Question from a lurker re: NICU baby with older sibs

Re: Question from a lurker re: NICU baby with older sibs

• carrotcake06 member

  September 2013

  Our NICU stay was only 13 days, but the babies have an older brother. Splitting time was really hard. Basically, I'd spend my day with the babies in the hospital and then go home at night to be w my oldest when he came home from daycare. I spent nights at home.
  
  H returned to work after a week and it was much harder for him to find time to see the babies. A few times he would head down after our oldest was in bed for the night, around 9, and stay until midnight or so, but that got draining very quickly.

  
  
  
  

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• jcsntms06 member

  September 2013

  My DD was 2.5 when her baby sister was born. We were lucky that our stay was only 14 days. I keep DD1 in daycare while DD2 was in the NICU. We keep our schedule pretty much the same. I would head to the hospital from 9-3:30 and then at night my hubby would return to the NICU to be with DD2. My family took DD1 on the weekend so that she did fun things while her sister was at the NICU.
  
  Praying for your LO and family.
  

  
  
  
  
   
  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• jbranden12 member

  September 2013

  You are welcome here! The other moms have given great advice but might I also suggest that you see if the NICU where your DS will stay will let you take a tour with your DD and maybe have her meet with a child life specialist before you deliver? That way she can prepare. Hopefully the child life specialist can also give you some tips on how to talk to your DD about her little brother.

  
  

  Loving the Kirstens

  
  

    Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks

  Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks

  Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15

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• BeachMama7693 member

  September 2013

  It is hard no matter how long your stay. I have a 2 yr old and my new lo spent 16 days in NICU. We live 30 min from the hospital. My h is deployed so my mom watched my daughter while I went to the hospital. Our hospital has a hospitality house across the street and upon discharge I stayed there until lo was released. My dd stayed ith me at night, I went to all the day feedings and pumped at night. The best advice I got and can pass on is that your older child has a sense of time and your new baby does not. He will be in good hands when you are not there. If I were you I would stay at the NICU while your kiddo is at school and pump the rest from home. Good luck mama... It's stressful but you WILL get through it.

  
  
  

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• 74dragonfly member

  September 2013

  Thank you everybody for your advice.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• rslhmg member

  September 2013

  I cant speak much from the perspective of having another child since our boys are actually not mine and live full time with their mom, but the weeks we had them was pretty hectic, dh didnt come to see dd when it was our week with the boys, which was a little rough for me in a selfish way, and even harder for him. We did take the oldest to see dd once while she was in the nicu. He was 5 at the time, and in retrospect, I feel it was a big mistake. He was terrified, even though we had explained to him what the wires were for, why she was there and couldnt come home in a way he could understand. He was fine with the handwashing and having his temp taken by the nurses, but the minute he saw her with all her monitors you could see he was terrified. I ended up taking him for icecream and a talk about everything he had seen while dh spent a little time with dd. Dss said that he did not want to see her again until she came home, and I totally can't blame him.

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