Daycare Moms-- How often is it too often?

BarefootContessa · October 2013

We take our son to a local daycare close to us that we thought would be ideal. He's in the infant-to-toddler room with about 8 other kids. We are reasonably happy, though sometimes wish we could take him somewhere nicer. Those first few months were hell. We were literally sick for three months-- which is to be expected.

Recently (within the past two months) he's had hand, foot, mouth, pink eye, and two viruses. How common is this for this age? Is this TOO often? I got a call on Friday to come pick him up (AGAIN) and the daycare woman mentioned to me that another kid in the class had the same virus that was "going" around. OK fine, no big deal. I took him home and the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. I realized I had seen the other sick child at daycare every day that week. Said sick child's mother works for the daycare center, but in a different room. Why wouldn't they insist that she take him home? I think it's because they couldn't afford to go understaffed in the other room (admittedly I'm drawing conclusions here). Regardless, I was mad. No one's kid should be at daycare sick.

I'm tempted to write the owner an e mail. We pay a fairly high (for our area) amount each week for his care and I feel like he's getting sick too often to make it worth while. Is this normal at this age? I don't want to overreact and be "that mom" from the daycare's stand point, but I also am tired of having to tell my boss that I need to work from home (fairly new job-- four months in).

BeebopandBuddy · October 2013

Four in two months seems like a lot. I would inquire about how they handle germs with the upcoming cold and flu season. Make sure they are cleaning the toys, mats, tables, etc. with bleach at least once a day. Unfortunately, it's hard to control germs when there are so many, like at a daycare. That does sound a little crazy though.

Honestly, when my kids went to daycare, I didn't care about being "that mom". I'm not going to rant and rave about things that don't matter, however your child's health does not fall into that category.

kelbel527 · October 2013

The first year - 18 months is hard. Especially in the winter season. Both our boys have had bouts where they've been constantly sick, and then months with nothing.

I would definitely discuss with them their policies around cleaning toys/the room and making sure that they enforce sick rules consistently. But being sick that many times in 2 months, doesn't actually surprise me.

Also - in our toddler room (at 12 months) they start teaching kids to wash their hands. It's not something they can do on their own for awhile, but at least they're starting the habit early. In DS2's room (3 year olds) they strictly enforce hand-washing and making sure each kid is using soap etc.

But...there's only so much you can do with that many little ones in a room.

BarefootContessa · October 2013

LoisLayn23 said:

Babies get sick a lot in the first year or 2 they are in DCP. It's common. It also helps build immunity.

I send the girls with runny noses but not with fevers.

When Tessa(my 3 year old) was in the toddler room the first year, she had everything under the sun. Pink eye, HFM, the flu (stomach), sinus infection, pink eye again.

This past winter, she wasn't sick at all.

See in general, this is my feeling too. I don't even consider a runny nose, sick, really. I went to daycare as a child and have this mentality. However, DH was raised by his SAHM and they both FREAK and get angry every time he gets sick. It doesn't help that BIL and SIL have a son that is five weeks younger in a different state and he "never gets sick from daycare".

I should have mentioned that he was also sick this morning with a fever. I guess I forgot that in original post-- so I had to call MIL to ask if she'd keep him today and I got the onslaught of how terrible daycare is. I do agree, to an extent, that it's a bit much.

Holly_1007 · October 2013

I would be mad about seeing a sick child at the center. what is their sick child policy? if you had to remove your child then the other child should have been removed as well. I know with HFM it is contagious before it is diagnosed, so I would let that one slide, that one goes around SO easy because it is undetectable at first. Pink eye is also crazy contagious because babies can't help touching their face and eyes when it hurts.
Maybe you could just email the director and address the fact that your child has been sick a few times and would just like an overview of their policy regarding cleaning. like PP said, bleach once a day, washing the babies hands frequently, sending sick children home etc.

mamaHippo23 · October 2013

If your MIL is so against daycare, tell her she is welcome to pay for a full-time nanny

MRoxy0628 · October 2013

I just wanted to say I can commiserate. This past winter, I felt like my daughter was sick every other week and when she was an infant, I wanted to be home with her even if it was "just a cold". In talking with doctors and other moms with children in daycare, it sounds like this is the norm, but it is frustrating. My daughter was home with me all summer and after being back in daycare for a couple weeks already has a cold. I'm guessing now that they're more mobile, they're likely to get sick more often as they have their hands in everything. I hope your LO feels better soon!

LouRN09 · October 2013

delaine0821 said:

Four in two months seems like a lot. I would inquire about how they handle germs with the upcoming cold and flu season. Make sure they are cleaning the toys, mats, tables, etc. with bleach at least once a day. Unfortunately, it's hard to control germs when there are so many, like at a daycare. That does sound a little crazy though.

Honestly, when my kids went to daycare, I didn't care about being "that mom". I'm not going to rant and rave about things that don't matter, however your child's health does not fall into that category.

Ditto this. When DS1 started daycare when he turned 2 (came from an in-home daycare), he was always sick. However, I knew they were always cleaning. No matter when I was in there (morning, middle of the day, after school), they were constantly cleaning, So, I felt confident knowing they were doing what they could to keep the place germ-free.

DS2 was born in October (obviously) and started daycare in the middle of cold and flu season. He had a mild case of RSV last year, and a handful of colds. I am hoping with each passing winter season, their immune systems will get stronger and stronger.

I would definitely ask what they plan to do to help combat the increased germs during the upcoming cold and flu season. And maybe even inquire about their policy with sick kids of employees.

MomtobeNJ · October 2013

I would echo what everyone else has said. It is a lot (of illness) but I don't think it's uncommon. DD was sick several times in her first 6 months.

Clarify the sick child policy, and of course it should be the same for the children of employees. Just remember that just because a kid "looks" sick doesn't mean they have to be home. At my daycare, the rule is that they have to stay home with a fever over 100.4. So if the child has a nose that's running like a faucet or a hacking cough but no fever, they can be at daycare.

linzeek44 · October 2013

They should have a written sick policy about when children are allowed to be at school. I would ask for that in writing if you don't already have it in a handbook.

I know that, for contagious illnesses like strep/pink eye/HFM usually a letter goes home or a notice is posted to all parents about it/what to look for/when the child can or cannot come to school. If they aren't currently doing this, I would ask about it.

BarefootContessa · October 2013

Thanks guys. That's what I needed to hear. I just need DH and MIL to calm down a bit and get on board.

AKB090609 · October 2013

I would also ask if they are doing an extra deep clean of all toys as well as the classroom in general. At my center we would sanitize EVERYTHING, from toys to chairs to the carpet if more than one child had the same illness.

hmp1 · October 2013

I am one to voice concerns as they come up. I am sure they doing the best they can but letting them know you are concerned with the number of illnesses going around the room might get them to step up their cleaning and sending others home earlier. James had about 4 sick illnesses (not talking colds) from 1-2 so to already have 4 in 2 months and we are just now getting into fall seems high to me.

Did they send home a recommendation for flu shots? How do the notify parents of contagious illnesses in the classroom? Things you can mention to them if they are not doing it.

melody921 · October 2013

Kids get sick a lot in the beginning, so that might be unavoidable. But I would definitely talk to the director if you feel another kid is at school while sick.

klgrh6 · October 2013

Oh reading this makes me feel overwhelmed....DD will probably be starting daycare at the beginning of November. I know she's going to get sick but this sounds like a lot.

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