May 2014 Moms

She had a loss 1 week ago, how long should I wait to tell her?

1 week ago today, my cousin tragically lost her baby girl at 20 weeks. I had planned to announce after my appointment last week on Tuesday, but with her loss just one day before I decided not to. So ladies, how long do you think I should wait to announce? I'll be 9 weeks in a couple days.

Re: She had a loss 1 week ago, how long should I wait to tell her?

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  • I agree w/Empireceo. I think that would be a good amount of time.
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  • That's a tough one.. Perhaps you could tell her personally before you announce to everyone else.  Let her know that you are thinking of her feelings and didn't want her to be offended or caught off guard.  Be prepared that she may not be as excited at first, but I'm sure she will appreciate your consideration. As she copes with her loss, she will be better able to share in your good news. 

    So sorry to hear about your family's loss. T&P for your cousin!
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  • I would wait a few more weeks to announce and then call her to tell her a couple days before hand, so she can try to process. If I were in her shoes, I'd appreciate a call, text, or email to give me a heads up first.

    I'm sorry to hear of her loss. What a tough situation for your family.

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  • I'd wait until 12-13 weeks personally. In addition, I would tell her separately (first) before you post anything.
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    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

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    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

  • Agree with the others. In addition I would tell her via email so that she can process it and not have to sound excited or congratulate her in case she's feeling a bit blind-sided. 
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  • Her and I are very close & we talk regularly. I text her to check up on her constantly... So I've decided to wait a few more weeks, and tell her in a text. Her & I don't email eachother, because we often talk or text. Thanks for all the advice ladies! I just wasn't sure at first how long to wait, because even though she just had a loss 1 week ago, she constantly goes to my sisters house who lives near her, she enjoys spending time there even with my sister having a baby there. I think for her it's kind of therapeutic in a way. Anyways, that's so much ladies, I truly appreciate all the advice.
  • Anyways, thanks* so much ladies (edit)
  • I'd wait until 12-13 weeks personally. In addition, I would tell her separately (first) before you post anything.

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    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

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  • I agree with others about telling her where she can process the news privately first. (Send an email or letter)
    TW loss mentioned 

    **BFP#1 9/5/12   EDD 5/15/13  changed to 5/25/13 after u/s,  missed mc 10/19/12.  D and C 10/22/12** 
     **BFP#2 9/12/13  EDD 5/16/14 changed to 5/27/14 after u/s, hb 126 on 10/11/13, miscarriage on 10/24.13**
    ~RPL testing results from 12/6/13 show everything normal except elevated prolactin. Blood work is now in the normal range. All AL welcome!
    BFP #3 10/24/14  Our rainbow baby was born July 2015
    BFP 4 10/28/19 EDD 7/6/20
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