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March 2014 Moms
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Are all men this goddamn stupid!

LAE1982LAE1982 member
in March 2014 Moms
I want to strangle my husband!! I don't think he really gets what being pregnant means. Well, should he? He acts like a fuckin sensitive baby. I was making breakfast yesterday, and half way through he said he didn't want what I was making. I said make something yourself then, I'm not a short order cook. Haha. He was all pissy after that. What will it take to make him really "get" what I'm going through? I can only call him a sensitive bitch under my breath so much, haha. He feels like he can't do anything right and that I'm " up his ass" all the time. Anybody have some words of encouragement for me?
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Re: Are all men this goddamn stupid!

  • LAE1982LAE1982 member
    Let's try this again. Perhaps my smartass rage came out too strong. I don't call him names to his face, ever! I do t even use harsh tones with him. My inner monologue however, sounds like my post. He is just acting like it's all about his feelings and isn't being sensitive to mine. That's what I don't understand. I tell him about my feelings and try to communicate as well I I can. He just thinks he can't win with me and I do t get why. Im really not irrational.
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  • legallygingerlegallyginger member
    LAE1982 said:
    I want to strangle my husband!! I don't think he really gets what being pregnant means. Well, should he? He acts like a fuckin sensitive baby. I was making breakfast yesterday, and half way through he said he didn't want what I was making. I said make something yourself then, I'm not a short order cook. Haha. He was all pissy after that. What will it take to make him really "get" what I'm going through? I can only call him a sensitive bitch under my breath so much, haha. He feels like he can't do anything right and that I'm " up his ass" all the time. Anybody have some words of encouragement for me?

    I don't understand what you not cooking him breakfast has to do with him not understanding about pregnancy/what you're going through. 

    And I feel like I'm missing something- were you making him something he asked for and then he changed his mind? Or did you decide to make something and he said he didn't want it? Because if it's the latter, I get why he was pissy. I wouldn't want my husband snapping at me just because I didn't want what he was making. Then again, I wouldn't call him a fucking baby or a sensitive bitch either just for being irritated either. 
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  • LAE1982LAE1982 member
    Like I said, I don't call him names to his face. I was making something he wanted to eat. I thought this was a safe place for us women to vent our feelings without judgement?
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  • peachy0709peachy0709 member
    It's really, really easy to feel like no one else understands what you're going through while pregnant with all of the hormones and pains and panics.  I have found my attitude at work and through some of my activities outside of work, I'm just not the same right now.  Try to do something for yourself - a pre-natal massage, pre-natal yoga to clear your head... something that makes you feel like you're not constantly trying to do things for everyone else while also trying to "grow" a human being.  It's a trying time and you want to try and avoid stressing yourself out as much as possible.  Don't worry, you'll get through it!
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  • jkelly41jkelly41 member
    Whether pregnant or not, sometimes men and women just get their signals crossed and feelings get hurt.  Men will never, ever understand what it's like to be pregnant and what we go through emotionally and physically.  Try and talk it out with him or let it go (until next time).  Good luck!
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  • LAE1982LAE1982 member
    That's just it. I ask him to please talk to me and tell me what's on his mind. It's hard for him to vocalize his feelings. I can't read his mind, so how do you get a man to open to someone he thinks is crazy and hormonal?
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  • linzerdlinzerd member
    Um no.  All men, at least MH is not that stupid or sensitive.  Even though I make fun of him all the time and imitate him like he is a little whiny bitch, it's totally not the case.  He doesn't pull shit like that, ever.
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  • LAE1982LAE1982 member
    Did I mention that we are newlywed a also. I think we are also working out those first year of mairage kinks. I'm not sure. I'll take the day to control my crazy and approach him tonight. He has tae kwon so tonight, so he should be calm after a little fight session.
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  • clo1982clo1982 member

    I don't think men are great at vocalizing their feelings, period. DH and I used to fight all the time...It was usually 'crazy wife screaming at him' and my main reason for screaming is because instead of telling me what was wrong, he would get all condescending and say 'forget it...nothing is wrong' and walk around pouting, slamming doors and generally acting like an angry 12 year old. After a while this just started flipping me out and I would tell him I'm not a mind reader any more than he is. If I am mad about something, he knows it AND he knows exactly why I am mad. I expect and deserve the same in return. I'm not going to play some childish guessing game to figure out why he is mad. If he wants to yell and scream to tell me why he is mad, I will take that any day over the pouting!

     

    Anyway long story short, let your DH know that you can't read his mind. If something is bothering him, whether you are hormonal or not, he needs to get it out on the table so you can move forward. If you cry when he tells you, you cry, it's no big deal but it's better to get it out there and move past it than to dwell on some unresolved issue because he is not 'good at sharing his feelings.'

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  • LAE1982LAE1982 member
    Exactly! Our husbands soud similar, in the fact they like to pout. I would rather he yell and tell me what he's feeling any day. Thank you!!
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  • SamJusticeSamJustice member
    LAE1982 said:

    Did I mention that we are newlywed a also. I think we are also working out those first year of mairage kinks. I'm not sure. I'll take the day to control my crazy and approach him tonight. He has tae kwon so tonight, so he should be calm after a little fight session.

    How long have you been together? Just because you got married doesn't change how or who you two are or how how either of you react to each other. FI and I have been together for 7 years and we had these problems in the first year of dating. If we couldn't have worked through these issues BEFORE getting engaged/married, we wouldn't be together.
    February 19, 2010- BFP! March 14, 2010- M/C January 17, 2011- BFP! April 26th, 2011- It's a boy! Due September 20, 2011 May 2, 2011- Confirmed Gastroschisis August 7, 2011- Labor begins August 12, 2011- Max is born October 4, 2011- Max comes home!

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  • springbaby03springbaby03 member
    Safe. :))
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  • LAE1982LAE1982 member
    We have been together for 2 1/2 years. Married for 6 months. We truly love eachother and I don't know what I do without him. We haven't always had this issue. It comes and goes.
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  • mamamia866mamamia866 member
    I have no advice because H and I have never had this problem, but next time I would just say, "ok, you can have cereal/make your own breakfast".
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  • kenwrightkenwright member
    I hear you... I tell my husband I am really worried about how I'm going to be able to take care of 2 babies once this one is born. 

    Sometimes you just need to vent.  So vent.  I call a girlfriend and we go back and forth for 20 minutes, and by the end, realize we have it pretty good, and go home a little calmer. 

    Bring it up to him a few days later, say you know, I have to tell you - you made me feel ___  when you said this.  Don't say it made you mad, b/c he'll come back with "everything makes you mad".  Chances are, he didn't realize he made you feel whatever way (sad, like a care taker, like the maid); and will be genuinely sorry.  But if you lose your sh*t in the middle of the incident, you'll just come across as irrational, and he wont take you seriously, or he'll get defensive and pissy. 

    And make sure when he does something nice, or makes you feel special, you let him know too....
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  • aga60154aga60154 member

    I am right there with you, they just made you explain yourself why you're so bad to your husband !! lol ...so instead of encouragement you got some criticism for being too hormonal.   

    Next time have him make breakfast or there won't be any !!  :)

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