Infertility
amcastord
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AF...the thief in the night
amcastord
member
in Infertility
She came like a thief in the night (actually, it was between 3am when I got up to pee and 6:30 when I got up for the day) robbing us of hope. Dirty ho!
So, I got another BFN on Sunday, so I figured she was coming, but when it didn't happen yesterday, I was holding out hope. This morning, I'm in the trenches of WHY's...Why is this so difficult? Why do WE ALL have to try so hard and others don't try at all? My friend has been blessed with a pregnancy that has wrecked what was left of her sanity and family. Her 2 daughters have moved out and are staying with their dad, shes in school, barely able to afford what her girls do now; yet, somehow ends up with exactly what we all want? We can't even get one and between her and her "boyfriend" they'll have 5! I'd be thrilled with just 1!!!
I'm a believer. I go to church. I believe in God. But today, I'm really struggling trying to understand all this. There are so many questions...what does He know that might happen down the road, that I don't know. I believe, with every ounce of my being that any baby is a miracle. As many things that have to line up perfectly to fertilize, implant, carry to term...I believe that is orchestrated by a higher power. No accidents. May seem like bad timing for some people, but I don't believe any baby is an accident. I just don't understand why we can't get the miracle.
Sorry for the spiritual rant and BFN vent...I'm just tired. Just after 4 years, I applaud you ladies who are stronger than me, who have kept going. We have one more DS vial to use and then I'm out. If my husband and I are to raise a child together, God will have to lay it in my lap. I'm tired of begging for it. Tired.
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Re: AF...the thief in the night
I am so sorry. All of this is just so unfair.
June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 10M, 8F, 2T, 6 F) :: Beta #1- 176 c/p @ 4w4d
FET #1 February 26th :: Lost 4 to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
IVF # 2 Stims 5/10 ER 5/21 (15R, 13M, 13F, 2T, 7F- 6d3 & 1d5) :: Beta # 1- 15 c/p @ 4w
FET #2.2 Scheduled for September 20th
2 Thawed, 2 Transferred! Beta #1- 96, Beta #2 906! :: EDD June 10th
2015- 2 failed FET. We are done
SURPRISE! BFP 8/8/16 EDD 4/1/17
Severe endo & fibroids, IVF #1 BFP with twins, Gabriel Mark (5/20/12) & Zachary David (5/24/12)- said goodbye to my two angels at 17 weeks due to pprom.
IVF#2 FET 9/24, Beta #1 10/3...
My Blog: http://theunfixableme.blogspot.com/
{HUGS}. IF sucks. I'm sorry...
**Sig warning***
TTC since 9/2011. DH - 32, me 32.
IUI#1 (natural): BFN; IUI#2 (clomid): BFN; IUI#3 (clomid and follistim): BFN.
IVF #1 March 2013, freeze all (OHSS).
FET#1 June: BFN
FET#2 August: delayed due to thin lining (6.3). Took a few months off to try and thicken the lining with lots of estrodial. FET#2.2 December: Cancelled due to thin lining (4.8). Two frosties left.
*New RE* Sonohystrogram and hystereoscopy done in Feb.
IVF #2: ER 3/4/14 ET 3/7/14, transferred 3, 3 day 9 cell perfect embryos. No frosties.
Beta #1 (14dp3dt) 504
Beta #2 (21dp3dt) 11,561
First ultrasound on 4/3/14 showed 3 sacs: one empty and two with beating hearts!! At 7w2d, found out that one baby did not have a heartbeat anymore. Praying that baby B makes it. Baby B is a girl!
EDD 11/25/14 BORN 11/29/14
**PAIF/anyone welcomed to comment!! Thank you.
Me: 34, DH: 32
TTC Since September 2012
Dx-PCOS, Anovulation, highly irregular cycles
March 2013 Comid 50 mg+ TI #1: BFN
April 2013 Clomid mg + TI #2: BFN
IVM#1 Aug 2012: BFN
20 FEB 2014: CP
IUI #1 Clomid 100mg 24 FEB 2014: BFN
IUI #2 Clomid 100mg 21 MAR 2014: BFN
IUI#3 Follistim & trigger 21 May 2014: BFN
IVF #1 Follistim & Menopur: 14R, 9M, 7F, transfered 2 day 3 8 cell embies
Beta #1: 7/30: 41 Beta #2 8/1: 96 Beta #3 8/4: 796 EDD:4/9/15
All WelcomeTTC since April 2012
BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013
BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013
6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)
IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab
IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!
FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN
Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus
IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
Everyone welcome on my posts
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
I'm so sorry sweetie I really wish it didn't have this ending. Keep your faith and when you do end up with your take home baby you'll look back and understand his plan.
09/12-11/13: 3 TIs, 3 IUIs, ICSI/PGS IVF & 2 FETs
08/14: Our little miracle has FINALLY arrived - 3 years after we started trying!
me:33 my wife:32 married in June '12
LONG road through IF ending in heartbreak and frustration.
Me: 32 H: 31
IVF #1 October 2013 Antagonistic Protocol with ICSI ER 10/31/13 (18R 16M 11F- 6 blasts to freeze)
ET delayed due to OHSS
FET scheduled for July 8. Delayed due to a crazy high TSH (it had been under control for YEARS!)
FET #1 8/5/14 sET BFN
**** Ticker Warning ****
Me: 37, DH: 38 Married since 2005, TTC since 2007
IVF#1 February 2013 - 6R, 4M, 3F - transferred 2 day 3; 1 frozen - BFN
IVF#2 May 2013 - Menopur, Follistim, Ganirilex - 16R, 13M - freeze all eggs due to MFI 0% Motility day of retreival
FET September 2013 - 9 eggs thawed, 0 fertilized
transferred frostie from IVF #1 - Estrace & PIO - BFN
**Change RE**
January 2014 - IVF #3 (Lucky #3?!) ER 2/5/14 19R, 16M, 11F with PICSI.
2/10/14 Transferred 2 AA day 5 blasts
, 5 Frozen - Estrace & Endometrim (which IMO is worse than PIO!!)
Beta 2/24/14 Beta #1: 2229, Beta #2: 3577 BFP!!
6 week u/s - TWO heartbeats
EDD 10/30/14
***** All Welcome *******