exactly a secret.

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