anyone ever feel like the antithesis of the braggy parent? — The Bump
Pre-School

anyone ever feel like the antithesis of the braggy parent?

groovygrlgroovygrl member
edited September 2013 in Pre-School
I realized this week that while I always have known I am not the type of person to brag about my kids & constantly talk about how great they are or the cute things they do, etc, I almost go in the other direction--- I'm kind of a straightforward person in general and I guess I'm this way about my kids, not all flowerly and gushy...if I'm at work or talking to longtime friends about how things are going, I lean toward talking about some of the frustrating things or the funny/embarrassing types of stories or my shortcomings as a parent...a coworker (who doesnt have kids) was telling me how she had lunch w/ someone who talked about her kids & their activities the whole time (in a not so interesting way) and I asked about whether I talk about the kids too much and she said, no your stories are hilarious... 
I think it is clear to all that I love them and think they're adorable & funny but also challenging in many ways, I just don't tend to share stories about 'cute/smart/awesome' types things w/ people except my mom, who loves hearing those kinds of stories.  But now I wonder if I should be talking about them more in the other way too(though I am not a fan of being braggy... ah! the mommy guilt, it never ends, brag too much, brag too little, talk about them too much, talk about them too little....
Anyone else like this?
[Deleted User][Deleted User]

Re: anyone ever feel like the antithesis of the braggy parent?

  • I am the same exact way! I love my kids more than anything but they bring out the best and worst in me. The real nitty gritty stuff is more fun to share!
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    [Deleted User]
  • Yesterday my 3 year old informed me-"Mommy, you a party pooper.  You pooped on my party." And this is the stuff I choose to share with family and friends.  My kids are cute/smart/awesome, but don't most parents feel that way about their kids?!?!?!  I figure that part can go unspoken.
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  • Glad I'm not alone :) haha. There has been discussion on the working moms board about social media & how people use it and present their own version of what they want people to think about their lives, etc ,and it made me think of how while I don't post much on FB as far as my own status, if I did it would not be things like "I am such a lucky mom to have such amazing DC *heart* *heart* *heart*!" But more like "Hey everyone, look what I found after DS's nap today- take one guess but I'll tell you that is not pudding you see all over the walls & carpet..." (true story at age 3 but didn't post it on FB. LOL.)
  • HA!  The working moms can stuff it, if you ask me. People present themselves in false ways with push up bras, heels and make up.  With Resumes and fluffed expense reports.  All the time.  My neighbors host a marriage prep group for their church and are currently secretly separated.  That is a silly position that social media is the offensive medium for that. 

     I post a lot on FB- my parents, grandparents and 5 siblings are all over the country and I'm happy to share with them the fun things the kids do as well as the crazy ones. Heck, DH is often out of the country 12-15 days a month for work- he likes to see it and I can't send it to his classified contacts but he can view it on FB. I think it is awesome my family can see my kids grow up. 

     It is not about making my 2 childhood friends and old high school pals think I'm an awesome mom, or create a rosey pic of our chaotic lives.   My latest posts have been complaints about finding out that my spayed rescue puppy is not spayed and pics of her crazy self running around in the underwear my son has outgrown.  I just assume someone who didn't want to see all  that or felt I was showboating would hide me from their feed and not waste another second psychoanalyzing me- lol.  But in person, as a SAHM, my only interactions are with people involved in their lives so no, I don't tend to talk about them at all unless directly asked something.  The few times a year I make myself go out socially without them, I also prefer to not spend a braggy moment on them.  So I guess I am just like you and the opposite at the same time- ha!

     

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    [IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/34fg0u1.jpg[/IMG]
  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    edited September 2013
    Uhhhh.... No one was/is saying that a) fb and social media don't have great uses for sharing and keeping in touch , b) there are not other ways ppl paint themselves in perhaps a more positive light than necessary, or c) that everyone who posts about their kids on fb is doing so to make their life look awesome to others... The only reason I even mentioned that discussion is bc it is what got me thinking aout my own personal communication in this area and how (while I do actually post photos of my kids on fb sometimes), it is just not my personality to bring up all the cute and great things to ppl but to sort of joke around about the challenges...mostly in actual conversations but also online, and how i was wondering if anyone else was similar... Perhaps my previous post should have read " how there are *some* people who use it...." If you made the assumption that what I meant was that all people use it that way, bc that was not at all what was meant, or discussed.
    [Deleted User]
  • I'm the same way as you @groovygrl.  I have more to offer than monopolize a conversation about one specific aspect of my life ie: kids. However, when I do bring up the topic it will usually be a funny anecdote. I think this offers a great medium as it's entertaining to most.  I find ppl who talk about only work or only their spouse or only "fill in blank" are boring.
    Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11
    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/1zzndkl.jpg[/IMG]
  • groovygrl said:
    Uhhhh.... No one was/is saying that a) fb and social media don't have great uses for sharing and keeping in touch , b) there are not other ways ppl paint themselves in perhaps a more positive light than necessary, or c) that everyone who posts about their kids on fb is doing so to make their life look awesome to others... The only reason I even mentioned that discussion is bc it is what got me thinking aout my own personal communication in this area and how (while I do actually post photos of my kids on fb sometimes), it is just not my personality to bring up all the cute and great things to ppl but to sort of joke around about the challenges...mostly in actual conversations but also online, and how i was wondering if anyone else was similar... Perhaps my previous post should have read " how there are *some* people who use it...." If you made the assumption that what I meant was that all people use it that way, bc that was not at all what was meant, or discussed.


    I am sorry for my dramatic response.  I think how much and how over the top one expresses her affection/enthusiasm for her children or hubby  is personality- not reflection of quantity or quality of that love.  I think that the facts that you even question your verbosity on the topic of your kids and the fact that there is a discussion about the fakeness of posters on social media is reflection of the competitive and judgmental nature of motherhood.  I have no idea why it is that way. 

    I am a passionate (hyper) enthusiast (spaz) with whatever it is I am doing. The people who know me know it is genuine.  People who don't know me, however, often read me as over the top and surface. But to your original post, the people who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.  Your "style" seems down-to-earth and aware that your babies' heads don't smell as sweet or silly idiosyncrasies aren't as special and adorable to others as they are to you.  People like me often need reminders of that. It wouldn't cross my mind to assume you care less about your children, as I would hope someone wouldn't take my FB post about one of the kids as anything other than what it is. 

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    [IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/34fg0u1.jpg[/IMG]
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