Teaching manners/ behavior

ivy_leaf85 · September 2013

I realize it's probably too early at this age ( 9 months) but at what age do you start teaching appropriate behavior type things, such as not feeding the dog from the table & sitting quietly at times like church and story time?

Right now as far as behavior goes, I'm really only focusing on important safety type things. Like don't touch wires, don't go in the mud room (least childproofed room in the house, usually gated anyway) be gentle with the dog. Just wondering when I need to start worrying about manners.

peacelove&mama · September 2013

I didn't really teach manners to DS1, I just led by example and spoke/acted the way I wanted him to right from the start. I am well mannered to begin with, so I guess that rubbed off on him. He is complimented a lot of his excellent manners by teachers and other adults, most recently the dentist. I'll be doing the same this time around. At this age all I'm doing is distracting DS2 from things he shouldn't touch, and toys other kids are playing with until they are done. I say please and thank you when I want him to give me something, and he does. I explain things to him when I redirect as well, "you can't play with those wires, they are dangerous", "K is playing with the truck right now, lets build a tower until she's done". He does understand no, but now that he does I try to save it for situations when I REALLY need him to stop.

On the topic of manners, now I'm thinking about the way DS1 used to say thank you... "Tank yoop!" Lol

kescalera · September 2013

We've started "teaching" manners just to get in the habit. I try to talk to Killian like he understands just so he gets used to hearing the sounds at least. We focus mainly on "No hitting/pulling hair/pinching the dog/throwing food or toys/etc" at the moment. Its complicated though since DH was raised very rough n' tumble and tends to play very rough with both the dog & SS11 so Killian sees Daddy wresting with them & he encourages Killian to play the drums on his head so when I tell him not to hit, he looks at Daddy & just smiles.

We do smack his hand when he reaches for things he's not supposed to, like dog food/water, and tell him "No." then try to re-direct him. Lately when we tell him "No." without the hand smack he will stop, look up at us & start slapping the back of his own hand & smiling... then he goes right back to trying to do whatever he was doing.

nanabanana06 · September 2013

Honestly, not until they were closer to 18-24 months. They don't understand it really until then and it normally doesn't stick. I focus on redirection until then. With proper redirection they can seem very polite.

BrittanyDoesDerby · September 2013

Idk. I think if you lead by example and are polite to your kid and to others that it will rub
off and be more genuine than any other method.

minervacullen · September 2013

I sign please and thank-you, lead by example. Like pp I always explain reasoning as well. Example is the best way though.

BrittanyDoesDerby · September 2013

Pretty sure all you can do until they are two is redirect. Smacking at this age especially does nothing beneficial for the kiddo...

ForeverEverAfter · September 2013

We are teaching now, just to get in the habit. Things like don't hit, pet the dog instead on pulling his tail, saying please and thank you. I don't expect her to catch on til closer to age 2.

peacelove&mama · September 2013

I don't understand why someone would smack a little baby on ANY part of their body. He doesnt even understand yet that certain things are not to be touched. A firm "no" and redirection every time is all that is necessary, he will pick up on it in time. I don't agree with physical punishment in any form. It teaches respect through fear, and IMO that's not right.

aelhunt · October 2013

I talk to her like she understands and use voice inflection. Like a happy 'good choice!' when she does what is good and a firm ' no, we don't xyz'. Seems to work well so far. I always sit back and see if she will check with me and make a better choice before responding.

ArmyWife114 · October 2013

We only do simple behavioral stuff right now, like "No pull" when he pulls my hair or necklace, or "be gentle" with the dog. He knows what no means, but he just smiles at me and keeps doing whatever it is, so I redirect and sometimes explain "the dog doesn't like it when you pull her tail." But, I mostly explain to get into the habit of it for when he's older and will understand.

velazquezk1 · October 2013

I just talk to her like she understands. If she's pinching me while she's eating, which is becoming a habit, I say "Mili! It's not nice to pinch mama. Don't do that" or if she's trying to climb under the entertainment center I say "no no, Mili, stay on your blanket" and move her. If someone gives her something I say "say thank you!" And she usually smiles which is baby for thank you! (I'm sure I look like a nutcase, but I'm teaching myself to teach her too)

TheEditor · October 2013

kescalera said:

We've started "teaching" manners just to get in the habit. I try to talk to Killian like he understands just so he gets used to hearing the sounds at least. We focus mainly on "No hitting/pulling hair/pinching the dog/throwing food or toys/etc" at the moment. Its complicated though since DH was raised very rough n' tumble and tends to play very rough with both the dog & SS11 so Killian sees Daddy wresting with them & he encourages Killian to play the drums on his head so when I tell him not to hit, he looks at Daddy & just smiles.

We do smack his hand when he reaches for things he's not supposed to, like dog food/water, and tell him "No." then try to re-direct him. Lately when we tell him "No." without the hand smack he will stop, look up at us & start slapping the back of his own hand & smiling... then he goes right back to trying to do whatever he was doing.

This is us to a T.

Teaching manners/ behavior

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