Questions for stay at home moms

Cara1024 · September 2013

I've been really curious about this for a while so its time to ask. I will be staying home with this baby and DH will continue to work his full time job. My question is what does that mean for our roles in the parenting department. As a FTM I feel like I don't know what to reasonably expect from my husband. I'd love to hear examples of what works in your homes.

Since you are staying home during the day, do you feel like you should be the one to always get up with baby at night to diaper, feed, or soothe? Do you take turns? Does that change at a certain point in baby's age? When DH gets home from work do you ever hand off the kid like "your turn"? And then what about weekends? Do you split up night time duties more then? Also what about other chores like laundry, grocery shopping, errands, dishes.... does DH take on any more of those tasks once baby is here?

Thanks for your input!

jhunter89 · September 2013

At first with DD, DH was on diaper duty and would bring me food/water/snacks when I nursed during the times he was home. He would also help with bathing and dressing her and whatever housework. Once she was eating and mobile, he helped with clean-up and would entertain her so I could get stuff done/take a break and a few specific chores. He's very flexible and pretty much was happy to help with whatever I needed. You two will just need to find a rhythm and for your sake, be realistic and dfon't feel like you're failing if you need to ask for more help!

Cara1024 · September 2013

wilburbud said:

Heres my experience from when I was a SAHM for 3 years with my first, and my thought from my 12 week leave from having DD:
I made all the meals. I did 95% of the cleaning ( I still made him take the trash out to the curb, and mow the lawn). I did the laundry and dishes, but he had to put his own clothing away. When he got home, I would give him a little time to decompress, but then he was absolutely expected to change a diaper if I was in the middle of something, play with our daughter, help with homework. Once in a BLUE MOON if I had a hellish day, I would ask if I could go grab dinner alone or go get coffee or something alone. I tried to plan girls nights probably one a month to get out.

On weekends he helped me with big projects, or would keep the kids entertained while I did something I couldnt do while watching them (shampooing carpets, vacuuming out the car).

thanks! And what about getting up at night? all you?

jhunter89 · September 2013

Also, I forgot to add, as far as night time stuff when they're really little, DD slept in our room next to my side of the bed so I pretty much handled it but he would change her if needed. On the weekends, i'd still handle night time (if you're nursing, there's not a whole lot for him to do once you get the hang of it), but during the day it's much more 50/50 on responsibilities.

mrsbeers · September 2013

I am also a FTM planning to stay home. My MIL was telling me about when she was home with the kids and how things worked with my FIL. He'd come home from work, take some time to himself (probably something like a nap or watching TV) and she'd be furious that he didn't help. He'd say to her that he just worked a long, hard 8 hour day and he needed some time to just hang out. Her response was that she also just worked a long, hard 8 hour day and was now going on her second shift since he wasn't helping. MIL is trying very hard to make sure her son doesn't follow in these footsteps of his dad.

I think this a good way to look at it, while remembering that you are BOTH working hard for your family. Have this conversation with your husband NOW so you're both clear on how things should be, rather than you each having your own expectations and blowing up later when you're exhausted and mad.

DH leaves the house every day by 6am and usually isn't home until 4pm. He's already volunteered morning time with baby since he'll be up and allowing me that time alone to get myself together for the day before he leaves. When he gets home from work, I won't expect him to jump in right away, but take some time to unwind first. We've also agreed that its important for us to each have about an hour each day to be alone and do whatever we need to do while that other one takes care of baby, whether its a nap, shower, housecleaning, errands, video games, bubble bath, whatever we need to re-energize and take care of ourselves as adults.

jldubb0626 · September 2013

We have a very 1950's lifestyle but, it's more circumstantial than because we feel it needs to "be" this way. DH is up at 4 every morning and on average gets home between 4-5. Bedtime here (now) is 8pm. So by default, I deal with 99% of the household and child responsibilities. The inside house is taken care of by me, I manage all the meals and when DS was younger, I got up at night with him because DH needed the sleep to function at work. I also breastfed and DS slept next to me while he did MOTN feedings, so DH really couldn't help in that aspect anyway.

That being said, DH knows (and knew!) he gets about an hour to unwind when he gets home as I finish dinner, but after that (along with weekends), everything is 50/50. I tend to implement a lot of parenting actions, but all major decisions are made by us as a united front. On weekends when he isn't working, he's more than willing to watch DS so I can go out and unwind with friends or go shopping alone. He tends to take over DS duty so I can get things done around the house that are easier alone than with a toddler in tow.

The best advice I can give you is be upfront and realistic with your expectations. When DS was first born DH and I had a rough time coming to terms with each others expectations and to find a balance we were both comfortable with. I feel if we just would have talked about it before hand and laid the ground rules a head of a time, we would have avoided the fights and tears those first few months.

tootsscott · September 2013

FTM here and when the babies are 3 months old my H will be going back to work. For the first three months, he is just as responsible as I am for cleaning/cooking/diapering etc. For now until the babies are born, and after he goes back to work I've told him that night time duties are up to me so he can get a decent night's sleep, and I will do my best to keep the house clean and have dinner ready.. but like everything, I think in an ideal world, and real life with twins will probably be more exhausting.

My husband and I had discussed HIM being a stay at home Dad at one point, and I know he wishes he could stay home with our kids, so I know he'll be involved even after he gets home from work.. and with 2, I'm sure he won't have the option of taking *much* time away.

We'll see though!

ac1259 · September 2013

lol..Ok so you probably don't want to hear from me here. My DH has sleep apnea so he sleeps with a CPAP machine. That along with his ability to sleep through nuclear war means that I'm typically up with the baby, even when I was working. I am the lightest sleeper on Earth, I used to wake up if she breathed heavy, so I wake up within like 2 seconds of her starting to get upset and usually move way faster than DH. So sometimes that upsets me- but honestly it's not his fault and if I was sleeping and someone else moved faster and was already handling it, I probably wouldn't wake up either:) And on the weekends if he were to try to let me sleep in I'd probably be awake anyways because I'm so used to waking up with her- and now my annoying bladder wakes me up..if I wanted him to get up with her I'd have to sleep in a different bedroom where I couldn't hear anything going on which I'm not really willing to do.

DH basically said when we decided I'd stay home that as long as we have clean dishes and clean clothes he doesn't care about the rest. I've always typically done dishes and laundry even when I worked, so that has just continued while I'm home. I try to keep up with the rest of the house but it's harder to do between increasingly shorter nap times..so I do my best. DH will help if I ask or on the weekends with whatever needs done- typically the lawn is his job.

The baby care tends to be a lot on me but thats because staying home can lead to a very strong "mommy" attachment. Typically when DH comes home from work I ask him to keep DD busy so I can get dinner together, and sometimes he'll feed her dinner as well. But she is such a little shadow right now that it gets difficult. We've found that if I really want to get away I need to basically leave and not make a big deal about it and she's fine until I get back then she realizes that I was gone and freaks out! lol...sorry for the really long answer, I'm sure this isn't the same for all SAHM's.

nbbride06 · September 2013

When DD was a newborn, once DH went back to work after 2 weeks paternity leave, the nights were all on me. I can count on one hand the number of times I asked him to get up because I just couldn't handle it anymore at the time. It was exacerbated by the fact that I was EBFing and DD completely refused the bottle, so there honestly wasn't much he could do at night unless she was just crying for no apparent reason. When he got home from work, he was immediately in the throws of baby world. I did 90% of the cleaning during the week but DH would throw in a load of laundry or do some dishes when he got home. We did bath and bedtime together usually. On the weekends, DH and I were completely equal parenting and housework partners. We did switch off weekend mornings to sleep in. So every Saturday I still got up with DD first thing in the mornings and DH got up with her every Sunday morning and after I fed her I would go back to sleep. Now DH gets up with DD nearly every morning since I've been pregnant. It helps that she currently usually doesn't wake up until 7:30 or so. DH helps pick up toys and clean, bath and bed every night when he gets home. I still cook and clean 90% of the time. DH is also great taking DD a couple evenings a month so I can go out with my girlfriends or to book club etc. Sorry for lack of paragraphs...on mobile.

moosebaby2011 · September 2013

Our weekday routine is something like this:

DH leaves for work at about 8 in the morning and most days doesn't get home until close to 7 at night, so the majority of the "daily" chores like cooking, dishes, and laundry fall to me. When he gets home from work (assuming I don't have dinner finished) he keeps DS entertained while I finish cooking (meals have always been my responsibility as I like to cook and DH does not), and then we eat together, and get DS ready for bed together.

After DS is asleep, DH and I finish cleaning up the kitchen, and then try to spend a couple of hours relaxing. If there is laundry to be folded we'll do that while watching TV.

Weekends, we have an equal hand in taking care of DS, including diaper changes. We try to tackle whatever house cleaning things that didn't get done during the week. We also try to make sure we do something fun together as a family.

Does the lion's share of child care and housework fall to me? Absolutely. Most of the time I'm okay with that, although there are times when I feel a little overwhelmed and DH can't see that so I have to tell him. We both get frustrated on occasion because neither of us gets the same down time that we did before, and sometimes it's hard to just suck up and deal with that. For the most part I think we have things worked out pretty well for our family.

Oh, and as far as overnights go, I EBF DS so once DH was back to work and DS was in his own room they pretty much all fell to me. It was mostly by choice. If I was exhausted and had a hard time getting DS to go back to sleep I would wake DH to take a turn walking the floor. He would do that if I asked, but it wasn't an automatic thing.

rowanthefrog · September 2013

One of the best bits of advice I received before I had my first was to do everything you could to make sure BOTH parents get a 5-6 chunk of uninterrupted sleep every 24 hours. What that translated into for DH and I, in the early weeks with a newborn who was up eating every 2-3 hours, was I would nurse DS1 at 5pm, pump at 8pm (DH would feed him a bottle) and go to sleep around 9-ish. DH would be responsible for the 12pm feeding and generally DS would wake up again around 2-3. That would give me from 9-2am to sleep uninterrupted. DH would go to bed after the midnight feeding and sleep until 6 or 7, so he would get to sleep from about 12-6. Therefore, we would both get that sleep.

To answer your question, in our house the responsibility and night time stuff was shared equally. Feeding a baby every 2-3 hours is EXHAUSTING. The first week or so you have adrenaline kicking you on, but as the days/weeks go by and you aren't sure how long it will last, its a quick ticket to crazytown without some help.

Now, with our second son this was a little different bc he wouldn't take a bottle at all. So with him DH would get him, change his diaper and bring him to me so I could nurse, and then when he was done he would burp and put him back to bed. That is the early newborn stuff.

Once baby wasn't waking up so much anymore than I did the bulk of the nighttime stuff unless I was completely exhausted.

Usually when he got home from work he was excited to be with him and would take him so I could shower, poop, or whatever I needed to do.

Weekends we alternate and one parent sleeps in on Saturday and the other on Sunday. We've done that forever and will continue to do that.

Laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, cooking etc are mostly my responsibility but DH helps sometimes. He does help straighten the house. Usually on his morning he cleans the kitchen and straightens up a lot of things.

A

LexGator · September 2013

We have an unequal share of the workload in our house. I do about 95% of everything household related (shopping, cleaning, cooking, bill paying, etc.). I exclusively BF'd DD and always did nights with her (she never liked the bottle, I rarely pumped, so there was no point in disturbing H to watch me nurse her). I can manage things pretty well but I also work from home/manage my own business and work 20-30 hours a week when DD is in school (6 hours a week) and sleeps. My routine has become doable with one but will not be with two, so I will be outsourcing some of my work.

My H will help if asked ... but I have to ask. He does laundry occasionally and has started helping me with baths with DD because it's getting too uncomfortable for me to do. He usually gets up w/her and makes her breakfast on Saturday mornings so I can sleep in, which is really nice. He watches her from time to time if I have a haircut, girls' night out, etc. But as far as the mundane day-to-day stuff, that's all me.

yogamama13 · September 2013

With my first two I went back to work before I became a SAHM and it was a pretty close 50/50 split with taking care of the kids, house etc. Now that I am home I do the majority of the work here but my husband is a huge help. I do almost all the inside work and he takes care of most of the outside. If I need time on a Saturday morning to catch up on things that I couldn't get done during the week he will take the kids to the food store or playground or something. Now that I have two mornings with both kids in school I try to do the food store during the week. Unless it's an emergency I do all the doctor appointments and taking care of sick kids etc- when I worked we had to take turns taking off. There are definitely days when he walks in from work and I've had it and just need a break. I know he worked hard all day too but sometimes I just need QUIET time. He totally changes diapers and helps with bedtime when he gets home. He leaves at 7am - one of the kids is usually up by then and he will start breakfast. Usually doesn't get home until 7/730 but if I give him notice will try once a week to get home earlier so I can go to yoga or something. He probably cooks dinner for the two of us once a week too and we eat later. Mostly I cook.

In terms of night - with the first two I breasted so I did all the feedings and he helped with changing diapers and getting the baby back to sleep if it was taking a long time. He still helps with the kids if they wake up in the middle of the night. He has a lot more patience than i do in the middle of
the night.

We seem to have fallen into a good routine right now- not to say that some weeks aren't hard and nothing seems to work out. There are definitely weeks that I resent the fact that he is going to client dinners and happy hours and I hate that I feel that way. When that happens I try to get out an evening. We will see what a third kid does to the routine!

BuckeyeANG · September 2013

I SAH. I got up with DS every night for the first year of his life because I BF. DH rarely got up, mainly because I was the one who could get him back to sleep. DH and I are pretty equal on cleaning duties because I hate to clean. I do the vast majority of the cooking so that dinner can be ready when he gets home from work. However, DH is 100% in child care mode after work. He plays with DS, bathes him and does bedtime every night. I'm usually around but I shower and just kinda relax more. DH is really hands on and also doesn't care if I don't clean or whatever because he knows how exhausting and how much work it can be just keeping a toddler fed/clean/happy all day.

MiaMyPuggle · September 2013

I feel like I basically have to do everything. And "have" is the appropriate term!
H works long hours and it is a stressful job, so I feel like I should pull my weight.
He helped a lot when I was first home bc I wasn't physically able to bc of my C-section. He woke up on occasion, but I felt bad about that.
He hates when he feels like I hand over our son when he gets home bc he needs a break from the 11-13 hour shift and then an hour drive home in traffic. I do understand where he's coming from, but I feel like I'm taken advantage of sometimes bc my job is 24/7! I never get a freaking break!

Cara1024 · September 2013

Thanks so much for all the input ladies! It is very helpful to see all of these ideas! We will talk about it ahead of time but I have a feeling that since DH has never really been around a baby that much he won't really get how much work they are until she gets here. I know he will be super helpful though I just think he will be surprised by just how needy a baby truly is!

SweetPeaKate · September 2013

I think that you can lay out as many expectations as you want, but when the reality of it all happens, you will find your own groove and do what works for you and DH.

When DS first came home, I slept on the couch to let DH get a solid night of sleep. I knew I could take a nap during the day if I needed to and DH couldn't. On Fridays and Saturdays, DH would take some of the nighttime duties, but I was nursing so it wasn't always the easiest (most comfortable) thing for me to do. There were many days where I handed...okay shoved DS into DH's arms because I needed a break and needed to cook dinner. But usually DH was more than happy to do that.

I think the best thing you can do is be open and honest with one another. Don't wait to talk about things when you are really upset with one another. My DH definitely helps with the cleaning and laundry (I HATE carrying laundry up and down multiple staircases), but I do all the cooking/baking.

shortstuff15 · September 2013

You definitely have to find your own groove to work from and that may take a while after baby is born. You can most certainly talk about expectations and such, and that is good, but it's not until the rubber hits the road that you see how those expectations can actually be played out.

For us, because my husband drives for his job, he needs his sleep or he quite literally could die. He needs to be alert and awake. So even though I formula feed after 6 weeks, I take 100% of the night time duties. For the first few weeks I make my husband's lunch (my choice or he would be spending $60 a week on lunches and we can't afford that) before I go to bed so that he just has to grab it and go in the morning and I don't have to wake up. After baby starts sleeping longer hours I stop doing that and get up with him so that I can have my me time in the morning.

As far as household duties, I don't do much for the first few weeks. I have enough freezer meals on hand so that cooking isn't a huge stress and I clean/spot clean as needed and nothing more. My husband helps a lot with laundry those weeks. Again, after a new routine has been established I again do the majority of housework and all of the cooking.

My husband needs down time after he gets home from work so I don't let the kids bother him much until he's showered and has about 15-20 minutes to relax. Then he will watch and entertain the kids while I make supper and such. He cleans up after every supper and watches the girls during their bath so that I can have some downtime too. We've found the groove that works for us but it didn't happen overnight and some things took until just this summer to figure out what worked best!

ach298 · September 2013

It's definitely something that differs per couple and you do what works for you and your SO.
With DS, the parenting was shared pretty equally. I ended up EPing so DH would get up with me at night and change diapers and feed DS a bottle while I pumped. The few times I did both resulted in me getting next to no sleep period, since by the time I would change DS's diaper, feed him, get him to sleep and then pump for 30 minutes, it only left about 15-30 minutes (or less) for me to sleep before doing it all again. DH only had a 10 minute commute then so I would typically do everything after 4 am so he could get a solid 4 hours before work.

With this LO, if BFing doesn't work out, I won't be pumping so having to do the middle of the night wake ups shouldn't be quite so laborious. DH now has a 1.5 hour commute, so I know the middle of the night chores are going to fall to me.

As for other chores around the house, we have always split them pretty equally. I do the laundry and load the dishwasher. DH cooks typically and unloads the dishwasher before work in the mornings. I vacuum, but we both pick up the playroom and other areas of the house as needed.

Personally, as a SAHM I consider my full time job to be taking care of DS and soon DS#2, not doing housework. Housework is for everyone living in the house. Even DS is expected to pick up and help as much as a 20 month old can.

juliasmama2010 · September 2013

I'm still a working Mom but will be a SAHWM after this LO arrives, but this is what I foresee. All of the household chores, grocery shopping, cooking and general (very general, we have 14 acres, I will not be tending to all of it) yard care will fall on me. I'm fine with that. In the evenings before bed, we will share responsibilities. I anticipate being the one to get up with the kid(s) in the middle of the night. My thought process here is that DH is an operator for a construction company. I'd hate for him to have a rough night with a kid, have to drive an hour to work, operate an excavator then have to drive an hour home while drowsy. I suppose this is my way of protecting him? But he will not get up in the middle of the night unless he insists (he enjoys midnight cuddle time). Weekends will be split, with the vast majority falling on him, as far as kids go (depending on our schedule, of course). He's a very hands on Dad, so I've never had to prompt him to get DD out of the house as it comes second nature to him. I'm sure that won't change once LO is here. My feeling is, he keeps the job so we can keep the house, I'll maintain the house. This might not be something you would be happy with, but I wouldn't feel right asking him to make dinner or do the laundry after work when I've been home all day with the kids.

Galaxy8227 · September 2013

When I was on maternity leave I would usually go to bed at 7 or 8, and DH would stay up with DS to do the "last" evening feeding (around 10pm). I would then do the rest of the middle of the night feedings (I felt more human cause I got a good stretch to start). When I went back to work I still did most of the night feedings but DH would get up if I asked him to/if he heard him first (he sleeps like the dead).

To be honest I had to lower my own expectations of myself when I was on maternity leave. I assumed I would have the time to clean/cook dinner/laundry every day and DH had to remind me often that my job then was to take care of myself (healing from a C-section) and DS.

WinsyWade · September 2013

Honestly, I think things should still be pretty even. Even though you are home, you are caring for a newborn and that is hard work. Getting chores done during the day doesn't always happen. If you two have a system now, keep it and adjust it as you see fit as baby gets older.

With baby care, if you are exclusively BFing you will be doing much of everything in terms of feeding. If you are bottle feeding, have your H take a feeding when he gets home so you can rest/go to bed early. If your H can help with changing diapers after you nurse, bringing you water, making you a sandwich etc, you will appreciate it so much. Some days you have no time to pee, much less eat something.

Premaking meals that you can eat one handed as leftovers the next day or two (like egg muffins*, pita sandwiches, pizza etc) will help you get calories in without taking too much time. Using a crock pot to get dinners going in the am and not having to worry about dinner prep is a life saver too.

A good tip that my Bradley instructor told our class, directed to the fathers, to make their wives a sandwich before leaving for work to make sure they eat something during the day. If the sandwich is still there when he gets home, he knows you haven't eaten yet and really need to. I thought that was a good gauge as time really gets away from you with an infant.

Link if you're interested: (similar to what I make):
https://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/bacon-egg-breakfast-bites/a05685b6-abd1-4491-8af6-9e2221c315e9

Chan4dra04 · September 2013

I didn't read all the comments, so forgive redundancy but here is my experience.

DH is kinda awesome when it comes to his kid. Picking up after himself, ugh no. I kinda believe for us that since DD was our first that it was my job to get her primarily at night but DH really helped out if he was up. Diaper duty was never assigned - DH does it probably more than I do if you factor in the weekends and how much time he actually sees her compared to me. Housework, I still nag him about his own stuff that he is lazy about so he's not off the hook there. But, while DD and I are home alone, and as long as I am feeling good or not tired, then the house is usually decent and the dishes are not overflowing. DH would never ever want me to compromise my body or time with DD for a clean house, nor would he ever say 'this should have been done', though I am sure I lob that line at him many times. Bath time, DH jumps at the chance to always bring DD with him in the shower or do bath time. She tends to scream less when he does her hair so it's a bonus for all of us. Really, DH loves his time with DD so dividing or verbal agreements of responsibilities or duties have never been needed.

DH just took a 2nd shift job in August so we are still trying to figure out our new routine. As for how a new baby will factor in and the demand it will make on my time and energy, I don't know how it will work but I think we'll go in to it both ready and willing and we'll pick up each other's slack when needed. We already have talks about how he'll need to get up earlier in the morning and take a nap before work if needed, but right now DD (almost 2) sleeps until 9-10am so we are soaking up our sleep now and will just have to adjust later and make sure we both nap while he is here in the mornings/afternoons. In the eve, my mom is 2 seconds away so I think I will have lots of help if I need it.

I think a good talk about concerns and responsibilities is a good idea, but try not to assign things so much at first. Just keep an open line of communication of what you are feeling, needing done, etc and both be open to picking up more slack than normal but it will teeter back and forth where the other will pick up more slack for a while. You both have to tag team this kid and survive and since you both are different people with different needs, there will be times where you need to sleep more than your SO and vice versa. Feel it out; you may find that DH likes to do some things more than you and some of those things allow you to sleep a bit more.

KatelynEA90 · September 2013

I think this is different for everyone and you're going to have to figure out what works for your family.

I pretty much do everything. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. But it's not just expected of me. If it doesn't get done, oh well. When DH is home, everything is 50/50. We don't have any designated days for anything. I do most nighttime wake ups but DH does some too. I give time to unwind after work, everyone is happier this way.

Things have changed from newborn to toddlerhood. I EBF but DH would get up and bring her to me almost every time and get me a snack/drink. I've found my groove for grocery shopping and cleaning/laundry so I do it while DH is working. Now that I'm pregnant things have changed again because I need help in different areas.

Your DH will do things different than you and that's okay. You may need to tell him what you need from him too.

When you develop a bedtime routine, I recommend having the other parent do it every now and again. My sister always did bedtime and her kid freaked when her DH tried to do it one night. It took some working out.

ang.ela23 · September 2013

I do all the nighttime duties and all of the cleaning.

Once my hubby gets home from work he usually helps out with diaper changes, making dinner and/or laundry. If needed, hell go to the grocery store too or help with anything else.

But since he wakes up at like 430am and goes to the gym & then works all day...I would never expect him to get up through the night with baby. I have always gotten up with our babies. Sometimes, he will wake up and ask to help out but really theres nothing he can do bc I breastfeed so usually he just sleeps haha

Arrgcr · September 2013

wilburbud said:
Heres my experience from when I was a SAHM for 3 years with my first, and my thought from my 12 week leave from having DD:
I made all the meals. I did 95% of the cleaning ( I still made him take the trash out to the curb, and mow the lawn). I did the laundry and dishes, but he had to put his own clothing away. When he got home, I would give him a little time to decompress, but then he was absolutely expected to change a diaper if I was in the middle of something, play with our daughter, help with homework. Once in a BLUE MOON if I had a hellish day, I would ask if I could go grab dinner alone or go get coffee or something alone. I tried to plan girls nights probably one a month to get out.

On weekends he helped me with big projects, or would keep the kids entertained while I did something I couldnt do while watching them (shampooing carpets, vacuuming out the car).

This. The only exception is during the very beginning when I was EBF and it was really rough, he would wake up, change DS diaper, and hand him to me while I got ready to nurse at every feeding. (Boppy, backrest, get my phone ready or turn on the lamp or grab a book.) Once I became more comfortable I didn't need his help as much. Seeing as my husband doesn't barely even know how to boil tea, I don't expect anything from him either this time besides that.

I did go back to work and after that we took turns getting up at night. I have been a SAHM for two years and plan on continuing that I may only have him get up once a night at the beginning but I haven't slept a full night in over three years due to insomnia and DS, I'm sure I'll be up enough as it is and won't need his help.

Rushley · October 2013

My H works 6 am - 9 pm 6 days a week so I was grateful when he offered to do an early morning feeding/ diaper change before work so I could get a 4 hour stretch of sleep. I nursed during the day but pumped so he could bottle feed in the morning.

My mom was a huge support those first few weeks; she helped with grocery shopping, cleaning and with the baby. She will be helping with this baby as well because H will be on midnight's.

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