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What has happened to compassion - NBFR

CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
in Blended Families
K's teacher suffered a miscarriage last week.  Very few of us even knew she was pregnant.  She went in for a routine ultrasound on Tuesday and received the news that there wasn't a heartbeat.  She asked one of the other room parents to send out an email notifying the parents that she would be out the remainder of last week, all of this week, and possibly next week (depending on when the Dr releases her).  I am devastated for her and told her to take as much time as she needs to heal.

However, I am apparently one of a few people who feel this way.  Last week was Conference week, and several families have contacted the school demanding to know when they will be rescheduling the conferences and a few even contacted the teacher directly wanting to reschedule conferences.  Are you kidding me?!  How about a little compassion?  This woman just lost a baby for heaven's sake and is trying to deal with that loss; she's not on vacation in Cabo.  What is wrong with people?  I am blown away by how crappy some people are.
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Re: What has happened to compassion - NBFR

  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    tifanico said:
    Do the rest of the parents know that she had a miscarriage? You can be more compassionate because you know what she is going through but if the rest of the parents don't know, how would you expect to have the same reaction you did?

    I would also be demanding the school to know when would the conference will be done. Not as a way to push the teacher to come back soon but to be able to schedule it in advance. Some people just don't have the flexibility at work to take time off easily. 

    FWIW, I email people when they are on leave not because I expect an immediate response but so they have the email once they are back. 
    Yes, all the parents were informed she suffered a miscarriage (per her request).  

    Unfortunately the people who contacted the teacher directly didn't email her, they actually called her.  I would understand if they had emailed her at her school email asking to reschedule, because she probably won't be checking that email until she is ready to come back.  But to actually call her on her personal phone, knowing she just suffered a miscarriage a few days ago is beyond rude. 


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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    jobalchak said:
    tifanico said:
    Do the rest of the parents know that she had a miscarriage? You can be more compassionate because you know what she is going through but if the rest of the parents don't know, how would you expect to have the same reaction you did?

    I would also be demanding the school to know when would the conference will be done. Not as a way to push the teacher to come back soon but to be able to schedule it in advance. Some people just don't have the flexibility at work to take time off easily. 

    FWIW, I email people when they are on leave not because I expect an immediate response but so they have the email once they are back. 
    Yes, all the parents were informed she suffered a miscarriage (per her request).  

    Unfortunately the people who contacted the teacher directly didn't email her, they actually called her.  I would understand if they had emailed her at her school email asking to reschedule, because she probably won't be checking that email until she is ready to come back.  But to actually call her on her personal phone, knowing she just suffered a miscarriage a few days ago is beyond rude. 


    A$$Hats!!! inconsiderate A$$Hats!


     

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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    Oh wow. If they know the situation then that is atrocious.
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    People don't think anything is more important then their own kids and are self absorbed enough to think that takes precedence to a teacher's miscarriage. It is awful.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Oh and even better?  This is the same teacher who has voluntarily come in on a Saturday in order to meet with parents who can't get to the school during the week.  She busts her butt and goes above and beyond what she is required to do and people can't give her a week or two to grieve with her family?  It just blows me away at how thoughtless some people can be.

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    That is horrible but I am not shocked because people act ridiculous about miscarriages with insensitive comments like it is for the best, etc.

    That said can I nitpick? Well obviously am anyway so I partially apologize but I find it weird that a PTA President is telling a teacher to take as long as she needs. I am probably misreading your intentions and I get that she should take as long as she needs to grieve but the way I read this is to take as long off of work to grieve but that is between her and her boss and not the PTA.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Littlejen22 said:
    That is horrible but I am not shocked because people act ridiculous about miscarriages with insensitive comments like it is for the best, etc. That said can I nitpick? Well obviously am anyway so I partially apologize but I find it weird that a PTA President is telling a teacher to take as long as she needs. I am probably misreading your intentions and I get that she should take as long as she needs to grieve but the way I read this is to take as long off of work to grieve but that is between her and her boss and not the PTA.
    She and I have a friendship aside from her being K's teacher.  And I told her that as a friend, not PTA President, and also as someone who has suffered a miscarriage.  When I miscarried in 2011, I could barely leave the house without crying, let alone deal with 33 children.  I needed about 2 weeks to get my emotions under control so that I could function in the "real world".  I can't imagine how the students would react if she broke down crying in class.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Like I said, I assumed that I was misunderstanding your intentions. I just have a friend that is a teachers and she is constantly complain about the most involved PTA Moms at her kids school thinking they are the Principal and run the place. One of the Moms parents actually said to her DD in 3rd grade that her Mom is on the PTA and therefore she the student can do whatever she wants!

    I had a miscarriage before DS and luckily it was the day I tested positive and very early so it was a little easier but I agree that it takes time.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Littlejen22 said:
    Like I said, I assumed that I was misunderstanding your intentions. I just have a friend that is a teachers and she is constantly complain about the most involved PTA Moms at her kids school thinking they are the Principal and run the place. One of the Moms parents actually said to her DD in 3rd grade that her Mom is on the PTA and therefore she the student can do whatever she wants!  

    Hahahahaha K actually said this to me when BM was thinking of trying to run against me for PTA President.  She says to me, "My Mommy is going to be the PTA President and that means I get to skip school and go to meetings with her and can't get in trouble".  I looked at her and said the usual, "I'm sure you misunderstood what being PTA President means".

    As PTA President I have actually told the girls that they are now expected to set a better example for the other students and that they are not granted special privileges.  K has been reprimanded for making comments to other students and a staff member that she can do certain things because I'm PTA President. 
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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    Littlejen22 said:

    Like I said, I assumed that I was misunderstanding your intentions. I just have a friend that is a teachers and she is constantly complain about the most involved PTA Moms at her kids school thinking they are the Principal and run the place. One of the Moms parents actually said to her DD in 3rd grade that her Mom is on the PTA and therefore she the student can do whatever she wants!

    I had a miscarriage before DS and luckily it was the day I tested positive and very early so it was a little easier but I agree that it takes time.

    I have to say that even as a parent, I feel the same way about a lot of the PTA moms. So many of them are just a PITA. Maybe I have some resentment because I can't be that involved, but I wouldn't want to be so closely involved with the parents in our PTA.

    Not saying you're the same way, Jo. And back to the original topic, yes, incredibly insensitive.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Good for you. I have not see it at my school but the friend was actually complaining just this morning about it!

    And why am I not surprised that K said that?!
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Littlejen22 said:
    Good for you. I have not see it at my school but the friend was actually complaining just this morning about it! And why am I not surprised that K said that?!

    Gee I dunno.  But I'm sure it was a misunderstanding (as always)....  
    8-|
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  • despmamadespmama member
    I can beat that. A teacher in our school district was diagnosed with cancer. Another teacher (without her permission) told her class about the diagnosis. Not only did the teacher have to deal with finding out she had cancer, but a number of parents called her home phone to complain to her that their children were worried and should not have been told of her diagnosis.
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