So upset ugh

ALP514 · September 2013

So we had A's baptism today and everything went beautifully , until the end of the party when I was occupied saying goodbye to guests. LO was with her god mother and other close friends, when my baby's god mother came up to me laughing saying your going to be very mad at me . So LO has been teething and everyone was talking about how their grandparents rubbed alcohol on their gums to stop the pain, but I was and still am totally against it. I dont see a point in it and was very clear about it. Well apparently my LOs GODMOTHER thought it would be funny to dip her finger in wine and put it on the baby's gum, granted everyone said it was just a tiny bit but here I am on my couch crying my eyes out since we got home.

I feel betrayed and just so friggen upset. I totally could be over reacting, I know elders have done it in the past, but I voiced my opinion and trusted you with my daughter and you did it anyway. i know it wasn't a significant amount to where it could really harm her, but here I am for the past 4 and half months working my butt off trying to do whats best for my baby, following all the rules and then this happened. Theres a reason why they tell you not to do it , so dnt F***ing do it.

Im a basket case and need somewhere to vent because my DH fell asleep consoling me.

Lolalipsy · September 2013

Bless you, I can understand your being upset. It's a tiny bit so there will be no harm to your LO though.

Knowing your thoughts on it she should definitely not have done it. Actually regardless of your thoughts it's not her place to be sticking her finger in someone else's child's mouth. I wouldn't dream of doing that.
.

ALP514 · September 2013

Vent away.
I'd be upset, too. Yeah, the amount may not be enough to cause any harm, but the point it that you told her not to do it.
But, I don't think you need to cry over it for hours. You didn't do anything wrong, and this doesn't negate the hard work you've put in over the last 4.5 months, so give yourself a break. We won't be able to protect our kids from everything out there. The most important thing is that she's ok.
I don't know what I'd do with the godmother. Cool off for a few days, and then talk with her about how upset it made you that she didn't follow your wishes, and, while it may not have made a difference now, her failure to follow your wishes in other ares could have serious repercussions on your baby's health and safety. If she can't agree to follow them, I'd limit her time with the baby, especially her alone time.

I just cant help but feel so horrible about it. God forbid she had a reaction or it effects her in different ways. Obviously im paranoid but its over and done with now. I chose the Godmother based on the sole fact that she was extremely trustworthy , loyal and loved LO , my husband and I more then life itself, she is such a good friend. Thats why i just cant wrap my head around the situation. She apologized to my husband in advance because he had no idea what was going on. It was legit the last 5 minutes of the party, everyone was saying goodbye and handing us gifts , she was feeding the baby I thought nothing of it. This is definitely going to effect future encounters and it sucks cause Im regretting my decision of choosing her for a godmother and I never thought I'd have to do that.

jayro10 · September 2013

You have every right to be angry!

I was pissed when my LO was 5 weeks old and my grandmother dipped her finger in vanilla ice cream and put it in LO's mouth. I can't imagine how mad I would be if someone did that with alcohol! Yeah the amount won't hurt her, but it's the principle. And someone sticking their finger in your baby's mouth is just the icing on the cake! Ugh, hope you're feeling better about it today.

B27 · September 2013

I think you have every right to be very upset. I would probly cry for hours too- not only did she do something you didn't want for your baby- but she hurt YOU personally by betraying your trust. I personally would probly have a conversation with her to the effect of- how can she possibly fulfill her godmotherly duties when you can't trust her? The fact that she said "your going to be so mad at me" shows such a blatant disrespect for your wishes. Her behavior is not ok, and I don't think your overreacting bc you trusted her with such an important role in your family. Finally, as some one who is horribly allergic to wine (tragic I know) I do think the alchohol thing is a huge deal, what If baby was allergic? I know my throat closes up when I have a reactioin, what could it do to baby? Sorry this is so long I'm mad for you lol.

ILoveSnacks · September 2013

I wouldn't be crying or worried about undoing the last 4 months of your hard work. I would however be SEETHING toward the friend. She obviously knew it would upset you, did it anyway, then laughed while telling you about it.

Full disclosure: I have a pretty low tolerance for people's B.S.

AllieAGame · September 2013

I totally understand being pretty pissed, but don't let yourself get out of control with emotion. Your friend acted like a jerk, sure, but remember that no one will ever be as concerned for your LO as you are- godparent or otherwise. Sometimes this is a good thing (being over protective and too cautious can make life unnecessarily hard), and sometimes bad (like when a trusted friend does something she thinks is harmless and funny but it upsets you). In the end, your LO's godmother did nothing to harm your child- the "she could be allergic" bit can apply to anything- but she did hurt your feelings. I don't believe this is an escalating issue (i.e. a dot of wine on the gums will not escalate into beer in the bottle of course), it's just an error in judgement. Have a talk with her, take some time to cool down, but if she is truly as wonderful a part of your life and the lives of your family as you say, this is an issue that is best to forgive and forget.

ALP514 · September 2013

Today is a better day! I was over emotional yesterday and had a loooong day. I just got upset cause she knew how i felt about the situation but we spoke and all is forgiven and forgotten.

BTW got my period this morning that can explain the over hall in emotions.

ILoveSnacks · September 2013

So glad you are feeling better and you guys worked it out.

B27 · October 2013

I'm so glad you guys talked, and worked it out.

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