Secondary IF

Anyone have their first with no issues?

Just curious who here had their first child(ren) without any knowledge of fertility issues?

It is a weird feeling sometimes - wondering if DD was a miracle of sorts and then also dealing with how people react.

I have had people respond to me telling them we are having issues with - well you have DD?! How can you be having issues?!

::facepalm::

Yes, I realize we have one child and were not aware of any issues back then. Does that somehow make our struggle less worthy? I realize it sucks whether you knew about fertility issues before your first - but this just makes it feel unreal at times....

BFP #1 7/31/09 - m/c 8/22/09

BFP #2 4/15/10 - DD born 12/31/10

TTC #2 since July 2012

BFP #3 9/24/12 - m/c 10/15/12

Dx PCOS/LPD 5/2013 - Rx Metformin (1500mg) and GF diet

BFP #4 6/10/13 - CP 6/12/13

8/2013 Rx for low dose Naltrexone

9/2013 DH's SA showed low motility/morph/viability

10/2013 Lap removed multiple areas of scar tissue adhesions and opened blocked tube.

BFP #5 1/24/2014 - EDD 10/3/2014

This could be it! Grow baby!

Re: Anyone have their first with no issues?

  • I am pretty sure DS's biological father just spit on me and I got pregnant.  

    Unfortunately, I am a mess of problems now and it is hard. 
    The questions are so hard and so invading... I will NEVER ask another person again about having kids.  My DH went to the dentist yesterday and he came home and told me if anyone asks him if we are going to have kids again, he is just going to say no.  It was just question after question and he didn't know what to say.  Said the dental assistant was nice, but just kept asking, Are you? How many? When? What do you want?   (We are in the closet so far with our IF struggles, and upcoming IVF) 



      


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  • I am pretty sure DS's biological father just spit on me and I got pregnant.  

    Unfortunately, I am a mess of problems now and it is hard. 
    The questions are so hard and so invading... I will NEVER ask another person again about having kids.  My DH went to the dentist yesterday and he came home and told me if anyone asks him if we are going to have kids again, he is just going to say no.  It was just question after question and he didn't know what to say.  Said the dental assistant was nice, but just kept asking, Are you? How many? When? What do you want?   (We are in the closet so far with our IF struggles, and upcoming IVF) 
    Ugh, we got this sorta thing all the time before DS. It is very annoying and hard to dodge. All I can say is, you learn to get tactful about changing the subject subtly so that the other person participating in the conversation doesn't even know what you've done.

    Turn it around: do they have kids? If so how many? What ages? and TADA 9 times out of10 they will ramble on and on.
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • @KC1212 - This was the first time DH was approached so aggressively by himself.  Sure she was trying to make convo but he said it made him uncomfortable. I felt bad for him. 

    Oh and P.S. I sent you a PM



      


  • We had no knowledge of fertility issues the first time around.  We still don't know what's wrong, even after undergoing test after test.  Everything's fine, apparently, except we're creeping up on the 2 year mark for ttc #2.

    We're open about our struggles, so we get, "Oh, maybe you should just be happy with one" or "Maybe you're not meant to have any more.  It might be a sign."  Fuck off.  I haven't said that yet but I only have so much tolerance.

    I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.  It sucks all around.

    TTC #2 since 1/2012

  • MrsMegan922MrsMegan922 member
    edited September 2013

    Yea - having people (strangers, especially) all up in your personal business is the worst.

    @freakyfast - my DH has started to get more emotional afterwards when people ask him about it. This is something somewhat new for him, but obviously shows that this has started to wear on him, especially since finding out we have some MFI issues going on.

    @Mrs Castillo - Not being able to find an answer must be so hard - I'm sorry.

    BFP #1 7/31/09 - m/c 8/22/09

    BFP #2 4/15/10 - DD born 12/31/10

    TTC #2 since July 2012

    BFP #3 9/24/12 - m/c 10/15/12

    Dx PCOS/LPD 5/2013 - Rx Metformin (1500mg) and GF diet

    BFP #4 6/10/13 - CP 6/12/13

    8/2013 Rx for low dose Naltrexone

    9/2013 DH's SA showed low motility/morph/viability

    10/2013 Lap removed multiple areas of scar tissue adhesions and opened blocked tube.

    BFP #5 1/24/2014 - EDD 10/3/2014

    This could be it! Grow baby!

  • Sorry @MrsCastillo - I was trying to tag you and it wouldn't let me edit.

    BFP #1 7/31/09 - m/c 8/22/09

    BFP #2 4/15/10 - DD born 12/31/10

    TTC #2 since July 2012

    BFP #3 9/24/12 - m/c 10/15/12

    Dx PCOS/LPD 5/2013 - Rx Metformin (1500mg) and GF diet

    BFP #4 6/10/13 - CP 6/12/13

    8/2013 Rx for low dose Naltrexone

    9/2013 DH's SA showed low motility/morph/viability

    10/2013 Lap removed multiple areas of scar tissue adhesions and opened blocked tube.

    BFP #5 1/24/2014 - EDD 10/3/2014

    This could be it! Grow baby!

  • roughkat said:
    We had no knowledge of fertility issues the first time around.  We still don't know what's wrong, even after undergoing test after test.  Everything's fine, apparently, except we're creeping up on the 2 year mark for ttc #2.

    We're open about our struggles, so we get, "Oh, maybe you should just be happy with one" or "Maybe you're not meant to have any more.  It might be a sign."  Fuck off.  I haven't said that yet but I only have so much tolerance.

    I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.  It sucks all around.
    Ummmm - if someone said that to me I would want to freak the f out - what is wrong with people!?

    BFP #1 7/31/09 - m/c 8/22/09

    BFP #2 4/15/10 - DD born 12/31/10

    TTC #2 since July 2012

    BFP #3 9/24/12 - m/c 10/15/12

    Dx PCOS/LPD 5/2013 - Rx Metformin (1500mg) and GF diet

    BFP #4 6/10/13 - CP 6/12/13

    8/2013 Rx for low dose Naltrexone

    9/2013 DH's SA showed low motility/morph/viability

    10/2013 Lap removed multiple areas of scar tissue adhesions and opened blocked tube.

    BFP #5 1/24/2014 - EDD 10/3/2014

    This could be it! Grow baby!

  • @freakyfast I pm'ed you back. Hope I helped :)
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • roughkat said:
    We had no knowledge of fertility issues the first time around.  We still don't know what's wrong, even after undergoing test after test.  Everything's fine, apparently, except we're creeping up on the 2 year mark for ttc #2.

    We're open about our struggles, so we get, "Oh, maybe you should just be happy with one" or "Maybe you're not meant to have any more.  It might be a sign."  Fuck off.  I haven't said that yet but I only have so much tolerance.

    I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.  It sucks all around.
    Ummmm - if someone said that to me I would want to freak the f out - what is wrong with people!?
    I know, right?  And it's been friends, which makes it tough.  Particularly one friend, who got pregnant on her first try and is one and done by choice.  I just told her she's not allowed to comment on what we're doing because she can't understand at all.  

    The crazy thing is I think people think they're being comforting when they say shit like that.  I just don't understand.

    TTC #2 since 1/2012

  • Yes! And I was just thinking about this earlier this morning.  Our DD was a surprise baby, so of course we thought having another would be easy peasy. 

    What really drives me nuts, is getting to the point of testing... going through all the bagillions of tests and finding NOTHING WRONG!! It's like what in the mother fuck?! My eggs are perfect, H's sperm are perfect, my tubes are open, my uterus is ready and waiting- and month after month NOTHING HAPPENS! 

    And YES! People ask me all the time "So when will you have another" and I have to lie and say "Oh, we don't have a lot of time to get together now" because they think it's just that easy, you snap your fucking fingers and BOOM you're pregnant. And for a lot of people, it is just that easy, and it happened for us once without even fucking trying!! It's just so frustrating. Sometimes I just feel like I am at the end of my rope with it all. 

    I really needed to vent about this today, so thanks for posting. 



    You said everything I was going to say... AMEN SISTER! AMEN!!
  • Ugh. Thank you for this post, because I need this vent today, too. It's baffling to me that DS came SO easily. We were shocked it happened so fast, so we WAITED to start TTC #2. I'll always kick myself for that. We should have just started trying right away.

    The comments always floor me. You guys have heard them all. What kills me lately is with all of my tummy issues. Everyone has asked, "are you sure you're not pregnant?" OMG yes. I am sure I am not pregnant. It's been 3 years with no explanation for the 2IF. I am 100% sure I am not pregnant. If it were morning sickness, I'd be shouting from the rooftops, not bitching about the pain.

    I'm so over 2IF. I wish there was a way I could destroy it. Just crush it and stomp on it and beat it to a pulp. It's a haunting beast.
  • Our first two were easy and I still find myself wondering if this is all a bad dream.
    annibes said:

    I'm so over 2IF. I wish there was a way I could destroy it. Just crush it and stomp on it and beat it to a pulp. It's a haunting beast.

    Well. Said.

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

  • I got pregnant with DD the first month we tried and then when we tried a second time, I again got pregnant the first month we tried. My RE still hasn't found any fertility issues, yet here I am about to start stims for IVF on Tuesday.

    I hate when people ask when we're going to have another baby. Something like, "we're hoping someday soon," spills out of my mouth, but I feel like the hurt on my face probably speaks louder than my words.
    image

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  • We had no trouble. First month we tried, we got KTFU with DD. We put of TTC #2 for a while, never dreamed we would have issues when it came to trying for a second. 17 months later and seeing an RE this week. It's been quite a journey. Secondary IF is such a different beast. I get a lot of the "why are you worried you have one child already" or "its not really infertility because you have a child" kind of comments. It sucks.
    DD 12/1/2009
    TTC#2 Since May 2012
    Dx PCOS February 2013 on Metformin 1500 mg
    Met with RE October 2013, we've got a plan!
    Surprise BFP on "break cycle" 10/12/13. EDD 6/17/14.
    MMC discovered 11/25/13 at 10 weeks. D&C 11/27/13.
    BFP 2/8/14 Beta#1: 176, Prog 18! Beta#2:335, Prog, 19.5!
    EDD 10/16/2014

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