BLW Fail :/

PennyLane26 · September 2013

Welp. We tried BLW over the weekend. G had some sliced avocado and sweet potato fries. She did great! Her favorite technique was shoveling it directly from her highchair tray into her mouth. It was so cute and I think she even managed to swallow a bit.

DH, however, couldn't handle it. She gagged a few times and he went into hysterics. Baby G wasn't phased by it at all, she would gag a bit and keep on eating, I tried to point that out to him but he was freaking out, despite the fact that I am certified in infant CPR/First Aid, he wasn't for it.

I'm bummed, I was really wanting to stick to BLW, and G seems to really like it. But I want to respect DH's wishes, too. I would never want him to feel uncomfortable feeding her. As he pointed out, eating/feeding should be enjoyable for the whole family and it's not.

We decided we would continue to offer whole pieces of banana and avocado for her to gnaw, but I compromised by mashing some sweet potato and butternut squash to spoon feed.

For those who BLW- did you or your partner have a hard time with the gagging or worry about choking? How did you handle it?

amandaleigh1 · September 2013

I was more freaked out by gagging than my DH. The thing is, is that gagging is going to happen all the time whether you BLW or not. It is part of the learning how to eat process. Babies have a very strong gag reflex anyway, so you may see gagging with spoon feeding as well or when you finally do introduce finger food.I think having the first aid/cpr experience should be sufficient to quell your husband's fears.

pb_bride · September 2013

amandaleigh1 said:

I was more freaked out by gagging than my DH. The thing is, is that gagging is going to happen all the time whether you BLW or not. It is part of the learning how to eat process. Babies have a very strong gag reflex anyway, so you may see gagging with spoon feeding as well or when you finally do introduce finger food.I think having the first aid/cpr experience should be sufficient to quell your husband's fears.

What amanda said, esp the bold!

M gagged at every single meal for the first week, but the good news is, it got a lot better pretty quickly! MH and I were both concerned initially, but I just put on a calm face for DH. I had taken infant CPR and I was in the medical field, so I think that made DH feel a little less scared?

Anyway, I think it's okay to compromise a bit if YH is not comfortable with it; but just keep reinforcing him the idea that it is NORMAL for babies to gag when they first encounter solids. Also, I've read in books that babies' gag reflex is located a lot farther FRONT in their mouth than adults; the gag reflex slowly migrate back towards the throat when they grow. So, even when they gag, the food is nowhere near their throats where they will actually choke. If you just keep reminding YH these facts, hopefully that will help ease his concern.

Finally, keep doing some BLW with G; I bet within a week or so, she'll be such a pro at handling her foods that she won't be gagging much by then.

kmc84 · September 2013

I'm sorry YH was less than excited. I ditto the PP too, gagging will happen with spoon feeding also. Did you guys read the BLW book? If not, I suggest reading reading it. If you did read it, have YH read the section about the location if the gag reflex again. That might make him more comfortable. Good luck!

mdiblasi10 · September 2013

Thankfully DH and I were both fine with the gagging. I knew it was normal and so it didn't worry us. We always watch him closely, but "knock on wood", he has never choked. However, it did scare my Mom. She has a serious choking fear. I had to reassure her and she is getting better at staying calm if he gags.

It does get better as they get better at eating, so hopefully your husband will see that she is fine

TJ1979 · September 2013

Everything PP's said. And I really believe that BLW babies gag less overall than puree fed babies. As the book explains, your baby already knows how to chomp, this is the mechanism they use to eat already. When you introduce purees, they have to learn how to suck semi liquid food into their mouth and swallow. Then introduce solids, and they have to re-learn how to chomp first. So a baby who is used to purees will try to swallow a solid without realizing he has to chew first, and is more likely to gag and choke.
I understand it is scary for YH. I really recommend having him read the BLW book, perhaps it will help ease his fears.

Mrs.AmyDylan · September 2013

J still gags a bit with new foods, but overall it is pretty minor. We were both prepared, so it wasn't a huge deal. I love BLW in that it is so easy. No special food prep, my food doesn't get cold, plus the entertainment is outstanding! I echo getting him to read the book. The explanation of the benefits my get YH yo reconsider.

CarrieB. · September 2013

This is why I don't like the idea of BLW, because my categorizing it like this, you can feel like you failed. You didn't fail at anything, you are just feeding your baby and your baby is learning to eat.

For the record, I made my own purees and offered some non purée items like toast strips or bagels along with it for her to kind of suck on. then i started with more of the slices of avocado, made my purees more chunky, etc.

Every baby will gag some, but eventually all babies learn to eat real food no matter how it is presented. Don't get hung up on labels.

itsmevkb · September 2013

CarrieB. said:

This is why I don't like the idea of BLW, because my categorizing it like this, you can feel like you failed. You didn't fail at anything, you are just feeding your baby and your baby is learning to eat. For the record, I made my own purees and offered some non purée items like toast strips or bagels along with it for her to kind of suck on. then i started with more of the slices of avocado, made my purees more chunky, etc. Every baby will gag some, but eventually all babies learn to eat real food no matter how it is presented. Don't get hung up on labels.

All this. I've always done a mix of purees and food we are eating and/or like Carrie said, toast, bananas, avocado, etc. and never called it anything special. All four have learned to eat with almost zero gagging (that I remember so I'm assuming it wasn't anything too traumatic.)

I do think your husband needs to feel comfortable with feeding no matter what you choose.

PennyLane26 · September 2013

Thanks for all the support and kind words ladies!!

DH and I both read the book to prepare, but for some reason he's still a nervous nelly about it. Oh well.

@CarrieB. - awesome advice! I love the way you put it- I'm going to think of it like that from now on. Thank you!

kaf7 · September 2013

Fwiw we are doing purely purees (haha I like my own pun there) and LO gags almost every time we intro a new food. He did cough quite a bit trying potato though and I stopped mid feed with that one and will wait to reoffer it in a few weeks. I think it was too lumpy and sticky for him.

mnj05 · September 2013

We had a fail at this too, except it was H didn't want any part of what we offered. We may put this on the back burner and try again in a couple of weeks.

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